Mountain Views News          Saturday, April 16, 2011

17

More News and Such

 Mountain Views News Saturday, April 16, 2011 


MY ANNUAL LETTER TO GOOD 
OLE’ UNCLE SAM by Rev. James L. Snyder

RICH Johnson

FIRST GRADES PROVERBS


You never know what you might come up with if you give a group of 
first grade students the first half of a proverb and ask them to fill in the rest. Please 
try to apply these timeless truths to your own life.

 Better to be safe than………...…………….punch a 5th grader!

 Strike while the…………………....……….bug is close!

 It’s always darkest before……………..........daylight savings time!

 Never underestimate the power of………...termites!

 Don’t bite the hand that………………....…looks dirty!

 A miss is as good as a………………....……mr.!

 You can’t teach an old dog……………....…math!

 If you lie down with dogs, you…………......will stink in the morning!

 Love all, but trust……………………...…...me!

 An idle mind is.……………………...……..the best way to relax!

 Where there’s smoke, there’s………....…….pollution!

 A penny saved is……………………...…….no much!

 Two is company, three’s………………....….the musketeers!

 Children should be seen and not…….…….spanked or grounded!

 If at first you don’t succeed……………....…get new batteries!

 You get out of something what you……..…see pictured on the box!

 When the blind lead the blind………….….get out of the way!

 Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and………

 .…you have to blow your nose!

Some deep questions worth pondering for even deeper meaning.

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the snowplow driver get to work on snowy days?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad at the drive up ATMs?

Why are there flotation devices under airplane seats and not parachutes?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

On a more somber note: I have lost a few friends these last couple of weeks to illness. One is a 
longtime Sierra Madre resident Chris Gordon. Chris was (and probably still is) a very committed 
Christian. He was (and probably still is) a very smart fellow who was known for perplexing questions 
particularly regarding faith. I suspect he now has an answer to all those perplexing questions. At least 
he is in the right place to be asking them. We will miss you Chris. 

April 15th is the time of the 
year when American citizens 
can communicate with their 
government. I cannot testify for 
anyone else, but I look forward 
to this marvelous opportunity, 
and I am careful not to waste it. 
This year, for example, so much 
has happened since last year 
it took 15 single spaced typed 
pages to include everything. 

However, to be perfectly honest 
(and who's perfect), I am a 
little disappointed. All the years 
I have included a personal letter 
including a SASE with my 
tax returns, I have yet to get a 
personal letter in return. I am 
beginning to think this is a one 
way relationship and it would 
not take much for me to quit 
this correspondence entirely. 
Then what would my government 
think? How would they 
know what I've been up to all 
year long? 

I am not one to complain (unless 
my wife is not around), but 
filling out my income tax return 
seems to be getting more complicated 
each year. When I familiarize 
myself with the rules 
for one year, someone changes 
them the next year. What could 
not be deducted last year can be 
this year; and what was deductible 
last year I must pay twice. 
Why can't someone in the government 
make up my mind 
and quit all this unnecessary 
fluctuation? 

On April 16, each year, our government 
immediately destroys 
the tax rulebooks to keep them 
from falling into the hands of 
a foreign power. By "foreign," I 
mean Canada. 

Heaven help us if our neighbor 
north of the border ever got 
their hands on this information. 
Canadians are not usually 
known for their jollity, but once 
they see these books, the entire 
country would break out into 
uncontrollable laughter. Who 
knows what this would do to the 
delicate relationship now existing 
between the two countries. 

Because of this important precaution, 
they need new tax law 
books each year. 

Right after the Christmas & 
New Year's parties, someone in 
the Internal Revenue office asks 
his assistant to "bring me those 
tax books." When they inform 
him that there are no books this 
same person (which shall remain 
nameless for obvious reasons) 
says to his assistant, "Bob, 
write me a new tax law book for 
this year and have it on my desk 
by 5:00." 

This sets the wheels of government 
to whirling and by golly, 
by 5:00, that new tax law book is 
on the desk. This is one reason 
the tax laws from one year are 
so different from the next. Then 
the assistant responsible for this 
is fired and a new one hired. The 
only requirement for the assistant 
is that his name must be 
"Bob." 

I wish one year Bob would call 
me. It seems he has overlooked 
many legitimate deductions 
every year. I would like to submit 
some recommendations for 
consideration. 

First, I am not too happy with 
this April 15th deadline. I feel 
it is much too restrictive and 
rigid. What is so special about 
April 15 that our government 
should have such an apprehension 
about me missing this 
deadline? What is wrong with 
June 15? Or, September 22, for 
that matter? 

I believe the Internal Revenue 
Service should be more understanding 
and practice a nonjudgmental 
attitude. After all, 
this is a new millennium calling 
for a new attitude on this 
whole business of taxes. They 
ought to trust me to send in my 
taxes whenever I'm ready, or 
remember. 

There are some deductions I 
have never seen on the forms 
I have filled out and I have always 
wondered why. Let me list 
some: 

Grandchildren have never 
been listed as a legitimate deduction. 
Does the IRS know just 
how expensive grandchildren 
are? My jellybean budget alone 
could finance a small third 
world country! 

Vacation is another item overlooked. 
Does the IRS think I 
am taking a vacation just for 
my health? Oh, yea. I guess am. 
Well, my health is important. 
Every dollar I spend on vacation 
should be deducted from my income, 
which would take a lot of 
stress off my next vacation, not 
to mention more money. 

Presents do not tell me Christmas 
and Birthday presents are 
not authentic tax-deductible 
considerations. If it were not 
for buying all those Christmas 
presents, the general economy 
of our country would go into a 
slump. Buying Christmas presents 
is the one thing I can do for 
my country and I should expect 
some compensation. 

Waiting in line at the post office 
after all, my time is valuable. 
Recently the Post Office 
has been complaining about 
the loss of business. It is not 
that. By the time I stand in line 
waiting to mail a birthday card 
the birthday has passed. (That 
reminds me. I need to post my 
Christmas cards next Tuesday if 
I want them to get there in time 
for Christmas.) 

These are just a few suggestions 
I would make if it were left up 
to me. 

Some people think that they 
can write their own ticket when 
it comes to God, forgetting that 
God has established rules and 
regulations that apply to everyone. 
The Bible clearly states 
this truth: "There is a way which 
seemeth right unto a man, but 
the end thereof are the ways of 
death" (Proverbs 14:12 KJV). 
And, "Jesus saith unto him, I am 
the way, the truth, and the life: 
no man cometh unto the Father, 
but by me" (John 14:6 KJV). 


Dorothy Bryant: 
AUTHOR

AUTHOR, 
REFLECTIONS 
OF THE SOUL

“The rest of the world will not 
disturb you unless you invite it 
in.” - Dorothy Bryant

By LaQuetta Shamblee

The radiating smile of Pasadena 
resident and author Dorothy 
Bryant is fitting complement 
to her words of inspiration in 
Reflections of the Spirit. This 
book is filled with 331 pages 
of quick-to-read reflections 
about life written in a creative 
rhythmic style. The seeds for 
the book were planted when 
she was a manager of a human 
resources call center with about 
25 employees ranging form the 
30’s to the 50’s. With the petty 
office politics at play, she felt 
that they were acting like three 
year old. She would wake up at 
3 a.m. in the morning and just 
start writing, then she would 
go to work, type her thoughts 
on paper and pass them out – 
an affirmation fairy of sorts. It 
worked! Working relationships 
in the office began to improve 
and she stopped, feeling that 
she didn’t need to continue to 
bombard them with the notes. 
To her amazement, “Why did 
you stop?” was their reaction. It 
was clear that they missed their 
regular doses of inspiration. 
They recommended that she 
write a book and as the saying 
goes, “The rest is history.” 

Life has provided twists and 
turns for this Louisiana native 
who was raised in the segregated 
south during the 
1950’s. She was 
raised by her 
grandparents from 
the age of three. 
Her grandfather 
died when she 
was 11, then her 
grandmother when 
she was 15 and 
she had to return 
to live with her 
mother, which was 
very unpleasant 
experience. 
Fortunately the 
seeds for learning 
and the importance 
of education had 
been planted 
deeply throughout 
her formative 
years. School was 
not a priority in her mother’s 
household, instead she was told 
upon moving in, “You need to 
go to work, so you can help me.” 
Like many young women during 
that era, upon graduating from 
high school, she seized the 
opportunity to get married and 
move away from home – and 
move she did as a military wife, 
since she’d married a guy who 
was in the U.S. Airforce.

It was an adventurous culture 
awakening as she spent most of 
her married life living outside 
the U.S. in Germany, Japan 
and Labador until returning 
years later to live in Oklahoma 
and Washington State before 
retiring in California. She 
says, “Having the experience 
of traveling and living in other 
countries was the greatest thing 
ever.” It opened up a whole 
new world and challenged 
the rigid rules of her southern 
upbringing. It was shocking 
to learn that everyone wasn’t 
going to church on Sunday, 
but they still adhered to morals 
and principles of decency and 
respect. Everybody seemed to 
be able to get along with each 
other, without the dogma and 
the routine of getting a lecture 
every week.

She says, “Reflections of the 
Spirit is about focusing on 
the internal, because that’s 
where the change needs to be.” 
Her life’s work is to inspire 
and uplift people. She wants 
to use her talents to assist 
people, to help them attain 
the ability to work on heal and 
strengthen themselves on the 
inside. She has facilitated a 
six-week meditation series at 
the Unity Church in Pasadena. 
Her dream is to open a center 
to continue and expand her 
practice of guided meditations 
for goal achievement and stress 
reduction. With manuscripts 
for two more books already 
completed, we’re waiting to 
hear more. For copies of the 
book, local readings and book 
signings, contact Dorothy 
Bryant at dorothybr@sbcglobal.
net or (626) 298-1036.