Mountain Views News          Saturday, June 9, 2012

14

OPINION

 Mountain Views News Saturday June 9, 2012 

STUART Tolchin..........On LIFE

HAIL Hamilton My Turn

Mountain 
Views

News

PUBLISHER/ EDITOR

Susan Henderson

CITY EDITOR

Dean Lee 

EAST VALLEY EDITOR

Joan Schmidt

SALES

Patricia Colonello

626-355-2737 

626-818-2698

PRODUCTION 

Richard Garcia

PHOTOGRAPHY

Lina Johnson

WEBMASTER

John Aveny 

CONTRIBUTORS

Jeff Brown

Pat Birdsall

Chris Leclerc

Bob Eklund

Howard Hays

Paul Carpenter

Stuart Tolchin

Kim Clymer-Kelley

Christopher Nyerges

Peter Dills 

Hail Hamilton 

Rich Johnson

Chris Bertrand

Ron Carter

Rev. James Snyder

Bobby Eldridge

Mary Carney

La Quetta Shamblee

Katie Hopkins

Deanne Davis

Despina Arouzman

Greg Wellborn

Dr. John Talevich

Meaghan Allen

Sean Kayden

JUST DO YOUR BEST 

 
Last weekend 
my daughter flew 
back to her college 
for a fifteen year 
reunion. While 
there she began 
the process of 
setting up a scholarship in the name 
of her college friend who became 
her roommate while my daughter 
attended Law School and her friend 
pursued a graduate degree. This 
friend, politically active leader while 
in college, was a vivacious, attractive 
woman spoken of highly by all 
those who knew her. In retrospect 
it was realized that she knew many 
people but was not really close to 
anyone. This young woman, of 
great potential if that makes any 
difference, committed suicide. My 
daughter feels that helping to endow 
a scholarship will make it possible for 
her to maintain a kind of bond which 
she formerly took for granted but now 
has begun to treasure.

 Really, I don’t know very much 
about how my daughter feels about 
her lost friend. I know the woman 
was an African-American from a 
broken home but that’s about all. I 
think my daughter wants to help 
establish a scholarship for minority 
person from around the local area 
of the college. We didn’t talk much 
about her purpose in doing this 
because such things are usually left 
unsaid. I think she knew that I was 
very proud of her for considering the 
idea but I think she also knows that it 
is not necessary for her to do anything 
more to be proud of her. I am proud 
enough already and have been for 
many years

 A couple of years ago I had become 
friendly with a novelist who lived up 
the block. He was very supportive to 
me about my desire to write articles 
and we talked a little about writing. I 
probably ignored most of his advice 
or more honestly simply did not feel 
comfortable in following the advice 
he gave me. That advice was mainly, 
“Hit them over the head with it”. He 
explained that most readers would 
just sort of skim the articles and 
if the writing was too deep or too 
complicated or too obscure it simply 
would not be worth their time to take 
the trouble. Mainly, he told me not to 
skip from one topic to another and to 
just keep it simple. 

 I hated this advice because it simply 
is not what I wanted to do. I want to 

share myself with my unknown 
invisible readers. I want that reader 
to be my friend and to understand me 
and to care about what I am saying. 
I’ve been writing these articles now 
for about five years and I think I’ve 
learned a little something in the 
process. Being a friend is a two-way 
street. My novelist friend was right 
in that it was unfair for me to expect 
readers to willingly jump around in 
my head with me and follow me from 
topic. At the same time I have learned 
that if l make a little more effort to 
connect the dots, so to speak, some 
readers will take the trouble to follow 
my path and will go so far as to extend 
that path which results in my learning 
a little bit more about myself. These 
dialogues are really fulfilling and feel 
like lessons in human relations. If 
someone today asked me the question, 
“What are other people for?” I would 
answer there are no other people. 
Probably my questioner would not 
know what I was talking about but if 
we could find the time to talk more 
together I would try and explain that 
the separation between ourselves and 
others is illusory. Every other person 
we meet has something to tell us about 
ourselves and we have something 
to tell them about themselves. Each 
of our lives is an ongoing process of 
learning. It never stops unless we stop 
it. How do we stop it? By refusing to 
be aware—and that’s what most of us 
do most of the time.

 Yes, I’ve done it again. I’ve jumped 
from my daughter’s desire to endow 
a scholarship, to a discussion of my 
intent in writing articles, to a final 
esoteric reference to a kind of new-age 
world view. How does this all connect 
or does it? I think in considering my 
daughter’s mention of the scholarship 
I became aware that she experienced 
some sadness at taking her friend for 
granted and not getting to know her 
better. Perhaps she could have been 
more aware and perhaps have been of 
some help to her friend. She wants to 
do better and maybe the establishment 
of the scholarship and her connection 
to it will help her to stay aware of that 
continuing desire to be of help and 
will allow her to assist other people. If 
you got this far maybe you can figure 
out the other connections and then 
explain them to me. Just kidding I 
think; but I can always use a little 
more understanding, explanation, 
and attention.

The Case Against the CAHSEE

 In a May 22, 
2010 editorial, 
“Defending the 
CAHSEE,” I 
argued why the 
California High 
School Exit Exam 
should be maintained and expanded 
to include all high school students, in 
particular special education students 
who were being allowed to graduate 
without having passed the test. Now, 
almost two years later, I have changed 
my opinion. It is now my opinion that 
the CAHSEE should be immediately 
dropped as a graduation requirement.

 The reasons for my change of mind 
are simple: The most recent review 
of research on exit exams, done by 
researchers at the University of Texas, 
concluded that high school exit exams 
do not lead to higher graduation rates, 
more college attendance, increased 
student learning or higher employment. 
In fact, researchers all across the nation 
have yet to discover any benefits 
of having a high school exit exam. 
Whatever lies the public has been told, 
the simple fact is the CAHSEE is not a 
high school exit exam at all. It is really a 
middle school exit exam that tests only 
beginning 9th grade English and math 
skills. 

 More important is the cost. In these 
times when teachers are being asked to 
take pay cuts and layoffs due to a lagging 
economy, should California tax dollars 
be wasted on a test that isn’t worth the 
paper it’s printed on? Don’t get me 
wrong. I still believe that if high school 
diplomas are to be worth anything at 
all, students must be held accountable 
by demonstrating a basic mastery of 
English, and mathematics. However, 
I no longer believe the CAHSEE is the 
way to go to realize this goal. Let me 
explain.

 In California, it has been estimated 
that the exit exams cost about $60 per 
exam. This amounted to nearly $73 
million this past year simply to have 
the tests written up and distributed. 
This does not count the time spent 
by teachers in test preparation or the 
expense of retesting and remediation 
after testing.

 So how much does the CAHSEE cost? 
Here’s what I found out. I looked it up 
the line items in the 2011-2012 state 
budget to find out just how much we are 
currently spending on the high school 
exit exam in California. You can do the 
same by using your “find” or “search” 
option on your computer to find each of 
these sections within the budget. But do 
it while you’re sitting down - 

6110-204-0001 CAHSEE Instructional 
support (test prep!!) $58,314,000

6110-204-0002 CAHSEE Test 
Appropriation $72,752,000 --- (the cost 
actual CAHSEE test booklets)

 The total of these figures is a 
whopping $131,066,000! But that’s just 
what’s printed in the budget; there are 
also hidden costs in the CAHSEE that 
are not included in the budget and these 
costs are enormous.

 According outspoken CAHSEE critic 
Jo Ann Rupert Behm:

“Starting in 2006, $56.4 million a year 
is awarded to help special ed seniors 
pass CAHSEE. $72.4 million a year 
gives general ed seniors additional 
CAHSEE tutoring. Add $5.5 million 
for intervention materials and $2.5 
million for revised workbooks. Raising 
the number of times seniors can re-take 
CAHSEE from 3 to 5 times added $5.1 
million. $275 million is spent yearly 
for “focused” CAHSEE tracking and 
test prep starting in 7th grade for poor 
testers identified through STAR tests. 

“The CAHSEE office at the California 
Department of Education [CDE] with a 
staff of 7 costs an estimated $2 million. 
The independent contract including 
travel to/from Virginia to deliver 
glowing CAHSEE reports to the State 
Board 2-3 times a year costs about $3 
million. Educational Testing Service 
has a 3-year contract for $55.1 million 
to produce and score the CAHSEE. At 
least $10 million from taxpayer coffers 
has been sunk defending and settling 
the exit exam against four class action 
lawsuits.

“There is a lot of waste, too. School 
officials reported to the State Board in 
May 2007 that over $920,000 worth 
of exams had to be shredded because 
students who failed earlier never 
returned to retest.

“Even more eye-popping, Adult 
Education bill [AB 2532] analysts 
estimated during an August 2006 
Appropriations Committee hearing 
that non-credit test prep courses for 
“continuation” seniors denied diplomas 
[due to CAHSEE] would cost taxpayers 
$33.5 million for every 12,000 rejected 
graduates entering Adult Ed. In 2006, 
25% or 12,000 out of the 48,000 seniors 
denied diplomas were expected to 
enroll.”

 In other words, last year California 
taxpayers spent an astronomical $583.5 
MILLION on the CAHSEE -- a test 
proven to be of no educational value 
whatsoever (except as a huge source of 
easy money for the test makers). This 
outrageous sacrifice of human and 
economic capital is one more example 
of the wrongheaded gimmicks driving 
California schools further in the hole 
financially while discouraging quality 
learning and durable school reforms.

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OUT TO PASTOR 

A Weekly Religion Column by Rev. James Snyder

I CRY AT WEDDINGS, TOO


RICH Johnson

June is quite famous 
for the variety 
of nuptial 
activities. I am not 
sure exactly why 
June is the month 
of choice for these couples; I just go along 
with the flow. Consequently, through the 
years, I have officiated at many weddings 
during the month of June.

 I must confess that weddings are not my 
favorite form of activity. I had much rather 
be doing something else, anything else, 
than officiating at the wedding ceremony 
of a young couple who are in love.

 When I first began this area of my pastoral 
work, I was very nervous. I was concerned 
that people were watching and 
judging me and therefore I needed to 
have everything perfect. The day of the 
wedding found me an absolute nervous 
wreck. If it was not for several Apple Fritters 
that morning, I am not sure how I 
would get through the day.

 I feel that my personal inconvenience at 
these nuptial ceremonies qualified me to 
indulge in eating several, if not many, Apple 
Fritters. Everybody needs something 
to help endure the inconveniences of life. 
Apple Fritter is my chosen remedy.

 I remember when I came to the shocking 
conclusion that nobody at the wedding 
ceremony was watching me. The wedding 
ceremony was concluded and the reception 
was over and I was in the restroom 
washing my hands when I happened to 
look into the mirror. There to my chagrin 
I discovered that the back of my collar was 
not covering my tie. Nobody even hinted 
that I had a wardrobe malfunction.

 It was then I realized that nobody was 
paying any attention to me. I could come 
to the wedding ceremony in a swimsuit 
and nobody would notice. Not that I have 
been tempted in this area, mind you. After 
all, the focus of the whole affair is the 
bride.

 Since this amazing discovery, weddings 
have not been quite so difficult for me. I 
do not worry about my appearance because 
nobody else is worrying about my 
appearance.

 I often counsel young grooms who seem 
quite nervous that nobody is even aware 
of their presence. Nobody comes to a 
wedding to see the groom. The only thing 
that really matters is the bride.

 After a wedding everybody always says, 
"Wasn't the bride beautiful?" Or, "Didn't 
the bride look beautiful in her wedding 
dress?"

 I have yet to hear somebody say, "Wasn't 
that groom handsome?" Or, "I loved the 
groom’s tuxedo." It just never happens. 
This is the reason why every groom wears 
a rented tuxedo. Nobody is admiring him 
or his attire.

 The wedding dress is something altogether 
different. Very few brides rent a 
wedding dress. Even though they are only 
going to wear it, supposedly, once in their 
lifetime, they all want to buy that special 
wedding dress.

 One reason I am not so very fond of 
weddings is the premarital counseling involved. 
Of all the counseling I have given 
through the years, I am wondering if anybody 
ever paid attention to what I said. 
I think I could do the whole counseling 
session in pig Latin and the couple would 
sit there smiling at me as though they understood 
every word I was saying.

 With that in mind, I have tried through 
the years to make the counseling sessions 
as long and painful as possible. If they can 
survive a series of premarital counseling 
sessions from me, then they deserve a 
lifetime of holy matrimonial bliss.

 One strange phenomenon I have seen 
in weddings throughout the years is the 
number of people who cry at weddings. 
For some it may be overwhelmed with 
happiness. Others may be overwhelmed 
with memories of their own wedding. But 
the father of the bride is the one I watch.

 It is very hard for some of these fathers 
to keep back the tears, not because they 
are losing a daughter, or because they are 
gaining a son-in-law, but because they 
are losing a whole lot of money on this 
wedding.

 Then it got me thinking. Most weddings 
cost a small fortune. Of course small is a 
relative term. A young bride coached by 
her mother will find ways to burn through 
the father's bank account. "No price is too 
much to pay for this daughter of ours," 
the mother explains. "She's worth everything 
it costs."

 And the father weeps some more. Especially 
if there is the younger daughter in 
the wings.

 Looking into the situation the more I 
discovered just how much people pay for 
their weddings.

 When anybody asks me about performing 
the wedding ceremony and how much 
I charge, I always say that I do not charge 
anything. What I am really saying is that 
I would prefer cash. I always leave that to 
the discretion of the groom. Usually, the 
groom is so discreet in paying me that I 
actually never see any money.

 When I discover how much the wedding 
has cost and how much I was not given 
as an honorarium for my services, I too, 
weep at weddings.

 Occasionally, I meet a young couple who 
understand the importance of a Christian 
marriage. Although it is viewed as 
old-fashioned, I like to reflect what the 
Bible says. "Therefore shall a man leave 
his father and his mother, and shall cleave 
unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" 
(Genesis 2:24 KJV). This kind of a wedding 
calls for tears of joy.

GIVING PILLS TO PETS

A relatively new 
phenomenon in 
the world of pets 
is the advanced 
medical care and 
attention paid 
to family pets. I 
know of 3 good 
friends who give their diabetic cats 
daily insulin shots.

A friend of mine, Cindy (who happens 
to have a small Maltese dog) passed 
along this information describing 
administering a pill orally to both cats 
and dogs. Thank you Cindy for this 
valuable insight.

Giving a pill to a cat

Pick up your cat and cradle it in the 
crook of your left arm as if holding a 
baby. Position your right forefinger 
and thumb on either side of cat’s 
mouth and gently apply pressure to 
cheeks while holding the pill in right 
hand. As your cat opens his or her 
mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat 
to close mouth and swallow. 

Okay, pick up the spit out pill from 
the floor and bring back the cat from 
behind the sofa. Again, cradle your cat 
in your left arm and repeat process. 

Retrieve the cat from bedroom, and 
throw away the now soggy pill. 

Take a new pill from its foil wrap, again 
cradle the cat in your left arm, holding 
rear paws tightly with left hand. Force 
jaws open and push pill to back of 
mouth with right forefinger. Hold 
mouth shut for a count of ten. 

Retrieve the newly regurgitated pill 
from the goldfish bowl and grab the 
cat from top of wardrobe. Also, call in 
the spouse for assistance.

Kneel on the floor with your cat 
wedged firmly between your knees 
holding its front and rear paws. Ignore 
the low growls emitted by cat. Get 
your spouse to hold head firmly with 
one hand while forcing wooden ruler 
into the cat’s mouth. Drop pill down 
ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously. 
Have your spouse get a ladder and 
retrieve the cat from the curtain rail. Get 
another pill from the foil wrap. Make 
a note to buy new a ruler and repair 
the curtains. Carefully sweep shattered 
figurines and vases from hearth and set 
to one side for gluing and repair later. 
Now, wrap the cat in a large towel and 
get your spouse to lie on the cat with 
the cat’s head visible from below the 
armpit. Put the pill in end of drinking 
straw, force the cats mouth open with 
pencil and blow down drinking straw.
Check the pet medicine label to 
make sure the pill is not harmful to 
humans and drink one beer to get 
rid of the taste. Apply neosporine 
and a band-aid to your spouse ‘ s 
forearm and remove the blood from 
carpet with cold water and soap. 
Fetch your cat from the neighbor’s the 
shed. Get another pill and open another 
beer. Place the cat in the cupboard, and 
close the door onto cats neck, leaving 
only the head showing. Force tabby’s 
mouth open with a dessert spoon. Flick 
pill down throat with elastic band. 
Find a screwdriver from the garage 
and put the cupboard door back on its 
hinges. Drink the beer. While you’re at 
it, fetch a bottle of scotch. Pour shot, 
drink. Repeat. Apply cold compress to 
your cheek and check records for the 
date of your last tetanus shot. 


Call the fire department to help 
retrieve the damn cat from the top of 
the tree across the road. Apologize to 
your neighbor who crashed into their 
fence while swerving to avoid the cat. 
Take last pill from foil wrap. Using 
heavy-duty pruning gloves from 
the shed, tie the little *&#%^’s front 
paws to his or her rear paws with 
garden twine and bind tightly to leg 
of dining table. Push pill into mouth 
followed by large piece of filet steak. 
Be rough about it. Hold the cats 
head vertically and pour two pints of 
water down throat to wash pill down. 
Consume the remainder of scotch. 
Get your spouse to drive you to the 
emergency room. Sit quietly while 
the emergency room physician 
stitches your fingers and forearm and 
removes the pill remnants from your 
right eye. Call the furniture shop on 
the way home to order a new table. 
Arrange for ASPCA to 
collect mutant cat from hell.
NOW, how To Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap the pill in a slice of bacon.
2. Toss it in the air….DONE!

I hope you have found these pet 
owner’s experiences helpful.

 Thank you Cindy and Sparky.

Mountain Views News

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