Mountain Views News, Pasadena Edition [Sierra Madre] Saturday, December 22, 2018

B3

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

 Mountain Views News Saturday, December 22, 2018 

LAST MINUTE GIFT IDEAS 

From Kevin McGuire

SUSAN HENDERSON

Editor/Publisher

Mountain Views

News

PUBLISHER/ EDITOR

Susan Henderson

PASADENA CITY 
EDITOR

Dean Lee 

EAST VALLEY EDITOR

Joan Schmidt

BUSINESS EDITOR

LaQuetta Shamblee

PRODUCTION

Richard Garcia

SALES

Patricia Colonello

626-355-2737 

626-818-2698

WEBMASTER

John Aveny 

DISTRIBUTION

Lancelot

CONTRIBUTORS

Mary Lou Caldwell

Kevin McGuire

Chris Leclerc

Bob Eklund

Howard Hays

Paul Carpenter

Kim Clymer-Kelley

Christopher Nyerges

Peter Dills 

Rich Johnson

Lori Ann Harris

Rev. James Snyder

Dr. Tina Paul

Katie Hopkins

Deanne Davis

Despina Arouzman

Jeff Brown

Marc Garlett

Keely Toten

Dan Golden

Rebecca Wright

Hail Hamilton


It’s that time of year again —the time of year when you scream, “WHAT? 
CHRISTMAS IS IN THREE DAYS!!!” But, before you run out there to buy that 
last minute gifts like the emoji poop hat, draft beer Jelly Bellys, or lightsaber 
chopsticks, consider these other gems for that special someone in your life. 

1. Motion-Activated Toilet Light- Not sure why 
you would take a chance on positioning your 
backside on the toilet in the dark, but if that’s 
the dare you choose to take, then a multi-color 
glowing toilet bowl may just be your thing! You 
better hope it works tough, if not you may be 
spending your new year straightening your 
spine (and your pride) in the hospital. Try blue, 
pink, or green, though I don’t recommend yellow. If your toilet bowl isn’t more 
fun, you are guaranteed a refund. If you are flush with cash, this item is only $13 
at Amazon. 

2. Bumper Balls- You know; for the kids. Worried about 
the little ones coming in from the yard with bumps and 
bruises from wrestling around? Well, now they can not 
only have a ball—they can be a ball too. These look like 
something straight out of an 80s New Order video. Call 
it a hamster ball, sumo wrestling suit or human soccer 
ball, these 36-inch orbs inflate in minutes for hours of 
bouncy fun, until you get that call from the neighbor, 
“hey, your kid bounced over my fence again…the dog 
is going nuts…come get him.” Makers also say grandpa 
can join in the fun. Not sure this is wise, especially if you live on a slope. One 
tumble and the family will begin 2019 stapling signs in the neighborhood. 
Missing: Silver-haired man, wearing “Number 1 Grandpa” shirt, tan khakis and 
a big, inflatable blue ball…last seen rolling down Madison Street. Hopefully, it 
won’t come to that. This one is $46.97 for a two-pack. 

3. Smart Phone-Controlled Paper Airplane – 
“You’ll shoot your eye out! You’ll shoot your eye 
out!” Yeah, nothing could go wrong here. This 
baby is propeller run and travels up to 25 mph 
with a battery life of 30 minutes and a range of 
180 feet. Perfect for flying over office partitions 
and dive bombing unsuspecting co-workers, like 
Mary who couldn’t 
help herself at Barry’s 
birthday party and 
had that second piece of cake leaving you, well, cake-
less. This bird is Bluetooth-enabled, and made from 
“crash-proof” carbon fiber. Crash-proof? Isn’t that 
what they said about driverless cars? Anyway, it can 
be yours for $40.00 at uncommongoods.com. 

4. The Ostrich Wearable Pillow- You just can’t make 
this stuff up! This pillow is not just for your head, it’s 
for over your head, like and ostrich sticking its head 
in the sand (which really doesn’t happen…I mean, 
how would they breathe?). Made with “super comfy 
micro-beads” this is the perfect gift for the slacker 
in your life. Ideal for the office so you can hide your 
head in a sack and hope the boss doesn’t notice you 
didn’t get that expense report done that was due an 
hour ago. 

Bonus: KFC YULE LOG- As a bonus, I can’t help but mention that KFC has come 
out with a fireplace log that 
smells like fried chicken 
(I’ll give you a minute to 
adjust your glasses to make 
sure you read that right). 
It’s a finger-lickin’ fire! Here 
is the actual tweet from @
KFC: “Introducing the 11 
Herbs & Spices Firelog 
from Enviro-Log®, the best 
way to make a fire smell less 
like fire and more like fried chicken.” Doesn’t sound like the safest way to enjoy 
the season, especially if you have pets…oh my! 

Anyway, Merry Christmas! 

'DON'T NOBODY BRING 
ME NO BAD NEWS!

 The above quote is from the Broadway Musical The Wiz, the 
soulful remake of The Wizard of Oz. The lyrics also include, "I'f 
you're gonna bring me something, Bring me, something I can use 
- But don't you bring me no bad news". Those words also reflect 
exactly how I have been feeling of late, especially as I put this 
edition to 'bed', 3 days before Christmas - a time of celebration, 
love and sharing. 'Bad News' is all we have heard this week. 
I'm not going to articulate all of the bad news that came out of 
Washington and/or Trump's mouth just suffice it to say, it has 
been bad, very bad, for a great many people, especiallly the 
almost 800,000 federal employees who, as of this writing are caught in the crossfire of 
political malfeasance led by the primary resident at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. So......I've 
decided that this week, our Opinion Page is going to be on the lighter side of things. Items 
that will divert our attention from the canceruos chaos that has overwhelmed us all.

 I hope something on this page willl make you laugh, or at least temporarily forget about 
everything else except the real Joy of the Season. Merry Christmas 


Happy Holidays from our family to yours

Best wishes for a wonderful holiday season!

Thank you so much for your continued support!

From Your Mountain Views News Family,

H. Susan Henderson, Publisher/Editor 

Mountain Views News 
has been adjudicated as 
a newspaper of General 
Circulation for the County 
of Los Angeles in Court 
Case number GS004724: 
for the City of Sierra 
Madre; in Court Case 
GS005940 and for the 
City of Monrovia in Court 
Case No. GS006989 and 
is published every Saturday 
at 80 W. Sierra Madre 
Blvd., No. 327, Sierra 
Madre, California, 91024. 
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Views News and may 
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TOM PURCELL

JOY, WONDER, LAUGHTER 
CHILDREN’S CHRISTMAS GIFTS TO 
ADULTS

I love Christmas. 

I love it because my mother has worked hard to make 
the day magical and eventful for her family for more 
years than she will permit me to share!

My mother has six children, 17 grandchildren and nine 
great-grandchildren - and counting. Every Christmas, 
we, along with a mix of cousins, aunts and uncles, 
gather in my parents’ home. 

After we enjoy a Christmas feast - our dining room table abuts two folding 
tables borrowed from a local church - we enjoy coffee and desert as we talk 
about everything and nothing at all and marvel that another year has passed 
so quickly.

And then it’s time for the best part of our annual gathering: the gift exchange.

We retire to the family room in the basement, the only room big enough to 
hold everyone. My siblings and I helped my father remodel it into a family 
room years ago, and my mother’s elaborate Christmas decorations fill it with 
a warm glow.

My mother plays the very Christmas albums, scratches and all, that we listened 
to as children 40-plus years ago. These include “Holiday Sing-Along with Mitch 
Miller,” “Snoopy vs. the Red Baron” and Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas.”

We adults usually do a modest grab-bag swap, but the gift ritual isn’t for us. It’s 
for the youngest family members in the room.

Our large, extended family has suffered its share of loss over the years. We are 
filled with grief as our older family members pass on to the next life, leaving a 
huge hole in our hearts.

But our grief is eased by the energetic young souls who are born into our family 
- souls filled with boundless joy and wonder as they bask in the love of their 
extended family on Christmas. 

There are few things more rewarding than to see the excitement and happiness 
in a young child’s eyes when she opens a gift you got just for her - there are few 
words more satisfying than “I love it, Uncle Tom!”

We must learn from our children - we must remember the truths we knew so 
well when we were their age. 

Children are curious. “Why?” is the question they ask over and again. Their 
minds are wide open, trying to understand the world - not closed and 
judgmental, certain that their positions are correct and their opponents are 
fools.

Children are filled with love. Much of the evil in our world is caused by hatred. 
Hatred is a learned behavior that some adults pass down to their children. Love 
is innate. Adults must remember how to embrace love. 

Children know how to laugh. Laughter is a cure for multiple ills, in particular 
stress. Laughter helps us escape the narrowness of our limited points of view 
- helps us escape self-importance. Remember how easily laughter came as a 
child? Adults must remember to laugh. 

I hope the eventfulness of my parents’ family room on Christmas will be a 
memory our youngest family members will cherish for the rest of their lives.

They have no idea how much their presence and excitement fills us adults with 
boundless joy. 

How much better the world would be if we adults became more curious and 
loving and laughed more as we navigate the complexity of the adult world.

That’s why I love Christmas - and wish you, dear readers, and your families an 
uplifting holiday season!


Mountain Views News

Mission Statement

The traditions of 
community news-
papers and the 
concerns of our readers 
are this newspaper’s 
top priorities. We 
support a prosperous 
community of well-
informed citizens. We 
hold in high regard the 
values of the exceptional 
quality of life in our 
community, including 
the magnificence of 
our natural resources. 
Integrity will be our guide. 

Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com