Mountain Views News, Combined Edition Saturday, January 22, 2022

MVNews this week:  Page 12

Mountain Views-News Saturday, January 22, 2022 


Dear Savvy Senior:
Can you provide any tips on how to write an obituary? My dad, who has terminal cancer, has asked 
me to write his obituary, which will be published in the funeral program and run in our local newspaper. 
Not a Writer 

Dear Not: 

I’m very sorry to hear about your dad’s prognosis. 
Writing your dad’s obituary would be a nice way for 
you to honor him and sum up his life, not to mention 
avoiding any possible mistakes that sometimes 
occur when obituaries are hurriedly written at the 
time of death. Here’s what you should know, along 
with some tips and tools to help you write it. 

Contact the Newspaper 

Before you start writing your dad’s obituary, your first step is to check with the newspaper you 
want it to run in. Some newspapers have specific style guidelines or restrictions on length, some 
only accept obituaries directly from funeral homes, and some only publish obituaries written by 
newspaper staff members. 

If your newspaper accepts family-written obits, find out if they have a template to guide you, or 
check with your dad’s chosen funeral provider. Most funeral homes provide forms for basic information 
and will write the full obituary for you as part of the services they provide. 

You also need to be aware that most newspapers charge by the word, line or column inch to publish 
an obituary, so your cost will vary depending on your newspaper’s rate and the length of your 
obit – most range between 200 and 600 words. 

Also note that many newspapers offer free public service death listings too, which only include the 
name of the person who died along with the date and location of death and brief details about the 
funeral or memorial service. 

Obituary Contents 

Depending on how detailed you want to be, the most basic information in an obituary usually 
would include your dad’s full name (and nickname if relevant), age, date of birth, date of death, 
where he was living when he died, significant other (alive or dead), and details of the funeral service 
(public or private). If public, include the date, time, and location of service. 

Other relevant information you may also want to include: cause of death (optional); place of birth 
and his parents’ names; his other survivors including his children, other relatives, friends and 
pets and where they live; family members who preceded his death; high school and colleges he 
attended and degrees earned; his work history and military service; his hobbies, accomplishments 
and any awards he received; his church or religious affiliations; any clubs, civic and fraternal organizations 
he was members of; and any charities he feels strongly about that he would like people 
to donate to either in addition to or in lieu of flowers or other gifts. You’ll also need to include a 
photo of your dad. 

Need Help? 

If you need some help writing your dad’s obituary there are free online resources you can turn 
to like, which provides tips and articles at 
Or consider the 25-page e-book “Writing an Obituary in Four Easy Steps” available at for $5. This guide will help you gather the details of your dad’s life so you can 
write an obituary that will reflect his personality and story. 

Online Memorials 

Many families today also choose to post their loved one’s obituaries online and create digital memorials. 
Some good sites that offer this are, and EverLoved. 
com, which provide a central location where family and friends can visit to share stories, memories 
and photos to celebrate your dad’s life. 

Or, if your dad used Facebook, you could also turn his profile into a memorial (you’ll need to show 
proof of death) where family and friends can visit and share anytime. 

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.
org. Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author of “The Savvy Senior” book. 


 By Marc Garlett 


A last will and testament is the most commonly thought-of document 

when it comes to an estate plan. But really, it is only a small part of an integrated 
plan that ensures your family stays out of court and out of conflict if and when something 
happens to you. 

Do not think you can just write your own will and that will help your family.
You have probably seen ads from services that tout the idea that you can write your own will quickly 

– maybe even while you are in the security line at the airport (seriously, we have seen those ads in 
our own Facebook feeds). 
Instead, consider the reality that trying to write your own will could actually create far more trouble 
for your loved ones down the road. Your family and loved ones need you to get professional support 
from someone who can help you look at what you own, who you trust, and what would happen to 
you and everyone you love in the event of your incapacity or death.
Death is unavoidable – and incapacity will happen to many of us before that. These are facts.
Facing these matters head-on leads you – and your loved ones – to having the best life possible. 
Otherwise, it is the people you love who get stuck with everything you did not take care of when 
you could have. 

Unfortunately, if you go it alone, you may miss important facets of what happens in the event of 
your incapacity or death. For example, you may think that a will is sufficient when what you really 
need is a probate avoidance trust to keep your family out of court. A five-minute will won’t help you 
stay out of court. 

Or you may think your kids are adequately protected because you have a will, but you may really 
need a full Kids Protection Plan® and without it your kids could end up in the care of strangers, 
even if just temporarily. Before you do anything, get educated and empowered to do what is right.
The right plan for you begins with knowing what you have, and then being clear on what is necessary 
to keep your family out of court and conflict and keep your assets out of your state’s unclaimed 
property fund. If you are ready to write your will, that is great – but see an estate planning lawyer 

The biggest mistake you can make is not facing the reality of death, the second biggest mistake is 
facing it alone. 


HAPPY BIRTHDAY! …January Birthdays* 

Gerald Day, Mary Tassop, Judy Webb-Martin, John Johnson, Mary 
Bickel, Marlene Enmark, Shirley Wolf, Ross Kellock, Ruth Wolter, Sandy 
Thistlewaite, Bobbi Rahmanian, Fran Syverson, Judy Zaretzka and Becky 

* To add your name to this distinguished list, please call the paper at 
626.355.2737. YEAR of birth not required 


 In house lunch dining service will not resume at this time. Access to the computer/
classroom is temporarily unavailable. All Classes and programs will maintain a distance 
of 6 ft between participants. All equipment used will be sanitized after each 
use before it is stored. Each participant is responsible for providing their own water, 
masks and additionally needed supplies for each class. Please call the Community 
Services Department at 355-7394 with any questions or concerns. 

DOMINOES TRAIN GAME- Wed. 1/5 & 1/19, 11:00 am— 12:30 pm, Hart Park HouseThe object of the game is for a player to play all the tiles from their hand onto one or more 
trains, emanating from a central hub or “station”. Call Lawren with questions that you may 
have. Led by volunteer Loni. 

PAINT PALS - Tuesday, 1/11 & 1/25, 10:00 am, Hart Park HouseIf you enjoy painting, sketching, water color, or making some other form of artistic creation 
please join our new program, PAINT PALS!!! Bring a project that you are working on to the 
HPH and enjoy some quality art time with other artists looking to paint with a new pal. 

BOOK CLUB - Wednesday, 1/11 & 1/18, 9:00 am, Hart Park HouseStaff has launched a new book club series, Tea and Talk, which meets twice a month to discuss 
the fun, suspense, intrigue, love and so much more that each selection will have in store! 

FIBER FRIENDS - Tuesday, 1/4 & 1/18, 10:00 am, Hart Park House 
If you enjoy knitting, crocheting, embroidery, needlepoint, bunka, huck, tatting or cross stitch 
then we have a group for you! Bring your current project, a nonalcoholic beverage, then sit 
and chat with like-minded fiber friends. 

BLOOD PRESSURE - 2nd Tuesdays Monthly, 11:00 am - 12:00 pm 
No appointment is necessary. Held in the Hart Park House Senior Center. 

TAX ASSISTANCE – Wednesday, 1:00 pm-2:00 pm, Hart Park HouseBeginning February 2nd – April 6th, Don Brunner is available for income tax consultation. 
Appointments are required: Please call 626-355-5278 x704. 

CHAIR YOGA - Every Monday and Wednesday, 10-10:45 am, Hart Park HousePlease join us for some gentle stretching, yoga, balance exercise and overall relaxation with 
Paul. Classes are ongoing. 

HULA AND POLYNESIAN DANCING – every Friday, 10-10:45 am, Hart Park HouseBring a lei, your flower skirt or just your desire to dance! Hula in the park is back and waiting 
for you to join the fun. 

SENIOR CINEMA – Wednesday 1/12 and 1/26 beginning at 1:00 pm, Hart Park House 

CRUELLA, PG-13 2h14m 


For more information please call 
Lawren Heinz at 626-355-5278 or email 


A Weekly Religion Column by Rev. James Snyder 


To be honest, I don't always hear what I'm supposed to hear. I do have ears, 
but sometimes they are not working in such a way as to benefit me. 

Often, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage will talk to me about something, 
and then at the end of that, she will ask me a question of which I have no idea what the 
answer would be. I did hear her talking; I just did not hear what she was saying.
That's why I say, "Yes, dear," to knock her off her game, thinking that I heard what she said.
Often, when I come home, as soon as I come through the door, she will say, "Did you stop 
and get what I told you to get at the grocery store?" 

Now I'm in a situation where I have to explain why I didn't stop and get what she wanted 
me to get. I cannot let her know that I did not hear her say that nor that I did not remember 
what she said. So that, as you well know, gets me into some very serious problems, problems 
that I certainly do not want to deal with on any day of the week. 

I must confess that when anybody, not just my wife, is talking to me, I'm not 100% on target. 
So I can get the gist of what you're saying but I'm thinking of something else or, I'm thinking 
of the answer I'm going to give as soon as you stop talking. However, with the wife, it is an 
entirely different situation. Not only do I need to hear what she is saying, but I also need to 
understand what she is saying. That is perhaps the most challenging aspect of listening. I can 
hear, but I don't always understand what I am hearing. 

It's not that I am mentally challenged, but I just don't go through the proper thought process 
to the point of understanding. And when a wife is talking to her husband, that thought process 
is greatly challenged, if you know what I mean? Frequently she will say, "Are you paying 
attention to me?" One time, and only once, I said, "I'm too poor to pay attention."
That didn't get me very far in that situation. I think of it many times, but I don't speak it.
Paying attention is very expensive in many regards, but not paying attention is much more 

I've been trying to save up some money recently so I can afford to pay attention to more 
things she is saying. I've researched this and discovered why I have this problem. According 
to my research, the average woman speaks 20,000 words a day while the average man only 
speaks 7000 words a day. I'm not sure where they come up with those figures but I think it's 
pretty close to the real thing. 

I know the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage speaks more than 20,000 words a day, but I 
can only handle 7000 words. That means two-thirds of what she says I do not hear, which 
explains why I get in trouble most of the time. 

There has to be a way in which she can come down with her speaking, and I can come up 
with my hearing. I'm not quite sure how this would work, but I'm thinking about it.
In my thinking about this, I thought maybe it would be a good idea if the politicians would 
pass a law limiting how many words a person can speak each day. Then, as I was thinking 
about this, politicians say ten times more words than anybody in the world. So there is no 
way they would do anything to curb the speaking in our country. 

The only qualification for politicians is that they can speak faster than they can think. But, of 
course, the big challenge would be to find a politician who can actually think.
Then something happened recently that caught me off guard. I'm not sure exactly what was 
going on or what the situation was that my wife was speaking in. I couldn't keep up with 
every word, but I heard it, and at the end of her little speech, these traumatizing words, "You 
are right." 

I've never heard such language from her all the time we've been married. I can't remember 
what she was talking about at the time. I'm a little hesitant about asking her what I was right 
on that I have been tempted lately to ask her that question.
It would mean the world to me if I knew exactly what she thought I was right about. I'm sure 
that would change my whole life in one way or another. Because if she thinks I'm right about 
something, it must be true. 

Lately, I've been trying to listen more intently to see if I can find out what I was right about 
according to her understanding. So far, I've not been too successful hearing anything along 
that line. It could've been a once-in-a-lifetime comment that will never happen again.
I remember a verse of Scripture that helps me understand this. "Behold, how good and how 
pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" (Psalm 133:1).
For me, the basis of unity is listening and hearing what the other person is saying. But, as 
hard as it might be, it's an essential part of unity in any relationship. 

Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, Ocala, FL 34483, where he 
lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@ Website is 

Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 
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