Mountain Views News, Combined Edition Saturday, July 16, 2022

1212 Mountain View News Saturday, July 16, 2022 OPINIONOPINION 1212 Mountain View News Saturday, July 16, 2022 OPINIONOPINION 
MOUNTAIN 

VIEWS 

NEWS 

PUBLISHER/ EDITOR

Susan Henderson 

PASADENA CITY 
EDITOR 

Dean Lee 

PRODUCTION 

SALES 

Patricia Colonello 
626-355-2737 
626-818-2698 

WEBMASTER 

John Aveny 

DISTRIBUTION 

Peter Lamendola 

CONTRIBUTORS 

Stuart Tolchin 
Audrey SwansonMeghan MalooleyMary Lou CaldwellKevin McGuire 
Chris Leclerc 
Bob Eklund 
Howard HaysPaul CarpenterKim Clymer-KelleyChristopher NyergesPeter Dills 
Rich Johnson 
Lori Ann Harris 
Rev. James SnyderKatie HopkinsDeanne Davis 
Despina ArouzmanJeff Brown 
Marc Garlett 
Keely TotenDan Golden 
Rebecca WrightHail Hamilton 
Joan Schmidt 
LaQuetta Shamblee 

Mountain Views News 
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Madre, California, 91024.
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PUT THE LIGHTS ON

STUART TOLCHIN 



HAPPY BIRTHS 

I know there are some of you out there who are absolutely 
sick of my columns that continually mention my granddaughter. 
Well, too bad for you! In this article I intend to emphasize 
the great joy of being around little toddlers when you 
don’t have the responsibility of being the primary caretaker. 
As the embroidered pillow lying upon our downstairs couch 
proclaims; “HAD I KNOWN GRANDCHILDREN WERE SO 
MUCH FUN, I’D HAVE HAD THEM FIRST”. Strangely, my 
wife seems to have acquired this pillow from the home of a 
recently deceased uncle of a friend of hers, but that may well be 
another story. 

The point is that toddlers are incredibly fun. In fact, 
even before they are toddling they are often a revelatory experience. One of the most 
profound experiences of my most resent years was those almost sacred moments when 
I peered deeply into the eyes of my six month old granddaughter and she peered deeplyinto my eyes and I had the experience of being completely understood. I read somewhere 
recently that this is a common experience to many, maybe. But I never knew about it. It is 
an experience without words and is probably vital to the survival to the species as a whole. 
As I have heard many say, “if babies were not so damn cute they’d never survive because 
they are such a burden to take care off.” 

Undoubtedly, you’ve heard similar statements but the true point of such statements 
is that as parents we are all involved in such a complicated, fatiguing lifestyle that 
we are diverted from enjoying that which should be the easiest and most natural thingin the world to enjoy. Now for the good news. A neighbor in our canyon has recently 
announced they are due to give birth. As I think of this announcement I recall the Jewish 
tradition of not giving a child a name until it takes its first breath. I have read that this 
tradition is related to the Jewish traditions of mourning for the dead such that it would be 
unduly burdensome to mourn for the death of children at birth or prior to birth. Some 
have argued that this religious belief that the child is not a person until after its healthybirth means that the religion does not consider the unborn child a person. Therefore, it is 
argued in a potential lawsuit that prohibiting the abortion of the unborn interferes with 
the woman’s rights over her own body and is contrary to the tenets of her first amendment 
protected religion. It’s a tough argument but now is not the time to argue it. 

Let me share some pleasurable news with you instead of getting bogged down 
in tortuous legal argument. In one of my previous articles I described the importance 
of family continuity. I provided a copy of the article to my primary doctor who did not 
at that time intend to become a mother. I recognize this feeling as being connected to 
the oft repeated statement of “why would anyone want to bring another person into this 
world? Well happily after reading this article and referring it to her sister, both my doctor 
and her sister have decided to become pregnant. Already I feel like a godfather! 

Other good news. In our little canyon the young couple right across the street 
from us has announced a pregnancy. This canyon, once was filled with couples and their 
children. Now, after the kids have grown and the marriages have broken up, instead filled 
with single inhabitants living alone. Rising rental prices have made it extremely impractical 
for people to relocate. Back to talking about kids. I gain great pleasure in just watching 
the young ones walk along the street. Their enjoyment of their own bodies is wonderful 
to see. They are not trying to impress others or trying to conform or please. They 
are just enjoying their own existence. Okay a quick anecdote about my granddaughter 
who is now almost three. Last week my wife, son, and I took her to the Arboretum where 
peacocks wander around freely. She had never see a peacock and was fascinated by their 
colors and piercing screeches and tried to march after them. Yesterday, about a week later 
my wife showed her pictures of the peacock and all at once we heard come out of her the 
unmistakable perfect screech of a peacock after which she laughed uproariously at her 
own imitation. We also laughed and how wonderful it is during these days of watching 
the January 6th hearings to find something to laugh about and enjoy. Hooray for little 
children! 

PETER FUNT 
MAKE NATIONAL PARKS FREE FOR ALL 


For just one day this summer — and if you’re planning 
a vacation, it’s Thursday, August 4 — entrance fees are 
waived at the 110 national parks that normally charge admission. 
These include top tourist favorites such as the 
Grand Canyon, Yellowstone and Zion National Park, each 
of which collects $35 per vehicle or $20 per pedestrian. 

With so many Americans eager for post-pandemic travel, 
but with gasoline prices damnably high, wouldn’t this be a 
great time to give citizens free access to the parks that theydo, after all, own? And not just on one weekday in August, 
but all summer long? 
To be clear, the nation’s national parks need all the money 
they can get. Most locations have what the Parks Service calls an “extensive maintenance 
backlog,” with repairs and upgrades deferred year after year. The annual budget 
for all 423 park properties is a modest $3.5 billion — and the contribution from entrance 
fees is a pittance, totaling less than $250 million a year. 

Visits to national parks fell slightly during the pandemic, but are expected to surge 
this summer. While $35 per car doesn’t seem like a lot, it’s a regressive fee whose 
greatest impact is on those least able to afford it. Waiving admission these fees — at 
least during this period of economic, medical and emotional stress — would boost 
Americans’ spirits while also stimulating business. 

New government figures indicate that in 2021 park visitors spent $20.5 billion in 
communities within 60 miles of the venues. The lodging sector gained $7 billion 
while restaurant operators took in $4.2 billion. It’s estimated that these expenditures 
directly supported a total of 190,700 full and part-time jobs. 

Not surprisingly, half of all visits to national parks occur at the 25 most popular locations, 
and that’s where the highest admission prices are charged — with one notable 
exception. 

The most popular national park, according to 2021 statistics, is Great Smoky Mountains 
National Park, stretching through portions of Tennessee and North Carolina, 
with just over 14 million admissions last year. Yet, this spectacular park charges no 
entry fee — not because the Parks Service doesn’t want to, but because a tangle of 
local and federal laws prohibits it. The facility manages just fine, contributing $1.3billion to the local economy. 

This would seem to confirm the eagerness of Americans to visit a major park if no 
fee is required. When fees are charged, attendance drops dramatically. The next most 
popular location is Zion National Park in southwest Utah, which had roughly 5 million 
admissions last year. 

Admission to all national parks is free for active U.S. military and their dependents 
as well as for veterans. 

Fees are also waived for the disabled. Seniors over age 62 can purchase a $20 annual 
pass or an $80 lifetime pass and, in an interesting educational program, all fourth 
grade students may enter for free. For the rest of us, the best deal is an $80 annual 
pass. 

There are only five fully free days each year. In 2022 the dates are Jan. 17 (MLK Day);
April 16 (the start of National Park Week); Aug. 4 (anniversary of the Great American 
Outdoors Act); Sept. 24 (National Public Lands Day), and Nov. 11 (Veterans Day). 

I find visiting National Parks not only breathtaking but also inspirational. If we really 
want people to love and appreciate our country, making it easier for them to visit its 
vast natural treasures seems like a no-brainer. 

The tab for annual free admissions would be under $250 million. By way of comparison: 
This year the federal government is spending $250 million on something called 
The Restoring Brand USA Act. Its goal is to attract international visitors and support 
local tourism businesses. Sounds like a nifty program. 

But I can’t think of a better way to spend that $250 million than by throwing open the 
gates at our national parks and saying, “Come on in. This land is your land.” 

Peter Funt’s new memoir, “Self-Amused,” is now available at CandidCamera.com. 


RICH & 
FAMOUS 

APHORISMS, 
IFFERISMS,
MALAPROPISMS 
AND YOGI BERRA 

An aphorism: A pithy observation that contains a truth. 
An “ifferism” is simply an aphorism that begins with the word “if ”. 
“If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.” 
Sam Levinson 


“If life were fair, Elvis would be alive, and all the impersonators would be 
dead.” Johnny Carson 
“If I had a hammer, I’d use it on Peter, Paul and Mary.” 

Howard Rosenberg 

“If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine 
Floor.” Neil Simon 
“If you don’t think too good, don’t think too much.” Ted Williams 
“If you think a quarter horse is that ride in front of Kmart, you may be a 

redneck. Jeff Foxworth 
“If it tastes good, then it’s bad for you.” Isaac Asimov 
Not all aphorisms or ifferisms are meant to be funny. Some are meant to 

convey a truth, sometimes profound truth: 

“If you’re not fired with enthusiasm, you’ll be fired with enthusiasm.” 
Vince Lombardi 
“If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do 

have a problem” Richard Bach 
“If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.” Napoleon Hill 
“If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” 

African Proverb 

“If man no longer had enemies, he would have to invent them, for his 
strength only grows through struggle.” Louis L’Amour 
“If there’s nobody in your way, it’s because you’re not going anywhere.” 

Robert F. Kennedy 
Now back to funny aphorisms: 
“If you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee?” Lady Astor to 

Winston Churchill 

“If you were my wife, Nancy, I would drink it.” Winston Churchill to LadyAstor 
Finally, there’s Yogi Berra, famous catcher for the New York Yankees and 

the King of Berra-isms, (colloquial expressions that lack logic). As matter 
of fact, Yogi said “I never said most of the thing I said.” I’ll end this 
column with Berra-isms. 

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it.” Yogi Berra 
“It ain’t over till it’s over.” Yogi Berra 
“No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.” Yogi Berra 
“Never answer an anonymous letter.” Yogi Berra 
“The future ain’t what it used to be.” Yogi Berra 
“Why buy good luggage, you only use it when you travel.” Yogi Berra 
“I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school 

like I did.” Yogi Berra 

“If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s gonna stop 
them.” Yogi Berra 
Dr. Mardy Grothe, a very clever fellow, has written several books. One 

of which I own and cherish, entitled “Ifferisms”. A good number of the 
preceding “ifferisms” were mined from his literary masterpiece. My final 
aphorisms? 

“If you want to be the life of your next party, pick up and peruse a copy of 
‘Ifferisms’.” Rich Johnson 

“If possible, have a great week.” Rich Johnson 

Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 
Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com