pA:14, v17.22 — Opinion — Mountain Views News

Opinion

Mountain Views News, Combined Edition Saturday, June 3, 2023

MVNews this week: Page A:14

LOST INSPIRATION

OPINION

Mountain View News Saturday, June 3, 2023

RICH JOHNSON

NOW THAT’S
RICH

DINAH CHONG WATKINS

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
OF THE WRONG KIND

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Dinah Chong Watkins

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LaQuetta Shamblee

STUART TOLCHIN

PUT THE LIGHTS ON

FATHER'S DAY IS
JUST AROUND
THE BEND!

Range Rover

Previously I wrote about my annual
summer family road trip. It
was the era of leaded gas, rest stop
motels with 25 cent vibrating beds,
AM radios, paper maps and most
significantly - no cell phones. License
plate bingo and “I Spy” games was how we got
through those seven hour stretches with the obligatory
wail of 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall. We’d usually
stop once or twice - fill up on gas, candy and behold
the “World’s Largest Pistachio/Pickle/Brontosaurus
etc…” at those jerry-built, sunburnt, souvenir stands.

It was a time of togetherness, we had to as a family
work as a team. With a navigator who could read
maps, a spotter who would call out the road signs,
and sturdy bladders that squeezed it in until the next
break. It was quaint, it was comfortable, it was as the
forests, lakes and canyons we drove by - majestic.

Elon Musk threw a wrench into all that. My muse
and I recently took a trip up the coast in a rented all-
electric Tesla. It added a new word to our vocabulary -
Range Anxiety. From the outside the car was no great
shakes, a bulbous spawn borne of a Japanese sedan
and a Mexican VW Beetle. The Tesla chrome plated
logo, mounted on the trunk disarmingly resembled
a contraceptive intrauterine device, odd in light of
the many children Musk has sired. But once you’re in
the driver’s seat the vehicle has an unexpected surprise
- like finding a lump of coal in your Christmas
stocking.

There are no buttons, knobs or switches on a Tesla,
just an IMAX size screen that controls every known
function of the car. If you’re sitting at your desk having
your morning cup of coffee, this design seems
quite workable but speeding down a six lane freeway
at 80 miles an hour, well - hope you can scroll to the
right page to find the wiper function before you rear
end that Walmart tractor trailer.

We have a “vintage” Toyota Corolla. On a full tank of
gas, we can eke out 300 miles from it. Our destination
was just short of 450 miles. In the Toyota we could do
the trip with one refuel/potty stop with a cornucopia
of gas stations along the way. But we were in the Tesla
which had a range of only 220 miles. We could’ve
upgraded to the model that topped 330 miles but the
muse thought the extra $5 was a con, like adding SiriusXM
to the rental package.

Much like Gilligan's 3 hour cruise turned into 3 years
on prime time television, our planned 6 hour drive
turned into 7+ hours of driving, charging and recharging
the Tesla. Not only were the charging stations
sparsely located but the stations like the car,
were the IKEA minimalist of road stops. No BBQ
joints, platter-sized pancakes, not even a coffee hut,
which in retrospect may be for the better as the charging
stations only provided Port-A-Potties (and all the
women said “Yuck!”).

I’m truly onboard for a cleaner, sustainable environment
and if electric is the pathway forward let’s go
for it, but please - keep the 2 story tall Supercolossal
Donut.

Dinah Chong Watkins column appears every 1st and
3rd Saturday of the month.

Yesterday my wife was struggling
with the crossword puzzle and
asked me what three letter word fit
into the clue Ich bin --- Berliner.
Well I’m a little older than she is and
I well remember President Kennedy’s
quote from almost sixty years ago
“ich bin ein Berliner”. It was elegant and inspiring and
probably one of the best-known speeches of the Cold War
and among the most famous anti-communist speeches. In
case you weren’t around then and are not familiar with the
speech it was given in West Berlin Germany. At that time
the city of Berlin was divided into two sections. There were
great differences between the sections which were divided
into two physically and ideologically contrasting zones. A
wall was built by the Russians who controlled East Berlin
which served the objective of stemming mass defections
from East to West. Great hardships resulted to the people
of Berlin. The wall divided families who found themselves
unable to visit each other. Many East Berliners were cut off
from their jobs. There was great suffering within the city
and all Berliners felt that they had been abandoned by the
allies. President Kennedy’s speech given in June of 1963
proclaiming that we were all Berliners and shared their
pain reached into the hearts and minds of the world. It
was elegant and inspirational.

The entire Presidency of JFK contained such moments
of elegance and inspiration. Many of us recall his
directive to “Ask not what your Country can do for you but
what you can do for your country.” This inaugural address
inspired children and adults to see the importance of civic
action and public service. So what happened to that feeling?
Unarguably, it has become obscured since the time of
JFK’s assassination on November 22, 1963.

After his assassination there was, and remains,
all kinds of speculation as to who was responsible and the
whole government was tainted. His successor, Lyndon
Johnson may have been a more effective politician than
JFK but he was a Texan who was known for bawdy behavior
like leaving the door open when he went to the bathroom.
Johnson chose not to run for re-election in 1968
and everything seemed to fall apart. JFK’s younger brother
Bobby, also an educated elegant poetry quoting Harvard
graduate was an inspiring figure but was assassinated at
the Coconut Grove here in Los Angeles just after winning
the California Democratic Primary. After that the 1968
Democratic Presidential convention held in Chicago was
a mass of protests brutally policed by Mayor Richard Daley,
hardly an inspiring figure. The eventual Democratic
nominee who went on to be defeated by Richard Nixon
was LBJ’s VP, a nice enough-man Hubert Humphrey; but
a Midwestern Pharmacist, hardly an inspiring character.
He was defeated by Richard Nixon, whose most memorable
public-quotation was “I am not a crook.” He was later
forced to resign. Nixon’s Vice-President, Spiro T. Agnew,
resigned even before Nixon after it was revealed that he
was receiving kickbacks while in office. So much for inspiration
and elegance. Yes, Ronald Reagan was in the movies
but was never even a leading man although he did ask Mr.
Gorbachev to “tear down that wall.” Jimmy Carter was a
wonderful ex-President but as a President is remembered
more as a peanut farmer. Bill Clinton was a bright guy
who will always be associated with his affairs with young
interns. I am sure you see my point. Joe Biden, is not bad
for an ex-stuttering old guy but really cannot be called elegant
or inspirational. I just hope he can remain effective.
Today I long for inspiration and elegance and not just a
box-score of winners and losers. I feel detached from the
whole political process and wish I didn’t. Only fear keeps
me involved and I would like it to be otherwise. Maybe 80
year-old Joe could father a child similarly to Pacino and
De Niro, but really that is not the kind of inspiration I am
looking for.

Okay, guys, we have made it through another
Mother’s Day Cycle. “Phew”! The 24 hour Father’s
Day cycle begins 12:01am Sunday morning,
June 18th, and ends at 12:00 am sharp Monday,
June 19th.

More importantly… the 2024 Mother's Day Season
begins precisely at 12:01am, Monday, June
19th 2023, concluding 11 months later at the end
of Mother’s Day, Monday, May 12, 2024.

It’s important to understand the distinction between
Mother’s and Father’s Day. Father’s Day is
a 24 hour period of celebration. Mother’s Day is a
11-month sea-son. Write this down. Or there will
be H.E. double hockey sticks to pay.

So, dads annually get 1 day of celebration and
moms get 11 months. The fact is the numbers and
percentages are just about right. Especially when
you factor in who endures the birthing process.
I’m certain, 98% of all moms would do any-thing
if God would transfer the birthing process to the
male of the species. By the way, there is only one
species of animals on the planet where the men
get preg-nant. Seahorses.

How have men been affected by becoming Fathers?
Well, lets take a look:

“I just sit there and make up songs and sing to my
son in gibberish. I’m very good a gibberish now.”
Elton John

“During the sole argument we had when Chelsea
was in high school…,I looked at her and said, ‘As
long as you’re in this house (the White House),
being president is my second most important
job.’” Bill Clinton

“I have found the best way to give advice to your
children is to find out what they want and then
advise them to do it.” Harry S. Truman

“Before I got married I had six theories about
raising children; now, I have six chil-dren and no
theories.” John Wilmot

“The most amazing feeling I feel; words cannot
describe what I’m feeling for real; Maybe I paint
the sky blue; My greatest creation was you.” Jay-Z

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could
give another person: he be-lieved in me.” Coach
Jim Valvano

What would I like to hear from my kids?

“Thanks for acting like a kid when I was a kid,
acting like a friend when I needed a friend, and
acting like a parent when I needed a parent. You
are the best man I know.”

And possibly the greatest words kids can say to
your dad: “I’ll never be too old to need you, Dad.”

So, dads, lets be sure and work overtime earning
what is the most important part of our existence…
being a servant leader to our kids. Lol,
and just a servant to our spouses! We got little
more than 2 weeks until our day!

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