p14, v18.23 — Opinion / Legals — Mountain Views News

Opinion / Legals

Mountain Views News, Combined Edition Saturday, June 8, 2024

MVNews this week: Page 14

OPINIONOPINION

Mountain Views NewsSaturday, June 8, 2024

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Joan Schmidt

LaQuetta ShambleE

RICH JOHNSON NOW THAT’S RICH

STUART TOLCHIN

FIRST GRADERS TAKE ON PROVERBS
REVISITED - REVISTED

WHAT MUST WE DO NOW?

I never thought I would see the day. I still have
trouble believing it happened. A Jewish woman with
a Lithuanian grandmother, just like I have, has been
elected President. I bet her grandmother, just like
my own, was forced to hide in basements to escape
the torment of murdering Cossacks. These Jews, all
living in their shtetls a couple of generations ago were not unintelligent
but simply academically uneducated. In fact, my grandmother told
me that she had read the Brothers Karamazov in Russian before she
sneaked into the United States using the name of another person.
I found this a little hard to believe in that she could not even read
English as well as I could, and I was only seven years old.

There was a lot I did not understand then which became clearer when
I saw the movie Fiddler On The Roof about fifteen years later. The
film depicted the lives of Jews in their shtetls (a word depicting most
of our origins) living in what is now the fiercely embattled Ukraine
Nation. Speaking of Fiddler on the Roof I bet that you don’t know
the birth name of the artist who painted the picture of the “Fiddler
on the Roof” from which the movie derived its name. If you are at all
educated you probably think his name was Marc Chagall, some sort
of French Impressionist. Well, you should know his actual birth name
was Moishe Segal which, according to Wikipedia, he changed because
it sounded more French and would make his work more likely to be
accepted. You should not be surprised that Jews changed their names
to gain acceptance. For example, are you aware that the birth name
of Rodney Dangerfield was Jacob Cohen, or that Mel Brooks was born
as Melvin Kaminsky. The list is endless and the reason for the name
changes should not be forgotten.

Speaking of other things I didn’t know, let us get back to the Jewish
woman who was elected President on Sunday. Like me she studied
at Berkely for four years and is undoubtedly smarter than both my
grandmother and me. She obtained her Ph.D. in Energy Engineering
and is a physicist who was part of a United Nations panel of climate
scientists that received a Nobel Prize in 2007. She is Claudia Sheinbaum
(which means pretty tree in Yiddish I believe), the former Mayor of
Mexico City, elected President of our neighbor to the South, Mexico
just yesterday. Are you aware of this amazing occurrence? Frankly, I
had not heard of this woman until her name popped up on my iPhone
the day before her election.

What conclusion do I draw from my ignorance? Mainly that
American news is so focused on the travails and adventures of our Ex
President, (whose name I would rather not mention) that the general
population, including me, knows little else about the world. For
example, do many of us understand why the Israeli President (whose
name I would also rather not mention) asserts that the complete
elimination of Hamas and its ideology is necessary to ensure the
survival of Israel. He advocates the continual murdering of human
beings as the only way of reaching this result. To me, it seems crazy!
Ideologies differ from humans. They may, in time, disappear but
cannot be murdered.

Also seeming crazy to me is the present student- anger directed
at Israel for daring to colonize and attempt to remove the prior
inhabitants of Gaza. Have these students forgotten that this very
continent on which they so comfortably live was made this way by what
was basically the genocide of the prior Native-American inhabitants.
(You know; they were mistakenly and ignorantly called Indians).

Somehow, my ignorance regarding Claudia Sheinbaum makes me
uncomfortably aware of my ignorance not only of the present but also
regarding the future. Do you feel the same way and if you do what can
we do about it? It’s too late to reestablish Israel in an uninhabited area
wherein simple shtetls, not impinging on anyone, could be constructed.
We do owe something to our children and future generations and
what's done is done; but WHAT MUST WE DO NOW?

Possibly my best
column based on
audience reaction
is this column I am
about to reprint. First
published here in 2011,
I republished it in 2021. And was invited
to pass it along again.

Here is the column:

“Several years ago I decided to conduct
an experiment with the first grade class
where my son and daughter, Alex and
Olivia respectively, were going to school.

Here was my assignment: Recite the first
half of a proverb to the class and invite
the first graders fill in the rest. Who
knew where it might go? (By the way,
a proverb is defined as: “a short pithy
saying in general use, stating a general
truth or piece of advice.”)

First Grade Proverbs: I will recite the
actual proverbs followed by the student’s
response. You have to trust me when I
say, these were the actual comments by
this pedagogic experiment. Please try to
apply these timeless truths to your own
life.

The actual proverbs:

Better to be safe than sorry!

Better to be safe than punch a 5th grader!

Strike while the iron is hot!

Strike while the .bug is close!

It’s always darkest before the dawn!

It’s always darkest before daylight savings
time!

Never underestimate the power of a woman!

Never underestimate the power of termites!

Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!

Don’t bite the hand that looks dirty!

A miss is as good as a mile.!

A miss is as good as a mr.!

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks!

You can’t teach an old dog math!

If you lie down with dogs, you .get up with
fleas!

If you lie down with dogs, you will stink in
the morning!

Love all, but trust a few!

Love all, but trust me!

An idle mind is...the devil’s plaything!

An idle mind is the best way to relax!

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!

Where there’s smoke, there’s pollution!

A penny saved is a penny earned!

A penny saved is not much!

Two is company, three’s a crowd!

Two is company, three’s the musketeers!

Children should be seen and not heard!

Children should be seen and not spanked
or grounded!

If at first you don’t succeed try, try again!

If at first you don’t succeed get new
batteries!

You get out of something what you put into
it!

You get out of something what you see
pictured on the box!

When the blind lead the blind

When the blind lead the blind both shall
fall into a ditch!

Some deep questions worth pondering for
even deeper meaning.

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it
sounds?

Have you ever imagined a world with no
hypothetical situations?

How does the snowplow driver get to work
on snowy days?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of
her nose?

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they
make Teflon stick to the pan?

Why do they put Braille dots on the
keypad at the drive up ATMs?

Why are there flotation devices under
airplane seats and not parachutes?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on
driveways?”

My rock and roll band, JJ Jukebox, will
be performing Saturday evening July 6
at Nano Café here in Sierra Madre. If
you like 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s fun rock
and roll, you might enjoy us. You will
enjoy the food, drinks, dancing and
camaraderie. Our concerts are always
6:30-9:30pm. Nano’s is at 322 W. Sierra
Madre Blvd, Phone number is (626)
325-3334.

Thank you again for all your kind
support. If you have an issue or category
you want analyzed through my dubious
perspective, please let me know. Rich@
versatape.com.

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