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OPINIONOPINION

Mountain Views-News Saturday, May 25, 2024 

PUT THE LIGHTS ON

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Dean Lee 

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LaQuetta ShambleE

STUART TOLCHIN

RICH JOHNSON NOW THAT’S RICH


BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN

Well, almost. A young lawyer friend asked me to consult 
with him on a Wrongful Death case he was defending. 
Frankly, I was flattered to think that someone thought 
I actually had something to contribute so I said, “Sure. 
Glad to do it". Consequently, last week he personally gave 
me many pages of the motions he had filed and later 
e-mailed me more pages. With my wife’s help I managed 
to download everything and then print it and spent more than a few hours 
reading everything.

This week there were eight motions to be heard and I read them with interest. 
Over the last year it has become difficult for me to focus suffiently to read 
anything of much length; but this was different. It was like reading a detective 
novel wherein I could really talk to the principals. My friend’s client had already 
been in custody for almost four years without any allegation that she intended 
to cause anyone any harm. She was charged under a kind of strict liability 
statute with supplying illegal drugs to someone who allegedly died after taking 
drugs she had allegedly supplied.

From my point of view, these types of statutes should be passed and applied to 
people who provide weapons to people rather than to people who are simply 
involved in what is most often used for simple recreational activity. Well, that’s 
today’s America. Drugs are bad but guns are fine. I hope you agree that this 
seems crazy. Anyway, on Monday my wife drove me to a restaurant where I was 
to meet my friend at 7: AM. 

Accordingly, on Monday I got ready to meet my friend at 7 and then be his 
passenger as we drove downtown to Federal Court. For the first time in years, 
I put on Lawyer clothes struggling with suspenders, tying a tie, and putting on 
actual acceptable hard shoes for the first time in years. 

Concurrent with my various medical problems my legs and ankles have swollen 
but with significant effort I stuffed my feet into the shoes and timely met my 
friend. My friend drove me to downtown Los Angeles where his case was being 
heard in Federal Court and I found the area absolutely unrecognizable. In the 
years since my retirement the area has completely changed. Huge buildings, 
such as the Federal Court Building, now exist that were never there before. 
First let me tell you about my difficulties in just being admitted into the Federal 
|Courthouse. 

Much like taking a flight, it was necessary to take off my shoes. Taking them 
off and putting them back on was difficult enough but I had to go through the 
process a second time because I had forgotten to remove my watch—who knew?

The Court proceedings themselves were remarkable. Eight separate motions 
had been filed including motions questioning the Constitutionality of the 
Statutes. There were now three added Defendants and the Court’s time had 
been mainly concerned with scheduling as the various lawyers had already 
scheduled European vacations and such. 

Meanwhile my friend’s client, who has already been identified as “autistic,” kept 
grabbing the microphone trying to talk directly to the Judge and explain that 
she was being prevented from starting her own family. The Judge explained to 
her that she was not allowed to speak, and her concerns had to be presented by 
her lawyer. She then grabbed the microphone and told the Judge that she did 
not really want a lawyer. The Judge assured her that my friend was a wonderful 
lawyer which brought an appreciative look from my friend’s wife who was 
seated next to me in the audience.

Well, my friend and the other lawyers lost all their motions; but it was explained 
to me that this was expected. The process was about educating the Judge as to 
what was involved. It was quite a day and I believe I contributed some insights. 
I was glad to be involved on the periphery; but, really, was extremely glad that I 
was retired. I realized that it was much less stressful to just talk about the case 
and make contributions rather than having the responsibility to do much more. 

Being old really ain’t so bad. Who needs drugs?


EXCUSES. EXCUSES. EXCUSES

Excuses help separate 
us from the rest of the 
animal kingdom. The 
animal kingdom, on 
the other hand, does 
not, to my knowledge, 
ever engage in the use 
of excuses. For example, to date, my two 
cats, Gizmo and Mabel have never offered 
up an excuse, let alone an apology for 
shredding the arms of our sofa with their 
rapier sharp claws.

 

Gizmo and Mabel, after committing a 
treasonous offense saunter up, rub against 
my arm, start purring and all is forgiven. 
We can’t purr so we need a alternative set 
of excuses.

 

Good excuses prevent hurt feelings or 
further conflicts. Or so says Andrew 
Frothingham and Tripp Evans, authors of 
“Creative Excuses for Every Occasion”.

 

Be thankful you’re not famous. Famous 
people who got caught in stupid excuses 
often carry that reputation for the rest of 
their lives. Here are a few examples.

 

Winona Ryder. In 2001 Ms. Ryder was 
arrested for stealing $$$ worth of clothes at 
Saks Fifth Avenue in Los Angeles. She told 
the judge she was getting in character for a 
role as a kleptomaniac. She wanted to know 
what it felt like. She found out.

 

Singer Iggy Azalea unexpectedly cancelled 
a major concert tour in 2015 blaming it on 
having a “creative change of heart” and 
growing tired of her own music.

 

The mayor of Toronto, Canada, Rob Ford 
when asked under oath if he smoked crack 
cocaine admitted he did. But it wasn’t 
his fault as he was in one of his drunken 
stupors when he used the illegal substance.

 

Stephen King decided to stop publishing 
books in 1999. “I’ve killed enough of the 
world’s trees” said Mr. King. Fortunately 
for fans, he resumed killing trees a few 
years later.

 

In my quest to minimize conflict in the 
lives of my readers, I would like to, with the 
help of Frothingham and Evans, help us 
all build an arsenal of brilliant and useable 
excuses.

 

So here are some hopefully more creative 
excuses. Occasionally pets are to blame. 
In fact, this is my second attempt at this 
column as my dog ate the first draft of this 
article.

 

Circumstance: Arriving Late to Work

Lame excuse: “My car wouldn’t start. My 
watch stopped.”

Creative excuse: “Coming after rush hour 
traffic is the environmental thing to do. 
Better gas mileage.”

 

Circumstance: Getting Fired Lame excuse: 
“My boss was stealing my ideas and I 
caught him at it. Creative excuse: “They 
were all threatened by my competence and 
honesty.”

 

Circumstance: I’m Unable to Attend an 
Event Creative excuse: “I never go out 
when Mercury is retrograde.” (Mercury 
retrograde hits August 4)

 

Circumstance: You’re Late to an Event

Creative excuse: “My “inner child” was 
dawdling.” Creative excuse: “My car was 
stolen, used in a robbery and impounded.”

 

Circumstance: Declining or Breaking a Date 
Creative excuse: “I’d have to get permission 
from my psychiatrist first.”

 

Circumstance: Not Getting Married

Creative excuse: “The words “I do”, sound 
too much like ‘doo-doo’.” 

Puppy Excuse: “Our dogs don’t get along”.

 

Circumstance: Speeding

Creative excuse: “I feel safer when I’m out 
in front of traffic.”

Creative excuse: “I had to escape the 
Klingons.”

 

Circumstance: Not Returning a Phone Call 
Creative excuse: “I’m expecting a call from 
the terrorists holding my brother hostage.”

 

Circumstance: Leaving theToilet Seat Up

Creative excuse: “In my native land, we 
don’t have toilet seats. We just squat.”

Puppy Excuse: “When you gotta go, you 
gotta go.”

 

Circumstance: Not Voting

Creative excuse: “If I vote, they’ll have my 
name and call me for jury duty.”

 

Circumstance: Not Paying a Bill

Creative excuse: “Who am I? I must have 
amnesia.”

 

Circumstance: On Being Bald

Creative excuse: “I’m not bald. My head is 
covered with a customized solar panel.”

Circumstance: Cheating on Taxes

Creative excuse: “The government can’t 
have my money. They spend hundreds for 
one hammer.”

 

Circumstance: Stealing

Creative excuse: “This isn’t for me. It’s for 
the poor. I’m Robin Hood.”

 

Circumstance: Not Inviting Someone to a 
Party

Creative excuse: “If he came to the party, 
who would we talk about?”

 

I recommend doing a google search for 
the difference between an excuse and a 
reason. The differences may seem subtle 
but if you put your thinking cap on, you 
will ultimately discover the advantages to 
be driven by reasons rather than excuses.

 

I leave it to your keen minds. Thanks for 
reading.

Mountain Views News 
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MICHAEL REAGAN


We can argue forever 
about left-right 
politics and why the 
country is going to 
ruin.

But it is Memorial 
Day weekend.

Let’s forget the 
endless political 
warfare being waged in Washington, D.C.

It’s time to honor and mourn all the American military men and women who 
died while serving in the United States armed forces. They are the ones whose 
sacrifices made it possible for us to debate and bicker so freely. They are the 
heroes who fought in the battles that allow us to be the great country we are 
today.

And it is on this weekend that we really need to remember them and thank 
them for paying the ultimate price to keep us free.

I know many heroic war stories. As I wrote recently, I learned them on any 
given Saturday morning while sitting in the right-front seat of a station wagon 
as my father drove me to his Malibu ranch.

My father never forgot our fallen military heroes and he knew how to honor 
them with beautiful words and powerful deeds.

Forty years ago he was the first president to go to the coast of Normandy to 
commemorate the Americans who landed on the beaches of France in 1944 on 
D-Day and helped “to free a continent.”

In his speech to World War II veterans on June 6, 1984, he called “the boys of 
Pointe du Hoc” who so bravely “took the cliffs” from the Germans “champions” 
and said they knew why they were fighting.

“You all knew that some things are worth dying for,” he said.

“One’s country is worth dying for, and democracy is worth dying for, because 
it’s the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man. All of 
you loved liberty. All of you were willing to fight tyranny …”

It’s fitting that “champions” from all our wars will be honored this weekend at 
the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley.

But you don’t have to be a president to pay your respects to the Americans who 
fought and died in World War II or in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq or Afghanistan.

You can do what my son Cameron does every year – make this weekend a 
history lesson for your family.

Take your kids to a cemetery on Memorial Day. Look at gravesites flying 
American flags. Explain who the soldiers and sailors were and where they 
fought and died.

Do some research on Google and find the story of a local Medal of Honor 
recipient from “the Greatest Generation” and tell your kids of his bravery.

And don’t forget those sons and daughters who died in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Even if you disagree 100 percent with the war they were sent overseas by 
politicians to fight in, it was their call to duty and they took the oath.

People always ask me what they can do year-round to honor the current 
generation of men and women in uniform.

I tell them that if you walk into a restaurant and see a member of the military, 
buy them lunch or dinner and say “thank you.”

When I’m flying, because I fly in business first class, if I see a military guy get 
on the plane, many times I stand up and say, “Hey, thank you. You sit here and 
give me your ticket.”

As my father taught me, and as my son teaches his kids, it’s really not that hard 
to honor or thank America’s champions.


Mountain Views News

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Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com