Mountain Views News          Saturday, January 31, 2015

15

OPINION 

Mountain Views-News Saturday, January 31, 2015 

Mountain 
Views

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Kim Clymer-Kelley

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Peter Dills 

Dr. Tina Paul

Rich Johnson

Merri Jill Finstrom

Lori Koop

Rev. James Snyder

Tina Paul

Mary Carney

Katie Hopkins

Deanne Davis

Despina Arouzman

Greg Welborn

Renee Quenell

Ben Show

Sean Kayden

Marc Garlett


OUT TO PASTOR 

A Weekly Religion Column by Rev. James Snyder

FOR SALE: ONE LYING BATHROOM MIRROR

Nobody enjoys 
privacy more than 
Yours Truly. I 
confess I am not 
a very happy camper when that privacy 
is compromised in any fashion. Recently, 
I endured a tremendous trespass on my 
privacy.

 One day last week, I got up as usual 
and tottered off to the bathroom for my 
accustomed bathroom routine. It was then 
I got the shock of my life of which I am not 
over as of yet. I am sure this experience will 
be with me many years down the road. I am 
not sure I need counseling, but maybe a day 
or two at a rehab center just might do the 
trick.

 I confess that I am not at my best early in 
the morning prior to my bathroom ritual. 
As far as I am concerned, the bathroom 
is a sacred place of refuge before facing 
the world. It is a place where I can prepare 
myself to meet the world as well as prepare 
for the world to meet me. It would be a great 
travesty for me to plunge myself out into the 
unsuspecting world before going into my 
bathroom and making certain preparations. 
I owe the world at least this.

 Of course, with all the political nonsense 
the world has imposed upon me lately, I am 
tempted to thrust myself out into the world 
without any preparations whatsoever. That 
would teach the world to mess with me. 
On second thought, too many innocent 
bystanders would get hurt in the process. 

 On the day in question, not only was 
I unprepared to meet the world but I 
was unprepared to meet my bathroom. 
Looking back on the situation, I do vaguely 
remember the Gracious Mistress of the 
Parsonage mentioning something to the 
fact that she made certain changes in my 
bathroom. Obviously, I was preoccupied 
with other things to be concerned about this 
wee bit of information she laid upon me at 
the time. I simply assumed she was talking 
about waxing the floor or changing the 
shower curtain. Never in my wildest dreams 
did I think she would do anything as drastic 
as she did.

 This brings me to an important point; 
never underestimate the damage a wife can 
do to the sacred places of her husband.

 When I walked into my bathroom and 
switched on the light, I had the shock of my 
life. I looked in the mirror, as normal and 
looking back at me was the most frightful 
thing I have ever seen. I thought for a 
moment Stephen King had sabotaged my 
bathroom.

 The face looking back at me was old and 
haggard, desperately needing a shave. The 
bags under his eyes looked like sacks of 
potatoes and what little hair he had looked 
like the aftermath of a suicide bomber. 
I wanted to call the police, but I was too 
paralyzed with fear.

 I must have yelled or something because 
my wife came running into the bathroom 
and asked, “What’s wrong?”

 Then she did something that infuriated 
me even more than I was at the time. 

 She laughed.

 I do not mind people laughing when I tell 
a joke or a funny story. However, when I have 
just been frightened out of my mind, I do 
not appreciate the levity. Then she explained 
to me what had happened. My wife took it 
upon herself to replace the mirror in my 
bathroom.

 For a fleeting moment, murderous 
thoughts stomped through my mind. 
Fortunately, for me they were still wearing 
their bedroom slippers and not their 
marching boots.

 I do not look forward to very much in 
life, but I do look forward to my mirror in 
my bathroom. I have had that mirror for 
as long as I can remember, which may not 
be a very long time when I come to think 
of it. I vaguely remember hearing my wife 
mentioned the fact that the mirror in my 
bathroom needed to be replaced. I thought 
she was kidding.

 When I get up in the morning, I look 
forward to going into my bathroom mirror. 
I have a little ritual I do upon first glance 
into my mirror. “Mirror, mirror on my wall; 
who needs a shave the worst of all?” Then we 
have a good laugh together.

 I know that my mirror, my old mirror, 
that is, was rather old and flawed and the 
reflection back at me was rather blurry. 
That is what made it so endearing to me. 
No matter how hard you tried to clean it 
the reflection was still very cloudy at best. 
Then, several years ago an accident occurred 
producing a small crack in my mirror. I must 
say it was an improvement I gladly accepted. 
It accommodated my split personality: 
Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes 
I don’t feel anything. One morning I could 
shave on the left side of the crack and the 
next morning I could shave on the right side.

 The thing I loved about my old mirror was 
how it clouded the truth. The new mirror, 
however, is very insistent upon the truth.

 A verse of Scripture came to mind as I 
pondered my old mirror. “For now we see 
through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: 
now I know in part; but then shall I know 
even as also I am known.” (1 Corinthians 
13:12).

 If someone would like a mirror that insists 
on telling the truth, I have one for sale.

 The Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the 
Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, 
Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife, 
Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. Call him 
at 352-687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@
att.net. The church web site is www.
whatafellowship.com.


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LEFT TURN / RIGHT TURN


TINA Dupuy 

MICHAEL Reagan 

Making Sense 

CHOOSING WEED POLICY 
OVER CYBER SECURITY

QUIT WASTING TIME ON 
MOORE, MAHER & DEAN

A cyber attack 
altered your 
holiday movie 
choices last year. Sony Pictures was the 
victim of a massive security breach. 
Personal emails were revealed, films 
pirated and employee data leaked. The 
corporation immediately kowtowed to the 
terrorists, rumored to be North Korean-
sponsored, killing the theatrical release of 
the third in a trilogy of Seth Rogan and 
James Franco bromance movies called, 
The Interview.

 It was terrorism. And it was terrifying. 
A major motion picture studio had just 
been brought to its knees groveling for 
whomever they upset not to do any 
further damage.

 The U.S. has the largest army in the 
world. We outspend the top 10 militaries 
in the world combined. We outspend 
China with the second largest military 
expenditure by more than three times. 
Our military budget hovers around 
$650 billion a year. Every year. We are 
armed! We are ready! We are fighting! 
Yet companies on our shores and our 
citizens are totally vulnerable—sitting 
ducks waiting for the next hacker to take 
us down. Anyone at any time can take our 
personal information and wreak havoc.

 “No foreign nation, no hacker, should 
be able to shut down our networks, steal 
our trade secrets, or invade the privacy of 
American families, especially our kids,” 
said President Obama in his annual State 
of the Union address. “We are making sure 
our government integrates intelligence to 
combat cyber threats, just as we have done 
to combat terrorism.”

 So here’s a problem with our current 
situation: The FBI needs people who 
know the computers and all. And some 
of these people who are knowledgeable 
in this cyber hacking stuff, who could 
maybe thwart another attack promising 
to “keep our kids safe”—not all of them 
but some—like to smoke pot.

 This came up last year when FBI 
director James Comey told an audience 
at the White Collar Crime Institute 
conference that the agency was having 
trouble finding computer crime experts 
who didn’t smoke marijuana. “I have to 
hire a great workforce to compete with 
those cyber criminals and some of those 
kids want to smoke weed on the way to 
the interview,” Comey said.

He said he was “grappling” with loosening 
the current requirement that to even be 
eligible to work at the FBI you must not 
have smoked pot in the last three years.

 Then anti-drug Senator Jeff Sessions 
clutched his pearls and admonished 
Comey during a Judiciary Committee 
following those comments. “I am 
absolutely dead-set against using 
marijuana,” then clarified Comey. “I did 
not say that I am going to change that 
ban.” And according to the FBI’s website, 
as of this writing, the ban hasn’t changed 

After September 11th, the military was 
only able to translate at three-quarters 
capacity. They were unimaginably 
desperate for Arabic speakers while 
discharging linguists for being (wait for 
it) gay. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell—#headdesk. 
So after the largest terrorist attack in our 
nation’s history, when Americans were 
willing to give up any civil right for the 
promise of safety, we wouldn’t let openly 
gay translators in the military? Basically. 
Even in the throes of hysteria and grief, 
when we came together as one nation 
standing resilient—we still managed 
to marginalize homosexuals, declining 
their expertise and opting for a gap in 
competent personnel instead. Yes, we did.

And now we repeat a dark, self-defeating 
and completely stupid policy when it 
comes to personal drug use.

 Are we a nation that prioritizes security 
and stability in our systems or do we want 
to just finger wag at sinners?

 It’s puritanical folly that the FBI doesn’t 
just consider candidates who want to 
serve their country and are good at what 
they do; they must also be candidates for 
canonization.

 Love it or hate it, the war against pot 
has been lost. It’s mostly decriminalized 
and now in four state people can buy it 
without even claiming it’s medicine. It’s 
taxed and regulated in those states. It’s out 
in the open. Americans can now admit 
to smoking marijuana for fun, just like 
they can drink alcohol for fun. They just 
can’t work at the FBI (among many other 
employers).

 The irony is Seth Rogan and James 
Franco movies would have no audience 
whatsoever if not for the consumption of 
marijuana. So shouldn’t the people who 
could protect their interests be allowed to 
toke if they choose?

 Yes.

Bill Maher called 
Chris Kyle of 
“American Sniper” a “psychopath 
patriot.”

Michael Moore called military snipers 
“cowards” who shoot people in the back.

 Howard Dean said “American Sniper” 
appeals mostly to angry Tea Party types.

 So what?

 Why do we conservatives give two cents 
about what these lefties and liberals say 
about “American Sniper” – or anything 
else?

 Nothing they ever say is surprising. 
Nothing they say ever adds to the debate, 
has any effect on anything or helps us 
find a solution to a serious problem.

 The predictable – and wrong -- things 
these liberals and others on the left said 
about “American Sniper” glorifying 
killing or whitewashing the Iraq war 
couldn’t stop or hurt that great movie.

 Its record $250 million box-office take 
in just two weeks says it all.

 Spending time or space reacting to 
anything Moore tweets or Maher says on 
his barely watched HBO show is a waste 
of time for conservatives and their media.

 Dean’s comment (which he later 
apologized for) was seen and heard by 
far more people on conservative media 
outlets than on Maher’s show.

 Ditto for Moore’s garbled tweets, which 
otherwise would have been seen only by 
his mindless followers.

 So why does the conservative media 
take the bait, time and time again, and 
give the inane comments of liberal cranks 
so much attention and publicity?

 Simple. It’s great for their bottom lines.

 Unfortunately, attacking your enemies 
– even when you can predict what 
they’ll say before they say it – is what the 
American TV viewing audience wants.

 I wish I could change it, but the reality 
is that it’s all about getting higher ratings.

 Whether it’s on MSNBC, CNN or Fox 
News, the media boxing ring has been 
set up for everyone to be always fighting 
somebody else. It’s all about clashing 
opinions and playing to the opposite 
corners.

 You watch MSNBC to be mad at the 
right and Fox to be mad at the left and no 
one watches CNN.

 These staged media fights are rarely 
worth watching and they don’t bring any 
benefit to the country, the conservative 
cause or the political process.

 It’s rarely a fair fight. Alan Colmes and 
Bob Beckel are the Washington Generals 
of Fox News.

 And what good does it do for more 
than 2 million people to watch four 
conservatives beat up Beckel every night 
on “The Five”?

 Beckel, not to mention Fox News, is 
laughing all the way to the bank.

 But the show is a total waste of time for 
everyone else. You might as well watch an 
hour of professional wrestling.

 I’m looking for straight news, news I 
can use, not reports on dumb things said 
by my enemies. But straight news is hard 
to find on TV these days.

 Other people have noticed the news 
shortage. Last year during D-Day 
celebrations in Normandy I was talking 
to some high-ranking members of the 
82nd Airborne.

 “What news do you guys watch?” I 
asked. 

 “Al Jazeera America.”

 “’Al’ what?”

 “Al Jazeera. Because we’re looking for 
straight news, not opinion. We’ll form 
our own opinion.”

 Al Jazeera America being touted for 
its un-spun newscasts by U.S. military 
leaders is a shocking and depressing 
thought.

 But straight news won’t sell to the 
TV masses in America, where the news 
media have turned us into a National 
Inquirer country.

 We’re not getting the news we need or 
can use from network and cable TV. We 
get bad news, gotcha news, sensational 
news or shock-video of car wrecks.

 The conservative media only make 
things worse when they constantly 
publicize the stupid things liberals say. 

 It may be good for ratings. But at some 
point you have to say to the conservative 
media moguls, “Guys, there are a lot of 
important things going on in the world 
and what Michael Moore and Bill Maher 
think are not two of them.”

 Copyright ©2015 Michael Reagan. 
Michael Reagan is the son of President 
Ronald Reagan, a political consultant, 
and the author of “The New Reagan 
Revolution” (St. Martin’s Press). He is 
the founder of the email service reagan.
com and president of The Reagan Legacy 
Foundation. Visit his websites at www.
reagan.com and www.michaelereagan.
com. Send comments to Reagan@
caglecartoons.com. Follow @reaganworld 
on Twitter. 

 Mike’s column is distributed exclusively 
by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate. 
For info on using columns contact Sales 
at sales@cagle.com.

 

This column has been edited by the 
author. Representations of fact and 
opinions are solely those of the author.

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