Mountain Views News, Sierra Madre Edition [Pasadena] Saturday, December 29, 2018

MVNews this week:  Page A:8



Mountain Views-News Saturday, December 29, 2018 

TABLE FOR TWO by Peter Dills


The List that you’ve been waiting for

1. I resolve to drink more water when I drink.

- Translation – add more ice to my drinks

2. I resolve to send back cold food, even if I’m 

Translation – No Mr. Nice Guy

3 I resolve to ask to be moved if there are 
screaming kids next to me.

Translation – “Two things I can’t stand crying 
women and crying babies.”

4. I resolve to send back my meat if its not cooked 
to my liking.

Translation – I want more perfection in 2019

5. I resolve to order a Grande at Starbucks instead 
of a Venti to save money.

Translation – Watch out Starbucks a big dip in the 
stock in 2019

6. I resolve to smoke more cigars this year.

Translation – I always smoke with my friends.

7. I resolve to ask the dumb question, is it really a 
Champagne Brunch

or a Sparkling Wine Brunch?

– It is always 
a Sparkling 
Wine Brunch

8. I resolve 
to ask, is it 
really World 

Translation – 
Never World 
Famous, often 
people in the 

don’t know the place.

9. I resolve to tip 10% if the service warrants it.

Translation - Yeah right - I know I am a coward 
when it comes to stiffing these waiters, even when 
they deserve it.

10. I resolve to cook one meal a week at home.

Translation – One more than I am now!

Bonus When ordering to-go food I will have my 
order ready before getting on the phone!


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