Mountain Views News, Combined Edition Saturday, June 17, 2023

9

 Mountain Views News Saturday, June 17, 2023 


CHRISTOPHER Nyerges [www.SchoolofSelf-Reliance.com]

Just Too Cute— DESTINY & MISTY

Here are two beautiful, sweet, and playful 
girls to purr-fectly comple-ment 
your home! 

Adopt them together.

DESTINY: What a cutie, all purr white 
with beautiful big blue eyes! We are all 
in LOVE with her! She's very friendly, 
cuddly, and fearless!

MISTY: A sister from another mother! Misty is playful and cuddly, 
with beautiful diluted tortie long fur.

Their purr-motors go non-stop when held. They'll both be 

GORGEOUS when all grown!

See more pix and adoption info at www.lifelineforpets.org, the VeryYoung page.


REMEMBERING MY FATHER

 

[Nyerges is the author of “Til Death Do Us Part?”, a series of stories describing 
how he and his wife attempted to deal with death in an uplifting 
manner. The book is available on Kindle, or from School of Self-reliance, 
Box 41834, Eagle Rock, CA 90041 or www.SchoolofSelf-Reliance.com.]

 

When my father’s 80th birthday coincided with Father’s Day some years 
ago, I wrote and illustrated a pictorial booklet for my father which outlined key aspects of 
our life together. It was my way of thanking my father. My wife Dolores and I went to his 
home after the wild cacophonous family gathering had ended. We didn’t want an audience 
in an atmosphere of laugher, sarcasm, and possibly ridicule. I only wanted to share 
the thank you story with my father in a somewhat serious atmosphere.

 

Dolores and I brought some special foods, put on some music, and I began my short presentation 
beginning with my earliest significant memories. I shared with him my memories 
of how he told me I would be an artist when I grew up. He always told me to put my 
bike and toys away, so "the boogeyman" wouldn’t steal them. As I grew older, I learned 
that the world was indeed full of very real "boogeymen" and my father attempted to provide 
me with ways to protect myself against these unsavory elements of life.

 

I recalled to my father, while my mother and Dolores listened on, the birthday party 
adventures, getting hair cuts in the garage, and how my father tolerated my interest in 
mycology and wild edibles.

 

Everyone found the recounting amusing, even funny, but there were also tears mixed with 
the laughter. As with most memories, some things my father recalled quite differently 
from me, and some he didn’t recall at all. Some things that I saw as life-and-death serious, 
he saw as humorous, and vice versa.

 

But above it all, I felt I’d finally "connected" with him at age 80 in a way that I’d never 
managed to do before. My "fathers day card" wasn’t pre-made by a card company, but 
consisted of my own private and secret memories that I shared with him. I managed to 
thank him for doing all the things that I took for granted – a roof over my head, meals, an 
education, a relatively stable home.

 

Of course, all our family members – "insiders" – knew that my father was no saint. But I 
was at least acknowledging the good, and sincerely thanking him for it.

My mother died two years later, and we all knew my father would be lost without her. 
They’d been married over 50 years. His health and activities declined and he finally 
passed away on the Ides of March a few years later.

 

Though his death did not come as a surprise – I was nevertheless left feeling his absence. 
That early Saturday morning when I learned of his death, I even felt parent-less. My view 
of the world changed and I was forced to acknowledge the limits of life and the futility of 
pursuing solely a material existence.

 

After I learned of his death via a phone call, I walked out into the morning rain, in shock, 
crying, thinking, remembering. I was not feeling cold or wet, and somehow I was protected 
by that unique state of mind that enshrouded me.

 

During the next three days, I did as I had done with my mother when she died. I spent the 
next three days reviewing my life with my father.

 

At first I allowed the random memories and pain to wash over me. I talked to Frank constantly 
during those three days, inviting and allowing him to be with me as we did the life 
review together. I felt his pain, his frustration, his emptiness and loneliness in his last few 
years of life. I did nothing to stop the pain of this – I allowed myself to feel it all.

 

I spoke to Frank as I’d speak to anyone living. I felt his presence and even his responses. I 
did this for myself as much as for Frank and his on-going journey.

 

I began to see him as a young man, who met, fell in love, and married my mother. Somehow, 
this was a major revelation to me. I had never seen my own father in that light before. 
He had simply been "my father." Suddenly, he was a unique individual, with his own 
dreams, aspirations, and goals. Amazingly, I’d never viewed him in this way during our 
life together.

And then, after perhaps 12 hours of this, and miles of walking, I began a more chronological 
review of my life with my father, point by point by significant point. I saw his weaknesses 
and strengths, as well as my own. As I did this review, I looked for all the things 
that I’d done right with my father, all the things I’d done wrong, and all the things that I 
could have done better. I wrote these down, and the "wrong" list was shockingly long. The 
"right" list only contained a few items!

 

I asked my father to forgive me, and I resolved to do certain things differently in order to 
change and improve my character. I know I would not have imposed such a rigor upon 
myself had it not been for the death of my father.

 

A week later, when there was the funeral at the church, I felt that I’d come to know my 
father more than I ever was able to do in life. I briefly shared to the congregation my three 
days of "being with" my father, and learning what it was like to be Frank, in his shoes, and 
how we forgave one another.

 

More importantly, I shared to family and friends gathered that day the importance of 
constantly finding the time to tell your living loved ones that you indeed love them, not 
waiting until they die to say the things that you should be saying all along.

 

I remember Frank now on Father’s Day, and continue to express my heart-felt thanks for 
all that he – and my mother – gave to me.

Pet of the Week

 
Gardenia is a young and adventurous girl who has been entertaining 
the volunteers and staff at Pasadena Humane with her 
silly antics. Initially shy, Gardenia is now in the running to be 
voted “most improved player”. She cannot get enough attention 
from everyone who spends time with her- she somehow manages 
to get the spot she wants scratched under your hand time 
and time again. Like any athlete, 

Gardenia has been busy training for the 2024 Olympics. She 
wants to compete in her favorite sport- swimming! She absolutely 
adores going into the (kiddie) pool. She dives head-first 
into the water and will push herself around in circles over and 
over. She doesn’t seem to mind that she never really gets anywhere. 
When she stops, she has a joyful look that we’re pretty 
sure means she thinks she’s won a medal. 

Gardenia is ready to take the podium in her forever home! 
Pasadena Humane has a free adoption event on Saturday, 6/17, from 10:00 am. - 2:00 p.m. 
All adoption fees are waived and no appointment is necessary. The adoption fee for dogs is 
$150. All dog adoptions include spay or neuter, microchip, and age-appropriate vaccines. 
New adopters will receive a complimentary health-and-wellness exam from VCA Animal 
Hospitals, as well as a goody bag filled with information about how to care for your pet. 
View photos of adoptable pets and schedule an adoption appointment at pasadenahumane.
org. Adoptions are by appointment only, and new adoption 
appointments are available every Sunday and Wednesday at 10:00 a.m. 
Pets may not be available for adoption and cannot be held for potential adopters by phone 
calls or email. 


Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com