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OPINIONOPINION

Mountain Views-News Saturday, July 27, 2024 

RICH JOHNSON 

NOW THAT’S RICH

MOUNTAIN 
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STUART TOLCHIN


PUT THE LIGHTS ON

TRULY ODD COUPLES

I guess it is okay to “dovetail” off a previous column with a 
somewhat related follow-up column. Last week I talked about 
favorite films. So, in keeping with a celebrity theme, let’s talk 
about noteworthy “couples” both onscreen and in real life. We 
can compare which is stranger, actual versus fictional.

My first offering is what I presume to be a Hollywood fantasy, a 2017 sci-fi 
fantasy. Maybe it’s a documentary. This “love story” introduces Elisa, a mute 
cleaning lady in a secret government laboratory, falling in love with a mysterious, 
scaled amphibious creature from South America. Rotten Tomatoes, a popular 
film review site gives this film “The Shape of Water” a 92% favorable rating. 
Special nod to actor Doug Jones, who played the amphibian. He displayed, to 
my gleeful delight, that one can be too skinny.

The 1997 film “As Good as It Gets” joins a single mother/waitress, Helen Hunt, 
with a misanthropic, and much older romantic fiction author, Jack Nicholson. 
It earned 86% favorable rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

A popular 1988 romantic comedy centers around the love affair between a 
goofy and whimsical Roger and his gorgeous and sophisticated girlfriend 
Jessica. I can relate to the character of Roger as when asked why she is with 
Roger, Jessica responds, “He makes me laugh”.

Jessica and Roger’s last name is “Rabbit”. The film? “Who Framed Roger 
Rabbit”. 96% favorable Rotten Tomatoes rating. Not sure if it’s a true story or 
not. You be the judge.

Possibly the strangest pairing of any two people in films would be the 1971 
film “Harold and Maude”. Harold, a disillusioned 20 year old meets fun-loving 
80 year old Maude at a funeral. The movie centers around Maude’s quirky 
outlook on life, bright, delightfully carefree in contrast to Harold’s morbid 
demeanor (He drives around in a hearse). Very strange. 86% favorable ratings 
on Rotten Tomatoes.

Now, let’s cross the great divide and enter into the real world of strange pairings 
of famous people.

Liam Neeson met Helen Mirren on the set of the film “Excaliber” in 1980. 
Liam looks back fondly on the time saying, “Oh my God, can you imagine 
riding a horse in shiny suits of armor, having sword fights and stuff, and you’re 
falling in love with Helen Mirren. Doesn’t get any better than that.”

Speaking of all things British, Edward VIII, King of England, gave up his 
throne in 1936 to marry divorcee Wallis Simpson, the love of his life.

Worthy of their own column is the relationship between Katharine Hepburn 
and Spencer Tracy. They starred in 9 films together and were together for 26 
years, ending with Tracy’s death. Hepburn wrote about Tracy, “I loved him. I 
would have done anything for him.” Friend Lauren Bacall, wrote that Hepburn 
was “blindingly” in love with Tracy.

Probably my favorite real life celebrity couple is Denzel and Pauletta 
Washington. I confess to being a big, big fan of Denzel Washington, both on 
screen and off screen. A true Hollywood star, top drawer in and out. Denzel 
met his wife Pauletta in the late 1970s. He confesses Pauletta turned down 
his marriage proposal at least two times before she finally accepted and got 
married in the 1980s. Been together ever since.

Finally, I’m a big fan of Dolly Parton. Aside from her being a lovely lady, she is 
brilliant, creative, generous, funny and as I have read, she is very kind.

In researching famous couples, I loved discovering this quote from Dolly 
regarding her first encounter with future husband Carl Dean. She moved to 
Nashville from rural Appalachia when she was 18. The day she moved she met 
Carl outside the Wish Washy Laundromat in Nashville. As she reminisced 
about that first encounter with her future husband she said: “I was surprised 
and delighted that while he talked to me, he looked at my face (a rare thing 
for me).”

Thank you, Dolly. You’re the best! 

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

 It is my observation that most of any individual’s 
strongest beliefs are based on personal experience. 
My granddaughter, five years old as of today, asked 
my wife on Sunday the following question. “Mima, 
how come sometimes you are old and sometimes 
you are not.” She pointed to my wife’s gray hair visible at the sides of 
her head. Depending on how she combs her hair this gray hair is only 
sometimes visible. My granddaughter equates the presence of gray 
hair as evidence of being old. Understandably she was confused. I was 
present wearing a cap which covered my head. I took off the hat and 
asked my granddaughter if I was old. She looked at my white hair for a 
second and said, “You were always old”.

Of course, from her personal experience she is correct. I was seventy-five 
when she was born and what little hair I had was, and still is, completely 
white. In her personal view I was always an old man. That is what she 
knows, and that experience cannot be taken from her. Her certainty 
somehow led to thinking about the presentations at the Republican 
National Nominating Convention during which Franklin Graham, the 
Reverend Billy Graham’s eldest son, proclaimed his personal experience 
of the God whose Hand had chosen to save the life of the Republican 
Presidential candidate. 

This presentation by Franklin Graham was made immediately after 
the wrestler Hulk Hogan shed his shirt and displayed his muscles to 
demonstrate something or other. I only saw brief snippets of this display 
because, like many of you, the whole Republican convention, especially 
with its emphasis on God and muscles absolutely sickened me. I guess 
this experience of mine reflects my own personal experience wherein I 
have never had the experience of being directly contacted by God and 
frankly don’t believe that anyone else has been so contacted.

Like many assimilated Jews I have never had any religious training, but 
I still profoundly identify with my Jewish heritage. Is that identification 
like rooting for the Dodgers and taking pride in Sandy Koufax. No, I 
don’t think so. My personal experience of the world has resulted in the 
belief that no one has the right to impose beliefs and ideals on anyone. I 
do, in fact, personally believe that “A spirit is, manifest in the laws of the 
universe—a spirit vastly superior to that of men, and one in the face of 
which we with our modest powers must feel humble,” These particular 
words are contained in the writings of Albert Einstein who continued 
“In this way the pursuit of science leads to a religious feeling of a special 
sort.” Certainly, in my life I have not diligently pursued science, but I 
have always tried to do the “right thing”. Yes, I have had some lapses, 
but I am strongly of the belief that there is a “right thing” to do. It’s not 
all arbitrarily made up.

My favorite founding father, Thomas Paine whose pamphlet Common 
Sense motivated Americans to leave their homes and risk their lives, 
described Christianity as “Too absurd for belief, too impossible to 
convince and too inconsistent for practice. As an engine of power, it 
serves the purposes of despotism and as a means of wealth, the avarice of 
priests; as far as respects the good of man in general, it leads to nothing 
here or hereafter.” Paine attacked not only Christianity but any form of 
religious superstition. Paine did not disdain any religious feeling but 
concludes that “my own mind is my own church.” 

Doesn’t this kind of kind of remind you of my granddaughter? Her four-
year-old way of thinking is infinitely more responsible and authentic 
than the fabrications and manipulations displayed at the Republican 
Convention. I was very concerned that the Trumpians were going to be 
victorious. Now, based on President Biden’s decision to step down, all 
seems to have changed and a Democratic victory now seems likely. We 
all should thank God, or someone or something, for this favor. 

By the way, it now seems likely that by 2025, the U.S. President, La 
Presidenta (with an A) of Mexico and the Prime Minister of the United 
Kingdom will have Jewish children. I’m just wondering if that is a 
message from someone or somewhere. 

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What a bunch of BS.

BS is all over television, 
blogs, podcasts and 
newspapers these days.

It’s spouted by politicians 
and pitched by product 
spokesmen.

Modern life is manufacturing an unprecedented 
amount of it.

Thanks to cable “news” channels and social-media 
platforms, there are numerous opportunities for people 
to BS us about all kinds of things.

Just weeks ago, our newscasters were telling us 
President Biden was as fit as a fiddle. How dare we 
think otherwise!

Then we saw his debate performance, which was so 
painful to watch, he was forced to drop out of the race.

We decided to believe our own lying eyes, rather than 
the mistruths our esteemed talking-heads were telling 
us.

The truth is, BS has a long history in America. During 
our early years, the “tall tale” was an accepted form of 
BS. Exaggeration lent more credence and entertainment 
to stories, and yarn-spinning became a celebrated part 
of American culture.

From our beginning we’ve had our share of snake-
oil salesmen and flimflam artists. These scoundrels 
weren’t judged on the rightness or wrongness of their 
scams, so much as the skill with which they practiced 
their craft.

The truth is that we want to be lied to in America.

Whereas the truth can be painful, costly and time-
consuming, we’re suckers for a clever, though deceitful, 
yarn that puts us at ease and helps us sleep better at 
night.

In America, we want our politicians to limit spending 
— and build a new bridge in our backyard.

We want “free” health care and fatter Social Security 
checks — and we want to believe such spending won’t 
raise taxes or the deficit.

But our politicians and “news” 
people are doing such a horrible 
job spinning their mistruths, we 
no longer believe much of anything 
they say. I think it’s because they’ve 
gotten lazy.

I remember the “good old days” when news shows, such 
as “Dateline,” went to elaborate lengths to pull one over 
on us. They rigged up a truck with explosives, blew it 
up on-screen, then blamed the automaker.

Some time ago, cigarette companies said smoking 
wasn’t bad for us. They cited paid-for studies, and we 
happily believed them.

Lyndon Baines Johnson said government spending was 
going to end poverty, and, trillions of dollars later, we 
know how that whopper turned out.

I’m really missing Bill Clinton. He could twist and 
contort any mistruth into the prettiest, most believable 
tale.

We knew he wasn’t telling the truth, but we loved the 
way he didn’t tell it.

But we don’t like the way half-hearted mistruths are 
being sold to us now.

Cable news channels on the left and right spit out 
sensationalized reports to draw viewers, so they can 
sell advertising to make their newscasters, producers 
and corporate owners rich.

Social media is happily pitting us against each other, 
so we spend more time on their platforms demonizing 
and hating people who disagree with us — because the 
more we do that, the more advertising revenue we will 
generate.

As a result, none of us knows who or what to believe 
anymore.

If our press and political leaders have any hope of 
restoring any credibility, one thing is for certain:

They better come up with a better line of BS.

WE NEED A BETTER LOAD OF BS

TOM PURCELL


Mountain Views News

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