Mountain Views News, Sierra Madre Edition [Pasadena] Saturday, August 25, 2018

MVNews this week:  Page B:2




Mountain Views-News Saturday, August 25, 2018 

Jeff’s Book Pics By Jeff Brown



Committing to an amicable divorce means 
protecting your children from end-of-
marriage related trauma. When the marriage 
ends in a cooperative manner, divorce can 
be transformed from a contentious event 
into one that can inspire growth and healing. 
But getting the divorce finalized is only 
the first step. Where the rubber really meets 
the road is how you navigate your new 
relationship as a co-parent. And co-parenting 
means both parents must put aside any 
negativity they may have toward one another, 
so they can place their children’s needs first.
While this may sound simple, it can be 
challenging. To help you get started, I’ve outlined 
six steps that are crucial to a collaborative 
approach to co-parenting.

1. Establish a “professional” relationship with 
your co-parent

 Your marriage with your ex may done, but 
your relationship as co-parents will last a lifetime. 
Think of your new co-parenting relationship 
as a business partnership, where your business 
is raising successful, well-adjusted children. 
This professional approach can not only help 
you become a more effective parent, but it also 
helps prevent unnecessary conflict over personal 
boundaries and past problems. 

For example, if you schedule a time to pick 
up the kids, treat it like an appointment with 
a colleague; don’t blow it off or be late. Be as 
courteous to your co-parent as you would with 
any business colleague.

2. Communicate clearly, cordially, and 
consciously with your co-parent 

Effective communication is paramount to 
successful co-parenting. This can present a 
challenge if poor communication was a primary 
cause of the divorce. By setting a professional tone, 
however, you may find communication becomes 
easier, since it’s free from emotional baggage. 
When communicating, make your kids 
and their healthy adjustment the focal 
point. Tailor everything you say in terms of 
shared responsibility, using terms like “we” 
and “us,” instead of “you” or “me.” Avoid 
anything judgmental: stick to the facts and 
how they affect your children’s well-being. 
Never talk down about your ex in front of 
the kids, and don’t allow your children to be 
disrespectful toward your co-parent, either. You 
never want them to feel like they must choose a 

Finally, don’t use your children as messengers. 
Speak directly to the co-parent yourself. 

3. Create a comprehensive parenting plan

 Every successful partnership requires 
planning, so sit down together and come up with 
a set of mutually agreed-upon guidelines and 
routines. This is essential for fostering security 
and predictability to help the children quickly 
and comfortably adapt to their new situation. 
The more details the plan includes, the better. 
Try to anticipate potential problems ahead of time. 
How will holidays, birthdays, and vacations be 
shared? How will you resolve major disagreements 
between co-parents? How will new romantic 
relationships be handled? Be sure to revisit and 
update the plan regularly as the kids mature. 
Developing such a comprehensive plan with 
an ex is challenging, so it’s often helpful to have 
a third-party present for advice and dispute 
mediation. As your Personal Family Lawyer, we 
can bring in trusted colleagues in the community 
who can help you to develop and maintain 
conscious co-parenting arrangements while we 
make sure your estate planning reflects your 
custody wishes. 

 Next week, I’ll continue with part two in 
this series, discussing the other 3 key steps to 
conscious co-parenting. 

 Dedicated to empowering your family, 
building your wealth and defining your legacy,

A local attorney and father, Marc Garlett is on a 
mission to help parents protect what they love most. 
His office is located at 55 Auburn Avenue, Sierra 
Madre, CA 91024. Schedule an appointment to 
sit down and talk about ensuring a legacy of love 
and financial security for your family by calling 
626.355.4000 or visit for 
more information.

The Unfindable Inquiry: One 
Simple Tool to Overcome 
Feelings of Unworthiness and 
Find Inner Peace by Scott 

This book presents the Unfindable 
Inquiry, the central tool of the 
Living Inquiries approach to non-
dual self-inquiry—a process author 
Scott Kiloby developed to help 
you overcome your false sense of 
separation and the all-too-common, 
deep-seated belief that you’re not 
good enough. With this powerful 
blend of psychology and spirituality, 
you’ll come to understand that the 
separate, deficient self cannot be 
found. What you’ll find instead is 
a profound sense of peace.Many of 
us carry an ingrained belief that 
we’re somehow inadequate and that 
we’re separate and alone, which can 
lead to a general dissatisfaction with 
life, conflicts with others, and an 
estrangement from ourselves that 
causes us to look outward for what we 
feel is lacking. When we look outside 
rather than looking within, it’s easy to 
find ways to confirm our false beliefs 
about ourselves. With the Living 
Inquiries, you’ll be able to see your 
mistaken belief in the “core deficient 
self” and realize the essential oneness 
that exists in the here and now.
Starting with the Boomerang Inquiry 
and the Panorama Inquiry, two self-
inquisitive processes of the Living 
Inquiries, you’ll learn to identify and 
explore the stories you tell yourself 
that underlie the challenges and 
disharmony you experience. Then, 
once you’ve cracked the foundation 
of the false deficient self, you’ll use the 
Unfindable Inquiry and one simple 
question—Is that you?—to reveal that 
you are not who or what you’ve taken 
yourself to be.No matter what it is you 
struggle with—anxiety, depression, 
relationships, trauma, addiction—it’s 
likely that painful self-judgments, and 
the belief that you’re separate from the 
world around you, are at the root of 
your suffering. With The Unfindable 
Inquiry, you’ll discover how to finally break free 
from your false sense of self and separation, and 
experience a more fulfilling life.

Fly Girls: How Five Daring Women Defied 
All Odds and Made Aviation History by 
Keith O’Brien

The untold story of five women who fought to 
compete against men in the high-stakes national air 
races of the 1920s and 1930s — and won. Between 
the world wars, no sport was more popular, or 
more dangerous, than airplane racing. Thousands 
of fans flocked to events, 
and cities vied with one another to 
host them. The pilots themselves 
were hailed as dashing heroes 
who cheerfully stared death in the 
face. Well, the men were hailed. 
Female pilots were more often 
ridiculed than praised for what 
the press portrayed as silly efforts 
to horn in on a manly, and deadly, 
pursuit. Fly Girls recounts how a 
cadre of women banded together 
to break the original glass ceiling: 
the entrenched prejudice that 
conspired to keep them out of 
the sky.O’Brien weaves together 
the stories of five remarkable 
women: Florence Klingensmith, a dropout who worked 
for a dry cleaner in Fargo, North 
Dakota; Ruth Elder, an Alabama 
divorcee; Amelia Earhart, the most 
famous, but not necessarily the most 
skilled; Ruth Nichols, who chafed at 
the constraints of her blue.blood 
family’s expectations; and Louise 
Thaden, the mother of two young 
kids who got her start selling coal in 
Wichita. Together, they fought for 
the chance to race against the men 
— and in 1936 one of them would 
triumph in the toughest race of all. 
Girls celebrates a little-known slice 
of history in which tenacious, trail-
blazing women braved all obstacles 
to achieve greatness.

A Long Time Coming by 
Aaron Elkins 

It takes a real artist to solve a crime 
this big—in a brilliant, engrossing 
mystery by Edgar Award winner 
Aaron Elkins…Art curator Val 
Caruso is not a happy camper. His 
promotion has just been nixed, his 
divorce has become final, and he’s 
dug himself into a nice little rut for 
his fortieth birthday. The uplift? 
A trip to Milan to help Holocaust 
survivor Sol Bezzecca recover a pair 
of cherished sketches by Renoir. 
They’d once been given to Sol’s 
family by the then-unknown artist, 
looted by the Italian Fascist militia, and now after 
decades in hiding have turned up for auction. It’s 
Val’s job to get them back.Unfortunately, his Italian 
adventure takes a dangerous turn when he becomes 
trapped in an intricate web that reaches back to 
World War II—and is still very sticky with art 
thieves, forgers, and somebody who wants Val out of 
the picture permanently. When the lost Renoirs are 
stolen yet again, Val is more determined than ever 
to hunt them down. The reward for reuniting an old 
man with his rightful past? Priceless.But doing it is 
going to be murder.

All Things By Jeff Brown



Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, 
that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is thy Right of the People 
to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw 
off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future Security.Thomas Jefferson, The 
Declaration of Independence



Real Life Tips from LIfe's Instruction Manual



Lori A. Harris


When working properly, 
the immune system is 
responsible for keeping 
the body healthy and 
protecting from foreign 
invaders. Having a 
strong, well-functioning 
immune system is vital to 
functioning in everyday life. It helps our physical and 
mental body and shapes our emotional disposition in 
the world. 

 Our immune system is comprised of many parts 
working together -- glands, immune organs, hormones 
and other biochemicals plus one underlying, more 
subtle, vital energy reserve called Ojas. Ojas is like the 
glue that holds everything together and one of the three 
vital essences -- immunity, vitality, and positive stability. 
Besides the risk of actual diseases of the immune system, 
the amount of stress that we are under also greatly affects 
and depletes this vital energy reserve and the physical 
body. It leaves us subject to overeating and, without 
time to unwind or when in worry or fear, it disconnects 
us spiritually. Physically, the adrenal glands become 
overtaxed by continuous stress, as they overwork to 

 Yoga offers some real help when it comes to boosting 
the immune system and staying healthy. On a basic note, 
yogic movement with conscious, intentional breathing 
reduces stress. In most classes, (not all!) the student gets 
to have an experience of calm or feeling “ok.” The more 
often we can have this experience of being in a calm 
and balanced state of mind, the better. It activates the 
parasympathetic nervous system and helps to combat 
the stress response state. Yoga practiced in silence and 
other practices that facilitate withdrawal of the senses 
(or pratyahara) are essential for building our vital energy 
reserve. Along with a healthy, easily digestible diet, this 
has an impact on the immune system as a whole. A 
strong body and mind mean that we are protected from 
illness while allowing room for us to weather the ups 
and downs of life with greater ease. 

 Make yoga a regular part of your life and watch your 
health improve! Reach out and find out more: www. 


Keely Totten, E-RYT 500, Yoga & Meditation Teacher, 
Staying Healthy Advocate 

What does it take to create change in our physical 
health? How can we practice making healthy choices? 
We have all heard our medical advisors tell us to get 
our cancer screenings, eat more fiber and reduce our 
weight. Somehow their advice doesn't always result in 
changed behavior. Sometimes we are slow to schedule 
our appointments. We make our food choices based 
on flavor and not nutrition, yet we still have a desire 
for improved physical health.

What to do?

I'm experimenting with half. I have committed to 
walking at least 30 minutes per day a distance of at 
least two miles as quickly as possible. That leaves me 
with 23.5 hours left to use in any manner I want. I 
am more aware as I eat. I take time to chew slowly so 
that my food becomes liquified before I swallow. I am 
eating half portions. 

 Our worth is not connected 
to our weight, but our health 
could be impacted. So I am 
making different choices. 
What are you doing to be 
more connected to your body? 
Walking, for most people, 
is an accessible gateway to 
increased physical activity. It 
doesn't require a membership 
or special equipment. Walking 
can be done alone, with a partner or a pet. Walking is 
also an excellent way to practice mindfulness with a 
moving meditation.

 It feels so good to enjoy our bodies and all that they 
are capable of doing. This week celebrate your life 
with a brisk walk. You will be amazed at how good it 
will feel.

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