Mountain Views News, Combined Edition Saturday, December 16, 2023

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 Mountain Views News Saturday, December 16, 


SENIOR HAPPENINGS

DISCOVER YOUR IDEAL ASSISTED 

LIVING COMMUNITY WITH SAFE PATH 
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY! …DECEMBER BIRTHDAYS*

Maria Decker, Nancy Dorn, Prudence Levine Pat Karamitros, Joan 
Hufnagel, Mary Alice Cervera, Carol Horejsi, Shirley Anhalt, Helen 
Reese, Levon Yapoujian, Toni Buckner, Lottie Bugl, Sheila Wohler, Nan 
Murphy, Eleanor Hensel, Sylvia Curl, Elizabeth Levie, Gayle Licher, Cindy 
Barran, and Melissa Stute, Sheila Woehler. 

* To add your name to this distinguished list, please call the paper at 626.355.2737. YEAR 
of birth not required


TIPS ON CARING FOR AN AGING PARENT


Dear Savvy Senior: Where can I turn to for caregiving 
help? I help take care of my 80-year-old father 
and work too, and it’s wearing me out. Worn Out 
Wendy

Dear Wendy: Taking care of an aging parent over a 
period of time – especially when juggling work and 
other family obligations – can be exhausting. But 
help and resources are available. Here’s what you 
should know.

Identify Your Needs

To help you determine and prioritize the kinds of 
help you need, a good first step is to make a detailed 
list of everything you do as your dad’s caregiver and 
the amount of time each task takes. Identify the 
times when you need help the most and which tasks 
others might be able to do for you.

 Then list the types of care needed, such as simple 
companionship or doing active chores, like shopping 
or running errands. Once you determine this, 
here are some tips and places you can reach out to 
for help.

Care Helpers

If you have siblings or other loved ones close by, 
start by asking them if they could come and help 
with specific tasks. And see if friends, neighbors or 
faith group members could help too.

 You also need to check into local resources that 
may be available. Many communities offer a range 
of free or subsidized services that help seniors and 
caregivers with basic needs such as home delivered 
meals, transportation, senior companion services 
and respite services, which offers short-term care so 
you can take an occasional break. Call your nearby 
Area Aging Agency (800-677-1116) for referrals to 
services.

 There are also a bevy of online services you can 
use to help you save time on certain chores. For 
example, online grocery shopping and home deliveries, 
and online pharmacy medication refills and 
deliveries. You can also order meal-kits or pre-made 
meals online through numerous meal service delivery 
companies and arrange needed transportation 
with ride sharing services like Lyft or Uber.

 Or, if you can afford it, you may want to consider 
hiring someone a few hours a week to help with 
things like cooking, housekeeping or even personal 
care. Costs can run anywhere from $12 up to $25 
per hour. Care.com or CareLinx.com are two good 
websites to help you find someone, or you can work 
with a local home care agency.

Financial Aids

If you’re handling your dad’s financial chores, make 
things easier by arranging for direct deposit for his 
income sources, and set up automatic payments for 
his utilities and other routine bills. You may also 
want to set up your dad’s online banking service, 
so you can pay bills and monitor his account anytime. 
Or, if you need help, consider hiring a bill paying 
service like Silver Bills (SilverBills.com), which 
charges a flat fee of $150 per month.

 BenefitsCheckup.org is another excellent tool to 
look for financial assistance programs that may 
help your dad, particularly if he’s lower income.

Technology Solutions

To help you keep tabs on your dad when you are 
away at work or if he lives alone, there are affordable 
technology devices that can help. For example, 
there are medical alert systems and smart speakers 
that help with communication and allow him to call 
for help if needed. Home video cameras with two-
way speakers that allow you to monitor and talk to 
him when you’re away. Electronic pill boxes that can 
notify you if he has taken his medications. And to 
help you coordinate his care with other members of 
his care team there are websites like LotsAHelpingHands.
com.

Other Resources

There are also a number of other organizations you 
can draw on for additional information like the 
Family Care Alliance (Caregiver.org), which provides 
a state-by-state listing of caregiving programs 
and services; the Alzheimer’s Association (ALZ.
org/help-support/caregiving) that provides information 
unique to the challenges of dementia caregivers; 
and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs 
(Caregiver.va.gov), which offers caregiver support 
services to veterans and spouses.

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 
5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim 
Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show and author 
of “The Savvy Senior” book.


THE GIFT OF HEALTH

by Michele Silence


Michele Silence, M.A. is a 37-year certified fitness professional 
who offers semi-private/virtual fitness classes 
and a weight management support group. If you have 
questions or ideas for this column 

Contact Michele at michele@kid-fit.com. 

Visit her Facebook page at: michelesfitness.

 Who wouldn’t want a gift that could last a 
lifetime, reduce their chance of getting a chronic 
disease, or offer relief from living with one? 
Health is invaluable. Often taken for granted, 
it can change in an instant. Feeling good and 
enjoying daily activities can make health seem 
like an afterthought, but a shift from being 
healthy to unhealthy can occur as swiftly as a 
doctor’s visit. Consider the gift of health for 
your loved ones this season, irrespective of their 
circumstances. Whether it's your elderly grandmother 
or your son in a wheelchair, everyone 
can benefit from fitness.

 Keep it simple and engaging. Consider getting 
a bike for a child who spends too much time sitting, 
with the promise that each hour they ride 
contributes to a total that earns them a desired 
reward. Perhaps your wife would relish a group 
exercise class she’s mentioned. Think about 
what could enrich their lives. For an exceptional 
gift, include your time. For instance, get your 
dad walking shoes with a commitment to join 
him for a half-hour walk twice a week.

 Gifts of health are simple, quick and don’t require 
lots of internet surfing, driving around or 
deep thought. Someone who has chronic back 
pain may appreciate a package including a massage, 
chiropractic visit or acupuncture session 
along with tools like a foam roller, massage ball 
and stretching strap. Individuals with painful 
arthritis might benefit from water aerobics 
classes, Tai Chi, cycling or strength training. 

 If you have a friend or loved one who previously 
exercised but isn’t anymore, tap into their 
former interests. What activities did they do 
before and what versions and intensities can 
they do now. If someone used to hike but became 
too busy at work, a new hiking backpack 
along with navigation tools might reignite their 
motivation.

 Books can also be great as are subscriptions 
to home workout videos. If there’s something 
you have been wanting to do, add that to a gift. 
Example, if you’ve always wanted to try rock 
climbing and you want to give a gift to someone 
on your list who is super fit, get some free passes 
for both of you to try it.

 Rediscovering past interests is a great starting 
point for those who used to be active but have 
paused their routines. However, for some who 
might feel uncertain about where to begin or 
what would suit their current lifestyle, engaging 
with a fitness consultant could be invaluable. 
These professionals offer insights tailored to 
individual preferences and capabilities, providing 
guidance on suitable activities and pacing. 
Rather than immediately diving into strenuous 
activities, a consultation allows a comfortable 
starting point, enabling them to explore and 
discover what best fits their needs and interests. 
Remember, as long as they start moving more 
they are taking steps to improve the quality of 
their life.

 For the tech person on your list there is so 
much to choose from. Virtual reality headsets 
like Meta Quest offer immersive fitness experiences. 
VR treadmills and fitness devices are 
novel and fun. Devices such as an Apple Watch 
can track activities, track types of workouts, 
measure heart rate, offer GPS for outdoor activities, 
offer fitness challenges, share activity 
progress with others for motivation, analyze 
workout performance over times and more. 
Simple fitness apps like Caliber can allow users 
to customize their fitness experience, provide 
coaching and specialize workouts. Health apps 
like Future help keep track of an individual’s 
personal health metrics and workout trends. 

 Also, don't forget about those who are already 
engaged in exercise routines. An avid runner 
would love a new pair of running shoes (they 
are expensive and a gift certificate is best here 
so that they can get the ones best for them). A 
tennis player might enjoy a new bag for gear, 
box of balls or restringing their racket. Even 
someone who has a gym membership would 
love to have their dues covered for a few months 
or a certificate for new workout clothes. Just remember, 
anyone who is currently working out 
may have favorite clothes, shoes and equipment 
so it’s best to not introduce something new that 
they may find unsuitable. Certificates are a safe 
and appreciated choice for this population.

 Remember, the gift of health is the most enduring 
present one can give. Every step towards 
a healthier lifestyle is an invaluable investment 
in well-being, one that lasts far beyond the moment 
of gifting. Even for those who are healthy 
and fit, gifts promoting health are priceless and 
can last a lifetime.

If you still need help coming up with ideas for 
a special someone, contact me via my email or 
Facebook page. 

OUT TO PASTOR 

A Weekly Religion Column by Rev. James Snyder


CULTIVATING THE FINE ART OF LISTENING

 If confession is good for the 
soul, I must confess here, I 
have not been successful at 
everything in my life. Oh yes, 
there are a few things I have 
been successful at, which I won’t mention right 
now. But many things I have failed to succeed at.

 One thing I have failed to succeed at, even 
though I have tried all my life, is listening.

My ears work, and I can hear many things, but 
it’s listening when I fail.

 My first experience in this area of listening was 
when I met The Gracious Mistress of the Par-
sonage. At that time, we were students at a Bible 
Institute studying for the ministry.

 We met in September, and we had become a 
couple by January. One night, we were traveling 
with a group, and she casually asked, “Wouldn’t 
it be nice to get married?” Having failed in 
woman-ology and thinking it was just a casual 
question, I said, “It sure would be nice to get 
married.” I thought that was all there was.

 The next day, in the school halls, everybody 
congratulated me, and for the life of me, I did 
not know what they were talking about. I just 
thought I passed a test for the first time. Later, 
I realized they congratulated me on my engagement 
to get married. I was the last one to know.

 Sure, I heard what she said, but I wasn’t listening 
to what she said. I have learned through 
life that there’s a big difference between hearing 
and listening. Not long after that incident, 
we married and have been blissfully married for 
over 53 years. 

 As a husband, I had to learn many things, and 
I wasn’t very successful. I assumed when your 
wife asks a question, she is asking to get an answer. 
It took me a long time to realize that was 
never the case.

 Early in our marriage, she said, “Correct me if 
I’m wrong…” Then, she explained the situation 
from her perspective. Thinking she was asking 
for my evaluation, I usually would do what she 
asked and correct her. The first time I did this, 
I was not prepared for the outcome.

 Looking at me, she graciously said, “If I want 
your opinion, I will ask for it.” I thought that’s 
what she asked for. I was only doing what I 
thought she said.

 It took me a long time to understand her meaning 
when she said, “Correct me if I’m wrong.” 
And believe me, I paid a heavy price for learning 
that too slowly. I only wish I would have known 
it earlier in our marriage.

 Early in our marriage, I was busy correcting 
her when she asked to be corrected. That’s 
when I began to understand that hearing and 
listening are two different occupations. I can 
hear everything she is saying, but I’m not listening 
to what she is saying. I’m not quite sure how 
to connect these two things.

 Finally, I began to understand what she meant. 
When she said, “Correct me if I’m wrong,” she 
was not asking for a correction but something 
completely different. She wanted to hear from 
me, “My dear, you are absolutely correct.”

 I remember the first time I responded to her in 
like fashion. I still see the smile she had on her 
face when I said it. It was then I realized what 
she was looking for. She was not looking for my 
opinion but rather for my approval. I began to 
understand what people meant when they said, 
“A happy wife is a happy family.”

It is like the old joke about Abraham Lincoln 
and his wife. Lincoln’s wife came to him and 
said, “Abe, does this dress make me look fat?” 
Fortunately, Honest Abe understood hearing 
and listening.

 Throughout life, I have met many people obsessed 
with always being right. No matter what 
they are doing, they want to be recognized as 
doing it right.

 Even though I’m still trying to develop a learning 
curve in this area, I have learned that my 
happiest days are not when I am right. I used to 
think they were, but I have graduated to a different 
understanding.

 Recently, I noticed that The Gracious Mistress 
of the Parsonage has used the phrase, “Correct 
me if I’m wrong,” more times than I’ve ever 
heard her say that. I’m not sure if it’s intentional, 
but at my level of understanding, I’m going 
to accept it and say to her every time, “Oh, my 
dear, you are absolutely correct.”

 The smile on her face when I say that is very 
satisfying and worth my effort. I must make a 
choice in life: her smile or my being right. At my 
level of experience, I always choose the former.

She asks some other questions that I’m working 
on, and hopefully, I will accomplish my goal be-
fore I die. I will need to learn how to connect my 
ears with my brain. That will be my challenge 
for the New Year.

 While thinking about this recently I remembered 
a very wonderful verse in the New Testament. 
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let 
every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow 
to wrath: (James 1:19).

 I need to cultivate the fine art of listening. That 
simply means that I’m going to be slow to speak 
and only speak when I have thought through 
what I am hearing.

Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com