Mountain Views News, Combined Edition Saturday, December 16, 2023

11

OPINIONOPINION

Mountain Views-News Saturday, December 16, 2023 

RICH JOHNSON 

NOW THAT’S RICH

STUART TOLCHIN

MOUNTAIN 
VIEWS

NEWS

PUBLISHER/ EDITOR

Susan Henderson

PASADENA CITY 
EDITOR

Dean Lee 

PRODUCTION

SALES

Patricia Colonello

626-355-2737 

626-818-2698

WEBMASTER

John Aveny 

DISTRIBUTION

Peter Lamendola

CONTRIBUTORS

Stuart Tolchin 

Harvey Hyde

Audrey Swanson

Meghan Malooley

Mary Lou Caldwell

Kevin McGuire

Chris Leclerc

Dinah Chong Watkins

Howard Hays

Paul Carpenter

Kim Clymer-Kelley

Christopher Nyerges

Peter Dills 

Rich Johnson

Lori Ann Harris

Rev. James Snyder

Katie Hopkins

Deanne Davis

Despina Arouzman

Jeff Brown

Marc Garlett

Keely Toten

Dan Golden

Rebecca Wright

Hail Hamilton

Joan Schmidt

LaQuetta ShambleE

PUT THE LIGHTS ON

GOLF, MOUNTAINS AND 
MEMORIES


IT IS GETTING CLOSER TO CHRISTMAS!

This Christmas season, I’m reminded of the three stages of man:

1. He believes in Santa Claus

2. He does not believe in Santa Claus

3. He becomes Santa Claus

“You know you’re getting old when Santa starts looking younger.” Robert Paul

The corollary to the above comment is to remember this very important rule: “Nothing is 
as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”

If you’re a Star Trek fan your Christmas card should read: “To coldly go where no snowman 
has gone before.

“There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till 
we start shopping, right?” Conan O’Brien

Speaking of becoming Santa Claus, I came across an experience that should make us 
“seniors” take notice and take notes. Here goes:

Grandpa was feeling his age and the thought of shopping for Christmas gifts for his rather 
extended family was just too daunting. So, Grandpa decided to include in each Christmas 
card, a check. In each card he wrote, “Merry Christmas. Buy your own present.” And 
mailed the Christmas cards off early.

 The normal activities of Christmas ensued and it was only after the holiday he realized he 
had received very few Christmas cards in return. Not like his family. He went into his study 
intent on writing a few relatives to ask what happened. As he cleared the clutter off his desk 
he was horrified when he discovered the stack of gift checks he had written out. Gramps 
forgot to enclose them with the Christmas cards. “Buy your own Christmas present” took 
on a whole new meaning that Christmas lol. Isn't that right Grampa Grumps?

Another telling reaction to Christmas:

“It’s Christmas Eve! It’s the one night of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a 
little easier, we cheer a little more. For a couple of hours out of the whole year, we are the 
people we always hoped we would be.” Bill Murray

Speaking of Christmas spirit, Comedian George Burns once said, “Happiness is having a 
large, loving, caring, close-knit family living in another city.”

Lame Christmas Card Idea: Here is a certifiably lame Christmas card idea. In fact, I won’t 
tell you the answer here. Figure out the message of the following that makes it a Christmas 
expression: Are you ready?

“A B C D E F G H I J K M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z”

What makes it Christmas? I’ll give you the answer at the bottom of this column if you don’t 
figure it out.

Someone named Earthman Adam offered us this warning: “I left Santa gluten-free cookies 
and organic soy milk. He put a solar panel in my stocking.”

We now have a clever retort to someone being snarly during the holidays. “Don’t get your 
tinsel in a tangle.” Thank you unknown person.

“Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even if you’re home.” Christmas Carol Nelson

The way you spend Christmas is far more important than how much!

Christmas is a magical time of year…I just watched all my money magically disappear.

“Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store” Dr. Seuss

One of my heroes is humorist Andy Rooney (you may remember from the television show 
“60 Minutes”) Andy, among other things has given us:

 “One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on 
Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.”

As a grown-up I have learned that all the “Christmas magic” I felt as a kid was really a mom 
who loved me so “darn” much.

Double dare you to write this on a Christmas card to someone: “Being related to me is the 
only Christmas gift you need.”

And of course, I have to end with a quote that puts each Christmas into its proper 
perspective:

“The magic of Christmas is not in the presents, but in “His” presence!”

By the way, if you always wanted to go to a New Year’s Eve Dinner soiree but the lateness 
of the hour held you back…YOU’RE IN LUCK! Come to Nano Café’s New Year’s Eve EVE 
dinner/dancing soiree. Saturday night, December 30th from 6:30 – 10:30. The night before 
New Year’s Eve. Call (626) 325-3334 and make your reservation. 322 W. Sierra Madre Blvd. 
My band, JJ Jukebox will be playing the music to dance, drink and dine to. Look forward 
to seeing your there.

And finally…the answer to the Lame Christmas Card Idea up above: “No L”

Think about it. No L...Noel!

 My son Aaron, much like the Governor and the 
Fonz, has difficulty reading. After struggling to read one 
of my articles, he asked, “Why are you always criticizing?” 
So I decided to write an article that praises something. 

 On Tuesday as I walked my dog Dream, my right leg 
began to hurt. The pain was severe and my first thought 
was , “Oh no I won’t be able to play golf tomorrow.” Usually 
I meet a friend for golf at the nearby course on Wednesdays. We play pretty 
early and this morning a magnificent rising orange sun was visible. Good 
beginning I thought but worried about the pain in my leg. Then I realized 
that golf is such a forgiving sport that I could play pain or no pain. In fact, 
today’s article is a tribute to golf.

 Think about it. Golf is played in beautiful open spaces. Eaton Canyon 
is set at the foot of the San Gabriel Mountains right below the Mount Wilson 
trail leading to the Observatory. Many of you know that it was here that Dr. 
Edwin Hubble described and measured the expansion of the universe.

 Almost exactly 35 years ago to the day, I had fasted in celebration 
of Yom Kippur, hiked to the top of Mt. Wilson with a friend, and visited the 
observatory. Ironically, my friend’s leg had started to bother him so he got a 
ride home with somebody and I was left to hike alone. 

 As luck would have it a raging thunderstorm broke out as I made my 
way down. I tried unsuccessfully to stay dry by sheltering under some trees. 
At some point I emerged from the trees and began yelling and gesturing at a 
plane overhead. I realized it was futile and best not to fall asleep in the rain 
so I did jumping jacks for what seemed like hours to stay awake until I was 
rescued by the Sierra Madre Search and Rescue Team. Luckily my girlfriend 
at the time had phoned the police after she couldn’t reach me knowing I was 
hiking. At about 4 am the rescue team found me! I remember a rescuer 
putting socks on my hands to stop me from freezing.

 As I play beneath the Mount Wilson Trail I remember and appreciate 
the fact that I am still alive. As you have probably already guessed I am not the 
most responsible person and very far from perfect. Golf is the perfect sport 
for me. Because of my immobility I use an electric cart while my younger 
partner walks the course pushing his handcart. We are of very different 
abilities but golf is very forgiving. Unlike tennis or ping pong, players are not 
on opposite sides of a net competing against one another.

 While golfing we compete against the course and ourselves and can 
appreciate our partners best shots. Sure many golfers compete and bet but I 
am such a worthless player that I don’t bet and don’t keep score. Frequently 
my partner helps me find my ball after an errant shot has become almost lost 
among the trees.

 Speaking of partners, I must offer praise. These are generally older 
men that I have met while golfing. Many are Republicans but are nevertheless 
men with whom I have enlightening and interesting discussions. Were it not 
for golf I might never have made these continuing connections and I believe 
they have expanded my perspective.

 Another wonderful aspect of golf is the way it caters to older 
people and people of limited mobility. Electric carts are available and very 
importantly to me these carts can be used to transport the golfer and the 
heavy clubs back to the car after a tiring round. 

 Finally golf is wonderful in that invariably even I can make a surprisingly 
beautiful shot. It might be a long curving putt or an effective short chip shot, 
or a trap shot -it is very satisfying. Today the weather was fine. I looked at the 
beautiful mountains and was very aware of how fortunate I was to be where I 
was, alive and connecting with a friend.

 How did I do? Terribly if you look at the score which I don’t, but 
wonderfully, notwithstanding my sore leg which really had little impact on 
my playing. By the way, it’s almost midnight and my leg no longer hurts.

 Stuarttolchin@gmail.com I would love to hear from you. 

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DINAH CHONG WATKINS

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE 
WRONG KIND

 
A CHRISTMAS STORY

The evening started out as a typical Norman Rockwell family vignette. 
I was chopping up tomatoes for the salad, my husband and my 5 year 
old son were playing with Legos at the kitchen table, then a split 
second miscalculation of a chef’s knife, tomato, finger and, “Sh#$!” I 
cried out loud, very loud. 

They turned in my direction. “Are you okay?” asked my husband. “Yes.” I answered, 
pressing a carrot chip against my finger tip to stem the bleeding.

“Mommy said a bad word! Will she get punished?” my son asked, confusion clouded his 
face. My husband and I locked eyes. I was pretty sure he could not read my mind - yet 
again. “Umm yes, Mommy said a bad word.” 

Distraught, my son jumped out of his chair, “Will you punish her now?”

My husband and I locked eyes again, this time I knew he had better read my mind.

“After you go to bed, now let’s clean up before dinner.” he replied.

I replaced the carrot chip with a Band-Aid and dinner was a quiet affair. My son was 
mopey, uninterested even in the lure of a freshly baked Pillsbury Refrigerated Cookie 
Dough cookie. Later, when my husband tucked my son into bed, he turned to him,

“Daddy, I don’t want Mommy to be punished.” “But Mommy said a bad word and we 
have rules.” My son’s lips quivered and he took a deep breath, “I want to take Mommy’s 
punishment for her.”

They came down the stairs, my husband and my son. My husband’s face showed surprise, 
pride? My son’s was of concern, relief? “He wants to take the punishment for you.”

“What? No! That’s alright, I did the bad thing I deserve it.” “No, he made his decision.”

My husband led my son to the bathroom. My heart was reeling, overwhelmed with love 
and gratitude to my son but not as sweet feelings towards my husband.

My husband unwrapped a fresh bar of hotel soap (always useful I tell myself when I pack 
it along with the complimentary Keurig coffee pods) and gave it to my son. 

My son hesitated and then swiped it twice on his tongue. He gagged, the organic orange 
ginger soap did not live up to the hype.

Afterwards, when I put my son to bed, he looked up at me and smiled, “Mommy, now I 
can go to sleep because you don’t have to be punished.” 

My heart swelled at his sacrificial act of pure love. In this greater way, Jesus Christ 
sacrificed himself on the cross so that whoever believes in him should not perish but 
have eternal life.

May God bless you and your family this Christmas! 

Dinah Chong Watkins column appears every 1st and 3rd Saturday of the month.

 For more Close Encounters Of The Wrong Kind go to www.ceotwk.com


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Views News

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Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com