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OPINIONOPINION

Mountain Views-News Saturday, April 27, 2024 

MOUNTAIN 
VIEWS

NEWS

PUBLISHER/ EDITOR

Susan Henderson

PASADENA CITY 
EDITOR

Dean Lee 

SALES

Patricia Colonello

626-355-2737 

626-818-2698

WEBMASTER

John Aveny 

DISTRIBUTION

Peter Lamendola

CONTRIBUTORS

Michele Kidd

Stuart Tolchin 

Harvey Hyde

Audrey Swanson

Meghan Malooley

Mary Lou Caldwell

Kevin McGuire

Chris Leclerc

Dinah Chong Watkins

Howard Hays

Paul Carpenter

Kim Clymer-Kelley

Christopher Nyerges

Peter Dills 

Rich Johnson

Lori Ann Harris

Rev. James Snyder

Katie Hopkins

Deanne Davis

Despina Arouzman

Jeff Brown

Marc Garlett

Keely Toten

Dan Golden

Rebecca Wright

Hail Hamilton

Joan Schmidt

LaQuetta ShambleE

STUART TOLCHIN

PUT THE LIGHTS ON

RICH JOHNSON 

NOW THAT’S RICH


CERTAINTY

Are you sure of anything anymore? When I grew 
up watching television together was something my 
family and most families did together. We all watched 
Westerns in which the good Cowboys fought off the 
bad Indians who were just savages who liked to go 
around scalping people. Nobody ever mentioned to 
me that in actual fact the Cowboys “the good White 
People” were in fact the bad guys who prevailed not because of inherent 
superiority but because of a combination of other factors.

The book, Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond explains why 
Eurasian and North American civilizations survived and conquered 
other civilizations because of geographic and other environmental 
factors rather than any inherent superiority of White People. As you are 
no doubt aware there remains a large segment of the population within 
the United States that still believes this to be true. It is this longing for 
the return of an accepted White Skin Superiority which is at the heart 
of the matter. The “knowledge” that one is better than other people just 
because of the color of your skin.

These folk may not have succeeded in many things, and they recognize 
that they have made many mistakes, but are certain they still are 
superior to than those non-White others. Look how poor they are, look 
at their broken families and jail records. There was a time when all the 
news presenters and all the Big City mayors were White Men and now 
everything is different. There was even a Black President and now there 
is a non-White non-Male Vice-President who could become President 
if the old man Democrat President dies.

The problem is this voting business. Who really wants to vote? What 
many want is a strong powerful celebrity, a White Man who, by 
definition, is worthy of their trust. A man like Ronald Reagan, or Arnold 
Schwarzenegger, or Jesse Ventura. Who cares what their policies are? 
Most of us never understand that stuff anyway. If they had to vote they 
would vote for Putin over Kamala Harris.

Let’s face it, historically it does seem that change in this Country after 
the emancipation of the slaves has happened very slowly; but from 
another view the change has been remarkably rapid. This is the time of 
year when graduations are taking place and I happened to think about 
my own graduation from Law School in 1968. My father had lost his 
vision almost seven years before and my mother did not like to drive 
freeways and was very uncomfortable driving in areas with which she 
was unfamiliar. Nevertheless, they drove together from the Valley all 
the way to UCLA to be present at the graduation ceremony. After the 
ceremony, my parents wanted to take me to a Deli to eat and I told them 
I wanted my girlfriend, a Black Woman, to accompany us. My girlfriend 
understood my parents’ concern, so she agreed with my mom that since 
she didn’t like Deli food it was not a good idea for her to come with us 
to the restaurant. Later my girlfriend and I talked about it, and she 
explained that she knew how important graduation was for my parents 
and she did not want to disturb their celebration. I mention all this not 
for the purpose of showing how racist my parents were. Really, I never 
saw them that way; but rather, I can sympathize, or at least understand, 
the difficulty some White People, especially nonprofessional not overly 
successful White People have in accepting the change. But if one thing 
is certain, it is that change will occur and continues to occur and 
depending on one’s own personal circumstances some changes are 
tougher to accept than others.

I hope you agree that America can survive the bitterness that seems to 
exist, and I believe we will be able to do whatever is necessary to cope 
with all the crises (I believe that is the plural of “crisis” but, of course, 
I am not certain.) By the the time this article is available on Saturday I 
will have celebrated my eightieth birthday on Friday—at least I’m pretty 
certain of that.

CONVERSATION STARTERS…OR STOPPERS

Consider yourself an outgoing person? Engaging, extroverted, spirited, 
animated, convivial? Or, are you best self-described as a shy person? Timid, 
skittish, introverted, self-conscious? 

If you are perennially shy, let me let you in on a little secret: A good 
percentage of us “extroverted” people wish we were a little less “outgoing”. Think about it. 
You tend to think before you speak or act. I tend to speak or act without thinking. Your 
utterances are the result of a careful “ready, aim, fire” process. It’s much more likely my 
utterances will be the result of “ready, FIRE, aim”. Big difference.

The world would definitely be a better place if I talked less and you talked more.

Wait a minute, I have an idea. If we are ever together, side by side in a group of people, I’ll 
talk less, if you promise to speak up. And to help things along in our journey to make the 
world a better place with less of me and more of you, here are some questions which are good 
conversation starters:

Can you ever be in the wrong place at the right time?

Why are you “in” a movie, but on TV?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Do fish ever get thirsty?

Is a hot dog a sandwich? Why not?

Speaking of dogs, if you were a dog, which breed would you want to be?

What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?

How many chickens would it take to kill an elephant?

What do you call a male ladybug?

Why don’t we call a daughter named after her mother “Junior”?

Why is the sea salty and the lakes aren’t?

Speaking of water, what’s the first thing you wash in the shower?

Do birds ever fall out of trees when they sleep? I’ve never seen it.

Why do we choose between only 2 people for president, but 50 people for Miss America?

Which animated character would you be?

How would you counsel someone who is addicted to counseling?

If I ask you to “put your two cents in” but it’s only “a penny for your thoughts” where does 
the extra penny go?

Why do we call it “after dark” when it’s really “after light”?

Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

What Guinness Book of World Records record would you like to break?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

Do you still sleep with a stuffed animal or toy?

If you have 12 odds and ends and lose 11 what’s left…an odd or an end?

How do you know when it’s time to tune your bagpipes?

Why aren’t apartments called togetherments?

Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “up over”?

And why do people pay to go up tall buildings to put money in binoculars to look at 
things on the ground?

And maybe the most important relationship question that can be asked: “do you hang 
toilet paper over or under?”

And the most important question in the universe:

“Why are yummy foods bad for you and yucky foods good for you?”

I hope some of you out there will help me celebrate Saturday, April 27th. In addition to being 
National “Save the Frogs” Day, it is also Eeyore’s birthday.

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THE PICK OF THE LITTER by Alexandr Zudin 

Just because I think littering 
should be punishable by death 
doesn’t mean I’m an unreasonable 
person.

 I leave tips at restaurants. I smile 
when dogs get on public transport. 
Sometimes, I cry during sitcoms.

 I also have a freshly-oiled 
chainsaw in my garage. But most 
suburbanites do.

 The suburbs are not usually places 
where one expects to find litter.

 That’s not because everyone here 
lives out that episode from “The 
X-Files” where a garbage monster 
kills people who put up tacky 
decorations.

 It’d be cool if that were a thing. 
It’d also save me a lot of work. But 
I don’t want you to get the wrong 
idea.

 I’ve just spent enough time 
picking other people’s rubbish out 
of my lawn that I’m considering 
installing landmines in place of the 
sprinkler system.

 You might argue that suburbs 
are no place for landmines. And 
you’re right. They’d be much more 
effective in cities.

 Let us be clear. The people who 
can’t bother making it to a trash 
can before they grind what’s left 
of their pizza into the sidewalk are 
not good people.

 They don’t work to cure cancer, or 
volunteer with the elderly, or write 
humor columns. They just make 
clean places dirty.

 So if we had something more 
compelling than anti-littering fines 
that never get paid, you’d merely 
observe a brief besplattering. Then 
the sidewalks would stay clean. 
Permanently.

 Look, I offered a solution. I didn’t 
say it was a good one. Once you 
think about it, it isn’t really that 
humane. Also, it wouldn’t work at 
scale.

 Here’s another simple solution. In 
addition to sending kids on field 
trips to Hersheypark, bus them to 
dirty areas and have them clean up.

 For one, it’ll get those places clean. 
See, I told you it was simple.

 For two, it’d teach children to 
respect sanitation workers and 
other people who keep things nice, 
like cart pushers, plumbers, and 
their mothers.

 For three, it’s somewhat cheaper 
to buy fifth-graders grabber 
reacher sticks and gloves than it is 
to send more environmentalists to 
Washington. And it’s a lot cheaper 
than landmines.

 For four, if the parents complain, 
just invite them to clean up with 
their kids. No matter whether they 
say yes or no, someone will learn a 
lesson about character.

 The best part about this kind of 
effort is that it’ll encourage us 
to appreciate nature and respect 
others. At least, the others who 
don’t stick gum under picnic tables.

 This doesn’t have to be a national 
initiative or anything like that.

 Suggest a community cleanup at 
your Book of the Month Club, or 
Gardening Barefoot Because You 
Like to Live Dangerously Club, or 
Pigeon Fanciers’ Society. I won’t 
judge.

 Okay, I might judge a little if 
you’re a pigeon fancier. But I’d be 
grateful, too.

 We can make the places we love a 
little better. We can begin to clean 
the world from our backyards. We 
can start right now.

If you’re reading this column 
in print, there are three ways to 
prevent it from becoming litter. 
You could tack it on your fridge. 
You could recycle it. Or I could get 
my chainsaw.


Mountain Views News

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concerns of our readers 
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Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com