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Mountain View News Saturday, June 15, 2024


CHRISTOPHER Nyerges 

[Nyerges is the author of several books including “Self-Sufficient Home” and 
“How to Survive Anywhere.” He also leads wilderness classes every weekend. 
He can be reached at School of Self-Reliance, Box 41834, Eagle Rock, CA 
90041, or www.SchoolofSelf-Reliance.com]


REMEMBERING MY FATHER 

When my father’s 80th birthday coincided with Father’s Day some years 
ago, I wrote a pictorial booklet for my father which outlined key aspects of 
our life together. It was my way of thanking my father. My wife Dolores and 
I went to his home after the wild cacophonous family gathering had ended. We didn’t want an 
audience in an atmosphere of laugher, sarcasm, and possibly ridicule. I only wanted to share 
the thank you story with my father in a somewhat serious atmosphere.

 Dolores and I brought some special foods, put on some music, and I began my short 
presentation beginning with my earliest significant memories. I shared with him my memories 
of how he told me I would be an artist when I grew up. He always told me to put my bike and 
toys away, so "the boogeyman" wouldn’t steal them. As I grew older, I learned that the world 
was indeed full of very real "boogeymen" and my father attempted to provide me with ways to 
protect myself against these unsavory elements of life.

 I recalled to my father, while my mother and Dolores listened on, the birthday party adventures, 
getting hair cuts in the garage, and how my father tolerated my interest in mycology and wild 
edibles.

 Everyone found the recounting amusing, even funny, but there were also tears mixed with 
the laughter. As with most memories, some things my father recalled quite differently from 
me, and some he didn’t recall at all. Some things that I saw as life-and-death serious, he saw 
as humorous, and vice versa.

 But above it all, I felt I’d finally "connected" with him at age 80 in a way that I’d never managed 
to do before. My "fathers day card" wasn’t pre-made by a card company, but consisted of my 
own private and secret memories that I shared with him. I managed to thank him for doing 
all the things that I took for granted – a roof over my head, meals, an education, a relatively 
stable home.

 Of course, all our family members – "insiders" – knew that my father was no saint. But I was 
at least acknowledging the good, and sincerely thanking him for it.

My mother died two years later, and we all knew my father would be lost without her. They’d 
been married over 50 years. His health and activities declined and he finally passed away on 
the Ides of March a few years later.

 Though his death did not come as a surprise – I was nevertheless left feeling his absence. That 
early Saturday morning when I learned of his death, I even felt parent-less. My view of the 
world changed and I was forced to acknowledge the limits of life and the futility of pursuing 
solely a material existence.

 After I learned of his death via a phone call, I walked out into the morning rain, in shock, 
crying, thinking, remembering. I was not feeling cold or wet, and somehow I was protected 
by that unique state of mind that enshrouded me.

 During the next three days, I did as I had done with my mother when she died. I spent the 
next three days reviewing my life with my father.

 At first I allowed the random memories and pain to wash over me. I talked to Frank constantly 
during those three days, inviting and allowing him to be with me as we did the life review 
together. I felt his pain, his frustration, his emptiness and loneliness in his last few years of life. 
I did nothing to stop the pain of this – I allowed myself to feel it all.

 I spoke to Frank as I’d speak to anyone living. I felt his presence and even his responses. I did 
this for myself as much as for Frank and his on-going journey.

 I began to see him as a young man, who met, fell in love, and married my mother. Somehow, 
this was a major revelation to me. I had never seen my own father in that light before. He 
had simply been "my father." Suddenly, he was a unique individual, with his own dreams, 
aspirations, and goals. Amazingly, I’d never viewed him in this way during our life together.

 And then, after perhaps 12 hours of this, and miles of walking, I began a more chronological 
review of my life with my father, point by point by significant point. I saw his weaknesses and 
strengths, as well as my own. As I did this review, I looked for all the things that I’d done right 
with my father, all the things I’d done wrong, and all the things that I could have done better. 
I wrote these down, and the "wrong" list was shockingly long. The "right" list only contained 
a few items!

 I asked my father to forgive me, and I resolved to do certain things differently in order to 
change and improve my character. I know I would not have imposed such a rigor upon myself 
had it not been for the death of my father.

 A week later, when there was the funeral at the church, I felt that I’d come to know my father 
more than I ever was able to do in life. I briefly shared to the congregation my three days of 
"being with" my father, and learning what it was like to be Frank, in his shoes, and how we 
forgave one another.

 More importantly, I shared to family and friends 
gathered that day the importance of constantly 
finding the time to tell your living loved ones that 
you indeed love them, not waiting until they die to 
say the things that you should be saying all along.

 I remember Frank now on Father’s Day, and 
continue to express my heartfelt thanks for all that 
he – and my mother – gave to me.

JOEY, ROSS and CHANDLER

Kitten “Friends”Age Four Months

**Introducing the last of our 
“Friends” litter!** You might 
remember that Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel have found their perfect families. Now, it’s 
time for Joey, Ross, and Chandler to find theirs!

- **Joey**: A lynx point Siamese mix with stunning blue eyes.

- **Ross**: A sweet and gentle gray & white kitten.

- **Chandler**: A playful and affectionate brown tabby.

These boys adore kisses, are playful and curious, and love to 
cuddle and snuggle. We prefer they be adopted together or in 
pairs, unless there is another young, friendly cat at home.

Give Joey, Ross, and Chandler the loving homes they deserve, 
and let them bring endless joy and laughter to your life!

www.lifelineforpets.org/phoebe-chandler-joey-ross.html


Pet of the Week

 Sandy is such a sweetheart! This three-year-
old brown tabby is so happy to see you, she 
turns into a purr maching the moment you 
walk into the room with her. She has won 
over a lot of volunteers at Pasadena Humane. 
They adore her cute meows and willingness 
to receive all the attention they pour onto her. 
She loves pets and cuddles and if you bring 
her a treat, you might just be her favorite 
person ever!Sandy has an old leg injury 
that affects her mobility. It does not seem to 
bother her, but her dreams of competing in 
the Olympics may never be a reality. 

Sandy and all other cats over 6 months old 
can be adopted at no charge throughout June 
(Adopt-A-Cat Month)!

The adoption fee for cats is $100. All cat 
adoptions include spay or neuter, microchip, 
and age-appropriate vaccines.

 Walk-in adoptions are available every 
day from 2:00 – 5:00. For those who prefer, adoption appointments are available daily 
from 10:30 – 1:30, and can be scheduled online. View photos of adoptable pets at 
pasadenahumane.org.

 New adopters will receive a complimentary health-and-wellness exam from VCA 
Animal Hospitals, as well as a goody bag filled with information about how to care for 
your pet. 

 Pets may not be available for adoption and cannot be held for potential adopters by 
phone calls or email.


Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com