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OPINIONOPINION

Mountain View News Saturday, February 8, 2025

RICH JOHNSON 

THE ROMAN LUPERCALIA FESTIVAL

MOUNTAIN 
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STUART TOLCHIN

PUT THE LIGHTS ON


THIS MOMENT DEMANDS A NOBLE 
SACRIFICE


If you are currently in a solid romantic relationship and all cylinders are 
firing at peak performance, this Friday is a day to look forward to. You 
see, nothing quite compliments your romance as much as the Roman 
Lupercalia Festival. And if you are not in a romantic relationship 
currently, stand by. This may be your lucky day.

The Roman Lupercalia Festival (RLF) was an annual event in ancient Rome promoting 
prosperity and fertility. Seeking to maintain a solid “G” rating in my columns I am 
unable to get into the more intimate aspects of the festival celebration apart from one. 
This “tradition” we could recreate right here in Kersting Court. It would involve writing 
all the names of the eligible ladies in town on slips of paper and depositing them in 
a jar. At a designated hour on Valentines Day, eligible bachelors in town would line 
up and each draw a name randomly out of the jar and, “oom shaka laka” there was 
your betrothed. We could even have ministers of all faiths standing by to execute the 
wedding.

Who knows? Random selection might improve the percentage of successful marriages.

Back to Rome. As you might know from history, Rome eventually transitioned from 
paganism to Christianity. The Roman Lupercalia Festival was eventually replaced by 
what we know as Valentine’s Day. But before that happened…

Saint Valentine, a Roman Priest started secretly marrying couples. Had to do it in secret. 
You see, the Emperor at the time, Claudius II had strictly prohibited marriage believing 
single men made better soldiers. Well, eventually Claudius II arrested and executed 
Saint Valentine. (By the way, the very first Valentine’s card was given by Saint Valentine 
to his jailer’s daughter. The card was simply signed “Your Valentine”). 

Enough history. Let’s wrap this column up with quotes on love and marriage. Here goes:

“In a relationship, one person is always right and the other is the boyfriend” Anon

“I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for 
the rest of your life.” Rita Rudner

“I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve 
experienced pain and bought jewelry” Rita Rudner

“A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished” Zsa Zsa Gabor

“A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple days” Tim Allen

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will 
not. So each is inevitably disappointed” Albert Einstein

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury” Groucho Marx

“If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two books” Alan King

“An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the 
more interested he is in her” Agatha Christie

“What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married 
on his birthday” Cindy Garner

“People should fall in love with their eyes closed” Andy Warhol

And a few quotes on love from our newest generations of lovers:

“I love you more than my phone…and that says a lot.” Anon

“Relationships are like a walk in the park…Jurassic Park” Anon

“You’re the cheese to my macaroni” Anon

“If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber” Anon

“Love means never having to say ‘I’m sorry I ate all the chips’” Anon

“We’re like two peas in a pod. One of those peas is weird and annoying” Anon

And finally…my favorite:

On television just a little while ago I heard Senator Chris 
Murphy make the statement that this moment demands 
extraordinary tactics to combat the evil actions of the present 
governing powers. He is maintaining an all-night filibuster 
as a tactic designed to prevent the President from effectuating 
his most drastic measures. I am not going to count each 
action because if you do not know already or just do not care 
it is beyond my understanding. Our entire righteous democratic way of life is 
threatened.

Actually, I wonder why you do not care but may have some understanding. It 
is analogous to our reaction to the fires. Hearing about fires somewhere else, 
no matter how devastating the damage may be, only momentarily gets our 
attention. When the horror does not touch us personally our continued focus 
is limited. The fire that swept through our area recently is a vastly different 
matter. I will always remember that Tuesday night when my wife and I followed 
the order to evacuate our home. While driving west we looked to the north and 
saw the fire raging in the mountains just above us. Now that we are back in our 
home in the canyon I look up at the mountains and they are forever changed 
to me. I see danger rather than beauty. This Thursday morning the mountains 
have disappeared behind the rain and clouds which for me adds to the fear.

Returning to the Presidential actions most political actions always seemed 
far away to me. Now that I am over eighty and rarely leave the house other 
than to walk the dog or put out the trash cans on Wednesday or keep medical 
appointments at the nearby Kaiser. Rarely do I drive by myself and never at 
night. My wife takes care of everything including me as she has for thirty years. 
I give you all this information as background so you can understand why my 
options are limited. Yesterday I watched the news most of the day and by eleven 
P.M I was very depressed. My Social Security and the disability aid to my son 
along with our entire way of life is threatened. Prior to yesterday I had tried 
to follow my wife’s example and avoid the news completely. But yesterday I 
realized that avoiding the news was like walking in the forest with my eyes 
closed. Eventually, I would stumble over something, and I decided it was best to 
allow myself to be informed and try to do something significant to protect my 
family and the nation. 

Today, I reflect on a difficult choice, similar to the tough decisions made by 
people under oppressive regimes. With limited options, I decided to start 
drafting a book. This challenging task would occupy my mind and could have 
positive outcomes. I searched for examples online describing octogenarians 
achieving something significant for the first time in their 80s. The only notable 
example I found was Grandma Moses, who began painting at 84. While I may 
not become a painter, I aim to be a published writer, courageously sharing my 
story with the world.

The only other sacrifice that seems significant would be for me to avoid watching 
the Super Bowl. I have watched every single Super Bowl since the very first one 
in 1966 when my Law School roommate put broomsticks on our roof to act as 
antennae to view the game which was blacked out in Los Angeles. After my 
son was born in 1972, beginning the following year, I have watched every Super 
Bowl with him. I have already noted that a forced discontinuing of that activity 
would in fact be a sacrifice but also unnecessarily hurtful to my son who would 
not understand. It is hard for me to understand myself. 

Instead, I have decided to demonstrate sacrifice by preparing my own breakfast 
and washing my own clothes. I know this will not necessarily create a better 
nation but as a sacrifice it may make me a better husband which would be an 
extraordinary tactic and a welcomed act anyway. Meanwhile I will try and work 
on the book.

Yes, I am confused and desperate, but aren’t we all? I do hope the gods of 
democracy and civilized humanity are really somewhere and that they do care. 
I hope they understand that throwing virgins, male or female, is today not 
considered an acceptable sacrifice.


HOWARD Hays As I See It

“The Democrats don’t matter. The real opposition is 
the media. And the way to deal with them is to flood 
the zone with (crap).” – Former Donald Trump advisor 
Steve Bannon, 2018

 

I’m not “media”, just one who appreciates being able to express my 
views in the local paper. But I understand Bannon’s tactic: Take 
actions that would normally dominate news cycles for days, then immediately pile on 
others before the import of the prior ones can sink in.

 

My routine has been to consider recent events, then choose a topic to focus on for 
the col-umn. But that’s getting hard, with all the (crap) flooding in. Just in the week 
starting January 27, for example:

 

MONDAY

 

Justice Department officials fired for having been involved with criminal investigations 
of Trump.

 

US Centers for Disease Control ordered to end communications with the World 
Health Organi-zation.

 

White House freezes all “Federal financial assistance”, including foreign aid.

 

Transgender troops banned from military.

 

TUESDAY

 

California officials correct Trump’s claim he’d sent the “Military” who “turned on the 
wa-ter”. Workers opened channels down for maintenance, then proceeded to dump 
billions of gal-lons that Central Valley farmers were counting on for the dry months. 

 

Systems to access funding for Head Start, student financial aid, transportation and 
infrastructure projects shut down; Medicaid officials with no access to portals. Lawsuits 
filed, alleging fund-ing freeze violates Administrative Procedures Act.

 

Judge puts hold on funding freeze, citing how “The government doesn’t know the full 
scope of the programs that are going to be subject to the pause”.

 

Email sent to 2.3 million federal employees urging them to resign and accept buyout 
offer.

 

WEDNESDAY

 

White House withdraws funding freeze, blaming whatever confusion on the media.

 

Trump orders re-purposing of Guantanamo Bay to hold immigrants.

 

No survivors following crash between American Airlines flight and army helicopter 
above Reagan National Airport. Trump blames former Presidents Biden and Obama, 
former Transpor-tation Secretary Buttigieg and DEI.

 

 

THURSDAY

 

New FCC Chairman orders investigations into NPR and PBS.

 

Secretary of State Marco Rubio says Trump’s wanting to buy Greenland “is not a joke”.

 

Directors of the Center for Women Veterans and Center for Minority Veterans are 
fired. 

 

Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy orders that project funding "give preference to 
communities with marriage and birth rates higher than the national average".

 

FRIDAY

 

Justice Department orders FBI to provide names of agents who “at any time” had 
worked on the J6 investigations. Acting Director Brian Driscoll says the list “encompasses 
thousands of em-ployees across country” – including himself along with the 
acting deputy director. An agent says, “Even for those not fired, it sends the message 
that the bureau is no longer independent.”

 

CDC removes all references to HIV, LGBTQ, youth development issues, etc. from its 
websites – in order to “(Defend) Women From Gender Ideology Extremism”.

 

Trump Media gives its directors blocks of shares, worth $825K - including two of 
those directors up for cabinet posts; Linda McMahon (Education Secretary) and 
Kash Patel (FBI Director).

 

Employees at Office of Personnel Management are locked out of data systems, now 
under con-trol of Elon Musk and his crew – with access to over 2 million federal 
workers’ home addresses, Social Security numbers, pay grades, etc.

 

Acting Treasury Secretary David Lebryk quits over dispute granting Musk’s crew access 
to Treasury’s payment system – handling over six trillion in Social Security and 
Medicare payments, government salaries, tax refunds, contractor fees, etc.

 

And while all the above was happening, there were ongoing hearings on three of 
the most dan-gerously unqualified cabinet nominees; Tulsi Gabbard for Director of 
National Intelligence, RFK Jr. for Health and Human Services and Kash Patel for FBI 
Director.

 

Then came Trump’s tariffs against Canada, China and Mexico. Those holding stocks 
took a ma-jor hit, while hedge fund managers betting short on the market made a 
bundle. But Prime Minis-ter Trudeau of Canada and President Sheinbaum of Mexico 
knew how easily Trump could be played. They agreed to do what they’d been 
planning to do anyway, and let Trump boast he’d gotten what he wanted.

 

Just as that tariff drama was subsiding, we had snowballing alarms over Congress’ 
“power of the purse”, civil service protections and statutory control over government 
agencies being usurped not by President Trump, but by Elon Musk.

 

His crew took over and gutted the Agency for International Development. Security 
officials were put on leave for refusing them access to USAID personnel and security 
files without proper clearance. Musk’s team was identified by Wired as a half-dozen 
19-25-year-olds. Trump and Musk indicated their next target is the Department of 
Education.

 

Regarding that airline tragedy over the Potomac, the NTSB announced that further 
updates will come from one source only: Elon Musk’s X.

 

And now more federal employees are resisting; reminding that their allegiance is to 
our country, its laws and our Constitution - not to Donald Trump, and especially not 
to Elon Musk. 

 

That’s nearly thirty topics in the past week alone which would each warrant a column 
of its own. It’s only the second week of the Trump presidency and we’ve still got 206 
weeks to go. 

 

Now as I think I’m finishing up this column, Trump says, “We’ll take over the Gaza 
Strip . . . We’ll own it.”. 206 more weeks of this (crap) flooding the zone - and I haven’t 
even gotten to the White House attacks on Selena Gomez. 


Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com