Mountain Views News Saturday, February 21, 2026 
88 
Mountain Views News Saturday, February 21, 2026 
88 
ADULT CHILD'S GUILT 
TAKING A LOVED ONE 
TO ASSISTED LIVING 

For many families, few decisions are as emotionally 
heavy as moving a loved one into assisted 
living. The word itself can trigger guilt — as if 
choosing additional care somehow means giving 
up. But in reality, this decision is often rooted in 
love, safety, and responsibility. 

Adult children frequently promise their parents 
they will “never put them in a home.” Years later, 
when falls become more common, medications 
are missed, meals are skipped, or loneliness sets in, that promise can feel like a weight. Guilt creeps in 
quietly. Questions follow: Am I doing this for them, or for me? Could I try harder? What will others 
think? 

The truth is, assisted living communities today are very different from the outdated images many people 
carry. Modern communities offer private apartments, social activities, chef-prepared meals, medication 
management, and 24-hour support. For many seniors, the move actually improves quality of life — replacing 
isolation with engagement and worry with safety. 

Guilt often stems from love and a desire to protect. But caregiving at home can become overwhelming, 
especially when medical needs increase. Exhausted caregivers may struggle physically and emotionally, 
sometimes putting both themselves and their loved one at risk. Choosing assisted living can be an act of 
courage — recognizing that professional support may provide better overall care. 

It is also important to remember that moving a loved one does not mean abandoning them. Families 
remain deeply involved — visiting, advocating, celebrating holidays, and staying connected. The relationship 
often shifts from full-time caregiver back to son, daughter, or spouse. 

Ultimately, the goal is dignity, safety, and quality of life. Letting go of guilt does not happen overnight. 
But reframing the decision as one made out of compassion — not convenience — can help families move 
forward with confidence and peace. 


SENIOR HAPPENINGS 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! …FEBRUARY BIRTHDAYS* 


Tracy Verhoeven, Beatrice DaRe, Catherine Adde, Hilda Pittman, Anne-
Marie Stockdale, Susan Henderson, Allie Attay, Ursula El-Tawansy,
Gladys Moser, Sylvia Lorhan, Ana Ptanski, Winifred Swanson , Janet 
Gillespie, Marian DeMars, Vickie Vernon, Mary Beth Knox, Sharon 
Lefler. 

* To add your name to this distinguished list, please call the paper at 
626.355.2737. YEAR of birth not required 
OUT TO PASTOR 

A Weekly Religion Column by Rev. James Snyder 

NOBODY IS PERFECT - AT LEAST 
THAT'S WHAT I AM TOLD 


IS YOUR AGING PARENT SAFE AT HOME? 

Dear Savvy Senior, 

After watching the coverage of the NancyGuthrie kidnapping case, I’m worried about 
my own elderly mother who lives alone in another 
state. I want to make sure she’s safe without 
being intrusive. Are there simple, affordable 
ways to check in on her from afar?
--Concerned Son 


Dear Concerned, 

You’re not alone. High-profile cases like this often heighten fears, especially for adult children whose 
parents live alone and may be vulnerable. The good news is there are several free or low-cost ways to 
stay connected and gain peace of mind without infringing on your mother’s independence. Here are 
some nice options to consider. 

Check-In App 

If your mother uses a smartphone, a simple solution is Snug (snugsafe.com), a free app that checks in 
daily to confirm she’s OK. It’s used by tens of thousands of older adults who live alone and want their 
loved ones alerted quickly if something goes wrong. 

Here’s how it works: After downloading the app, your mother selects a daily check-in time. Snug sends 
several reminders leading up to that time, prompting her to confirm she’s OK by tapping a large green 
button on her screen. If she doesn’t check in within 10 minutes after her scheduled time, the app automatically 
notifies her emergency contacts and shares her last known location so help can be sent 
promptly. 

For added peace of mind, Snug also offers a Dispatch Plan ($20 per month or $200 per year) that includes 
multiple daily check-ins. If she misses one, Snug will call her directly to see if she’s OK. If there’s 
still no response, they can request an in-person wellness check by local authorities, who will visit her 
home to make sure she’s safe. The app works with both iPhone and Android devices. 

Check-In Calls 

If your mother doesn’t use a smartphone, a daily check-in call program can provide similar reassurance. 
Many police or sheriff ’s departments nationwide offer telephone reassurance programs, often free of 
charge. 

Typically, an automated system calls at a set time each day. If she answers, all is well. If she doesn’t pick 
up after repeated attempts, or the call goes to voicemail, her emergency contact is notified. If that contact 
can’t be reached, backup contacts are called. As a last resort, local police or emergency services maybe dispatched to her home. 

To see if this service is available in your mother’s community, call her local police department’s nonemergency 
number or the Area Agency on Aging at 800-677-1116. If no local program exists, private 
companies like CareCall or ConfirmOK offer similar services for a monthly fee. 

Technology Aids 

You might also consider simple home technology to enhance her safety. Monitored medical alert systems 
are among the most common – wearable “help buttons,” some with fall detection, that allow her to 
call for help 24/7 while immediately notifying you. These typically cost around $1 per day. 

Other options include motion or contact sensors placed around the home to track daily routines and 
alert you to unusual activity, or a small security camera with night vision, motion detection and two-
way audio that allows you to check in visually and even speak directly with her. Basic sensors and cameras 
can cost under $35, though they require Wi-Fi and do raise privacy considerations, so it’s important 
to discuss them with your mother beforehand.

 While no solution can eliminate every risk, these tools can provide meaningful peace of mind, for both 
you and your mother, while preserving her independence. 

Send your questions or comments to questions@savvysenior.org, or to Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, 
Norman, OK 73070. 


People often say nobody is perfect. I've said that at least 100 times,
but there are times when I am not quite sure that it applies to me. 

There are some situations when I think I am perfect. I do not say it 
aloud because I do not want to step on anybody's toes. But I believe I am perfect, I keepbelieving it, and then reality hits like a pie in my face. 

When I think I am perfect, I reach a stage so imperfect that I am ashamed. I work hard 
at trying to be perfect. My goal I have in life is to do things perfectly. Up until now, I 
have not reached my goal, but I’ve come close. 

I like to be around people who think they are perfect. It is easy to trip them up in what 
they believe about themselves. 

To be truthful, the only person I know who is perfect is The Gracious Mistress of the 
Parsonage. I have known her for over 55 years, and if she is not perfect, she has put up a 
good face for all those years. She knows how to fix anything and everything. 

I will never forget when the front bumper of my truck broke. I was going to take it to the 
garage to have them fix it, but as I was looking at the bumper, The Gracious Mistress of 
the Parsonage came out of the house and said, "What's the problem with your truck?" 

Really, I didn't want to tell her, but what's a husband to do? I looked at her and said,
"The front bumper of my truck is broken and I'm going to have to take it into the garage 
to get fixed." 

"No," she said, "let me look at it before you take it to the garage. Maybe it's somethingI can fix." 

I chuckled because that was a big job to fix. 

She looked at it for a moment and then said, "Okay, I see what's wrong and I think I can 
fix this. Let me go to my craft room and get something I think might work." 

She went into the house and, within a few moments, came out with several of those 
large paperclips. She went over to the bumper and began working on it, and within a 
few moments, she said, "Okay, I think I fixed the bumper, you don't have to spend any 
of your money taking it to the garage." 

Looking at me with one of her smiles, she said, “You’re welcome.” Then she walked back 
into the house. 

I didn't quite get what she said, but I looked, and there were a bunch of those large paperclips 
holding the bumper to the truck. 

To this day, I do not know how she came up with that idea. 

That was about five years ago, and those paperclips are still holding my bumper to the 
truck. Who would have guessed? 

She does have a flair for fixing anything and everything. If you could see in her craft 
room, you would see what I'm talking about. If it is broken, she can fix it. If she can't fix 
it, it's not broken. 

With that in mind, I have concluded, after all these years, that she is as close to being 
perfect as anyone I know. 

The only difference is that she likes broccoli and I hate broccoli, and I like Apple Fritters, 
and she hates Apple Fritters. All those years, this has been the only problem we 
have. 

Occasionally, she will cook broccoli for supper, but makes sure it does not come anywhere 
near my plate. I know when she's cooking broccoli because I can smell it, and I 
do not like that smell. 

The other night at suppertime, she brought me my supper plate, then went out and got 
one for herself, and came back. We sat in the room and enjoyed our supper together 
while watching TV. 

I saw something on my plate that puzzled me. It was something green. I did not pay 
too much attention because the rest of the plate was very delicious. However, I could 
not help but look at that little green thing. It looked like a leaf of some sort, but it was 
so small. 

As I looked at it, sighed very deeply and said to myself, "Oh, no, it is not that!" 

I looked at it, picked it up with my fork, and it was exactly what I thought it was. I called 
the attention of The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage, showed it to her, and said, "Can 
you explain this for me?" 

She gasped for a moment, looked at the little green thing on my fork, and sighed verydeeply, "Oh, no, it isn't." She looked at it a little more and said, "I'm so sorry, it is a piece 
of broccoli." 

I could not believe it, but as I looked at it, I had to agree with her. This is the one time 
that I can remember when she was not perfect. 

Thinking along this line, I remembered a Bible verse about this. “Be ye therefore perfect, 
even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). 

I cannot be perfect from the human standpoint, but I can achieve perfection in the 
spiritual realm. The pattern of my perfection is not anything in this world, but according 
to God’s aspiration for me. 

Dr. James L. Snyder lives in Ocala, FL with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. 
Telephone 1-352-216-3025, e-mail jamessnyder51@gmail.com, website www.jamessnyderministries.
com. 


Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com