Mountain Views News          Saturday, March 2, 2013

14

OPINION

 Mountain Views News Saturday, January 12, 2013 

CONGRESS HAS 
MUNCHAUSEN BY PROXY

STUART Tolchin..........On LIFE

TINA DUPUY 

Mountain 
Views

News

PUBLISHER/ EDITOR

Susan Henderson

CITY EDITOR

Dean Lee 

EAST VALLEY EDITOR

Joan Schmidt

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LaQuetta Shamblee

SENIOR COMMUNITY 
EDITOR

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CONTRIBUTORS

Chris Leclerc

Bob Eklund

Howard Hays

Paul Carpenter

Stuart Tolchin

Kim Clymer-Kelley

Christopher Nyerges

Peter Dills 

Hail Hamilton 

Rich Johnson

Chris Bertrand

Ron Carter

Rev. James Snyder

Bobby Eldridge

Mary Carney

Katie Hopkins

Deanne Davis

Despina Arouzman

Greg Wellborn

Dr. John Talevich

Ben Show

Sean Kayden

Jasmine Kelsey Williams


WE CAN ALL BE JEWS

 Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, now referred to as 
Factious Disorder by Proxy or FDbP, is where a parent or 
caretaker enjoys the attention of having a sick child so they 
exaggerate and sometimes induce their victim’s symptoms. 
Children are made to be sick; parents are given sympathy 
for their seeming stoicism. It’s adulation-seeking via child 
abuse.

 In this case the caretaker is Congress (specifically the 
Republican-controlled House) and the thing they’re 
enjoying making unwell is, well, us: the country, our economy, postal services, 
meat inspections, air traffic control, infrastructure, law enforcement, military, 
credit rating, commerce, and every other part of a country thought of around the 
globe as a super power.

 This disorder can sometimes be traced to an early legit emergency, where the 
caregiver with FDbP first experiences the rush of admiration they’ll later crave. 
For the GOP it’s probably September 11, 2001. It was on that day the then-leader 
of the Republican party (the same dude the GOP no longer acknowledges exists, 
they’ll even listen to Mitt Romney speak before uttering his name) finally got to do 
everything he wanted without question — all with an over (and brief) 80 percent 
approval rating. He preemptively invaded Iraq without paying for it, flattened 
wages, made the rich richer and transformed higher education into a profit-driven 
industry. More importantly he got Democrats to shut up while he pretended 
drunken-sailor-spending was compassionate conservatism.

 So the idea was planted: The country in peril equals Republicans to the rescue! 
Even more important: Republican ideas — no matter how unsound — getting 
implemented.

 “My child is SICK — quick cut taxes!!”

 And when deregulating the banking industry led to widespread fraud and abuse 
that ended up buckling our economy — causing another crisis — again Republicans 
got to do what they’ve always wanted; privatize profits and nationalize losses. 
The Republican-president-who-will-not-be-named bailed out the banks – those 
bastions (bastards) of the alleged and largely make-believe free market, saying 
famously, “I’ve abandoned free market principles to save the free market system.”

Which is akin to saying you’ve abandoned religion to save the church.

 “My baby is running a fever! Hurry up and give wealthy white-collar criminals 
money and immunity!!”

 After Republicans lost the White House in 2008 they decided if Obama succeeds, 
it’ll be bad for them. It was about getting back those glorious not-spoken-about-
GOP-president years when they could rack up debt and use the word “liberal” like 
it means skin lice. And as soon as the GOP got control of the House the government 
has been on the verge of a shutdown virtually every month.

Republicans get to hold vigils (press conferences) lamenting the suffering of the 
country they’ve sworn to protect, while we all stare at our televisions with a creepy 
feeling and a suspicion we’re not quite able to place.

Republican Factious Disorder by Proxy: “We love our country; we’re the unsung 
heroes of this inexplicable illness (we’re inducing). All we ask is that you’ll make 
our monument on the National Mall tasteful.”

 Our ailments are fabricated by Republicans and the antidotes are also fabricated 
by Republicans. Our spending problem? They made it and now only they can fix 
it. Our deficit? “Reagan proved that deficits don’t matter,” said Veep Dick Cheney. 
Now? They matter. Especially to Republicans who like to use the word “Reagan.” 
They’ve shown their willingness to shut down the government (downgrading our 
credit in the process) to reduce the deficit. They’re basically sabotaging the country 
and calling it, laughably, patriotism. Or even worse — common sense.

Obama, for his part, keeps on trying to govern by consensus with a Republican 
party that waits for consensus so they can oppose it.

 They have to, in effect, abandon their principles in order to save their principles 
(see: the individual mandate; Chuck Hagel; the DREAM Act etc.).

 Make sense? Of course not. It’s still a guiding ideology for the party of Bush, post-
Bush.

 We have a factious disorder because of our factually dysfunctional opposition 
party. Budget showdown, debt-ceiling, fiscal cliff, sequestration – these are all 
symptoms of grand scale Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome.

 Yes, it’s twisted. And yes, we’re sick … and tired of it.

Tina Dupuy is an award-winning writer and the editor-in-chief of TheContributor.
com. Tina can be reached at tinadupuy@yahoo.com.

 This column has been edited by the author. Representations of fact and opinions are 
solely those of the author.

 Today was a 
rather strange day 
for me. According to 
some questionable 
calculations I have 
now succeeded in 
living one day longer 
than my farther. I say questionable 
because, even ignoring the possibility 
and /or probability of my computational 
errors, I am unsure of the actual date of 
my father’s birth. He once explained to 
me that in the Ukraine Jews did not have 
birthdays. One calculated the date of 
one’s birth by noting that it fell between 
certain Jewish Holidays and that was close 
enough. I gathered from what he told me 
that there was something slightly obscene 
about the whole Birthday mishegoss. 
That Yiddish word is generally translated 
as craziness or insanity but like many 
translations it is inadequate. The word 
is used to describe the complicated 
interactions that envelope and consume 
our lives but at their heart are just 
nonsense which obscure the real meaning 
of existence.

 At least that’s what I think it 
means. I have never had any training 
in Yiddish but have been surrounded by 
these magical Yiddish words for all of 
my life having only a vague contextual 
understanding of what the words mean. 
Similarly I have a vague understanding 
of the overall Eastern European Jewish 
ethic. I think it can be explained by the 
traditional absence of the emphasis on 
individual birthdays. To be a Jew is to 
appreciate the gift of life and the joy of 
appreciating other people. Even the 
traditional Bar Mitzvah was intended to 
recognize that he who was once a boy 
has now become a man ready to fully 
contribute to the Community. Yes I 
know the ethic has changed in good 
old Protestant America and today’s Bar 
Mitzvahs and Bat Mitzvahs are something 
very different. I am disappointed to say 
that the ethic of the impoverished Eastern 
European Jew is disappearing along 
with their language. Abundance and 
success have changed things along with 
the holocaust and the establishment of 
Hebrew as the language of Israel. I am a 
first-generation Jew and I am very proud 
of that fact although this pride has little 
to do with contemporary Jews. I have 
no religious training and am a life-long 
atheist; but I believe that I am a part of 
a tradition and this tradition, rather than 
any religion is my guide.

 Three years ago in my article 
of March 6, 2010 I included a picture of 
my father on the occasion of what would 
have been his 100th birthday. In that 
article entitled, “Americans-We’ll Handle 
It Just Like My Dad Did” I talked about 
the way my Dad dealt with his blindness 
and how I first became aware of it. The 
first symptoms involved difficulties in 
adapting from sunlight to the more 
darkened conditions in tunnels. The 
limited light required my Dad to scrape 
along the right curb until he emerged 
from the tunnel and could see again. This 
is one of my scariest memories—not the 
scraping or the fear of an accident but 
instead the realization of the incredible 
internal strength my Dad found and used 
in order to support our family. 

 Today, in order to celebrate my 
secret milestone of at least living as long 
as my father, I took the day off and went 
to Universal Studios with my son and 
his girl-friend. They had a special one-
day pass that allowed a guest to attend 
without cost. Today I was their guest and 
I had the rare privilege of seeing them 
kind of just hanging together. As regular 
readers and my friends know both my 
son and his girl-friend are disabled-adults 
with all kinds of physical, emotional, and 
mental problems. Additionally, my son 
has had

severe eye problems resulting in the loss 
of vision in one eye and severe restrictions 
in the other. Furthermore, his dark-
light reaction is impaired such that he is 
unable to see in conditions of diminished 
light, sort of like my Dad in 1956. Today, 
the thing that was so gratifying to me 
was the way in which my son and his girl 
friend navigated the semi-darkness. No 
complaining, no fear; when necessary she 
just led him through the tunnels and the 
darkened rooms. When we were in the 
light my son showed great mastery of the 
amusement park grounds and led us from 
ride to ride with admirable ease.

 I had a great time and so did they. 
We are all doing just fine. I experience my 
family, even my successful daughter too 
busy doing pro-bono work to ever find 
the time to read this article, as carrying 
on the tradition of caring and loving 
and persevering; and neither my kids 
nor I were bar-mitzvahed. Really, it’s 
all mishegoss; just another problematic 
part of life; but this life, even at my 
rapidly advancing age is still one heluva 
lot of fun. It is a pleasure to recall the 
contributions and sacrifices your own 
parents and relatives have made for you 
and to appreciate the way you support 
those you love and care for. That’s the 
tradition and the more you can extend 
that loving and caring to the whole world 
the more Jewish you are. Just like my wife 
the ever-caring Ms. Aguilera, or is it that 
she’s just being Mexican? 

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OUT TO PASTOR 

A Weekly Religion Column by Rev. James Snyder


AS I WAS SAYING TO MYSELF...

 Along about Friday of this past week I noticed a strange 
phenomenon stalking the parsonage. Actually, it is not that 
strange to notice something strange at our parsonage. The first 
thing I do every morning when I go into the bathroom and 
look into the mirror I see something really strange. 

 This was something just a little bit different in the strange 
category. I suppose strange has a wide range of categories and levels and whatnot. 
That being said, I am not quite sure to which level of strangeness this phenomena 
that I discovered this past week belongs.

 This past week I was on my own. My wife had left me. Actually, I bought her a ticket 
to send her to upstate New York, which turned out to be the coldest week in New 
York. Not to mention the snow. And please, don’t mention the snow.

 I am not accustomed to being on my own. The notorious trinity; me, myself and 
I can get into a lot of trouble. However, I was by myself for this week and in charge 
of everything.

 I drove my wife to the airport, returned and spent my first night alone. I celebrated 
by eating in bed. Oh, the crumbs, the blessed crumbs were all around. Nothing says 
home more than crumbs in your bed. Normally, potato chips are not permitted in 
the bedroom but then, this is not normally.

 I got up the next morning, sniffed the air and noticed something strange. Usually 
every morning I get up and smell coffee brewing. Where in the world is the coffee? I 
asked myself. I went into the kitchen and no coffee was brewing.

Then it dawned on me. I’m in charge. Ha. Ha.

 I grinned a big grin as I brewed my morning coffee, and the day was set. I left the 
house for my office as I usually do. All day long, I labored at my laboring, and then 
it was time to go home.

 I went home and sat in my chair to watch some evening news. I began to realize 
something was wrong.

 I said to myself, “Where is supper?”

Then it dawned on me. I’m in charge. Ha.

 I did not smile as much as I shuffled into the kitchen to look for something 
resembling supper. I raided the refrigerator of all the foodstuff I could find. Then I 
put my supper together and gravitated to the table to enjoy my supper.

 After the first bite of what I called my “supper,” I said to myself, “Yuck, this certainly 
is not the fare I’m used to.” I crunched it all and washed it down with 3 gallons of 
lukewarm coffee. Do not let this get back to anybody that you might know or that 
might know me, but I am a lousy cook.

 As I thought about this, I begin to evaluate the situation. It is not my fault I am a 
bad cook. The fault must lie with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. She does 
all the cooking around here and her cooking is so marvelous that anything I might 
set on the table is “yuck-fare” in comparison. Through the years, she has adequately 
trained me to appreciate fine dining.

 I tried to make a mental note about this but could not find a pencil at the time.

Then on Friday, I ran out of underwear. This is something new for me because it has 
never happened before. I searched through my dresser drawers and could not find 
any underwear. They have always been in my dresser drawers for as long as I can 
remember. Now, they are nowhere to be found.

 I cast a wistful eye in the direction of the washer/dryer and noticed a huge pile 
of dirty underwear. I can never remember this happening before. I said to myself, 
“Why has nobody done the laundry?” After all, I can never remember a time when 
the laundry has piled up quite as much as it has this week.

 Then it dawned on me. I’m in charge.

 Not really knowing how to do laundry, I tried to work out a plan of recycling my 
underwear. After all, my wife is an expert at recycling. She recycles everything.

 It was late Friday morning when I noticed this afore-mentioned strange 
phenomenon. For the whole week, I have been talking to myself. That was not the 
strange thing. The strange thing was, I noticed late Friday morning, not only was I 
talking to myself, but I was answering myself and many times arguing with myself. 
Now the problem is, who is really winning the argument?

 I then remembered what the Bible says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that 
the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18 KJV).

Even God knows that the man He created needs a companion or “help meet” to 
fulfill his life. Sometimes we are apt to forget the provisions God has made for us. 
However, if a person comes to the Bible with an open mind and an open heart, he 
or she will discover that God has our best interest in mind for the longest period of 
time.

 Instead of talking to myself, I spent a little time talking to God and thanking Him 
for the wonderful provisions He has made for my life both now and eternally.

Rev. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, PO Box 831313, 
Ocala, FL 34483. He lives with his wife, Martha, in Silver Springs Shores. E-mail 
jamessnyder2@att.net. His web site is www.jamessnyderministries.com.

CREATIVE EXCUSES FOR 
EVERY OCCASION


RICH Johnson

Before I get to my 
topic I felt I needed 
to share some 
valuable culinary 
information. A few 
months ago I had a 
steak (new York) at 
Corfu Restaurant here in Sierra Madre. 
My gosh it was one of the best steaks I 
have ever had. Equal to Ruth’s Chris 
Steak house or any of the other top 
places. Well a couple of months later 
I had opportunity to eat at Corfu and 
again had steak. And it was just as good. 
So I wanted to write about it but you 
know first time can be a fluke. Second 
time can be a coincidence. But a third 
time proves its how they do business. 
And Tuesday night I had steak again at 
Corfu. And it was grand. 

So, now, we can all use a primer on 
creative excuses for regular everyday 
occasions. Here are some examples. 

Not buying girl scout cookies 

Old excuse: I’m on a diet, or I bought 
some from my niece.

New excuse: It’s a big hoax. The girls 
don’t even bake them.

Bringing uninvited guests to a function 

Old excuse: They showed up at the last 
minute. Hope you don’t mind.

New excuse: I thought you knew. We 
don’t go anywhere without bodyguards.

Bringing uninvited kids 

Old excuse: The sitter canceled at the 
last minute.

New excuse: We had to. It’s the only 
way they would let us have the car.

Not eating the meal prepared by the host 

Old excuse: I had no idea it was a dinner 
party. I already ate.

New excuse: I’m sorry I can’t eat this. It 
was the last meal my mother ate the night 
she was executed. She was innocent by 
the way.

Not dancing 

Old excuse: I don’t know how

Old excuse 2: I have two left feet.

New excuse: Look at how warped this 
floor is.

New excuse 2: I’d hate to show off in 
front of all these lovely people. They’re 
trying so hard.

Double parking 

Old excuse: I’ll only be a minute. I’m in 
a hurry.

New excuse: I think I’m being followed 
and this is the best way to get the 
attention of the police.

Not offering to get money out of the ATM 

Old excuse: I forgot my PIN number.

New excuse: I’m opposed to machines 
putting tellers out of work.

Not wearing makeup 

Old excuse: I overslept and didn’t have 
time to put any on.

New excuse: After I read about how 
they test cosmetics on cute little bunnies 
I swore never to wear makeup again.

New excuse 2: It’s so warm out I thought 
it would just drip off my face.

And finally, Speeding 

Old excuse: Everyone else was speeding 
too.

Old excuse 2: My speedometer must be 
broken.

New excuse: I drive a big car so I can 
speed and still be safe.

Well, there you have it. Useful 
information for our everyday lives. 
Please don’t thank me. Just go buy some 
girl scout cookies cause I feel guilty. And 
if you don’t want to eat them there are 
two things you can do. First, they have 
a plan to donate them to soldiers if you 
buy them. I also will buy them and tell 
the girls they have to eat them for me.

Mountain Views News

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