Mountain Views News, Combined Edition Saturday, December 2, 2023

MVNews this week:  Page 13



 Mountain Views News Saturday, December 2, 2023 







Susan Henderson


Dean Lee 



Patricia Colonello




John Aveny 


Peter Lamendola


Stuart Tolchin 

Harvey Hyde

Audrey Swanson

Meghan Malooley

Mary Lou Caldwell

Kevin McGuire

Chris Leclerc

Dinah Chong Watkins

Howard Hays

Paul Carpenter

Kim Clymer-Kelley

Christopher Nyerges

Peter Dills 

Rich Johnson

Lori Ann Harris

Rev. James Snyder

Katie Hopkins

Deanne Davis

Despina Arouzman

Jeff Brown

Marc Garlett

Keely Toten

Dan Golden

Rebecca Wright

Hail Hamilton

Joan Schmidt

LaQuetta ShambleE




 Exactly when does old age start? I don’t know 
the answer but mine has definitely begun. What I have 
noticed is that other than going to doctors and taking 
pills, and hunting on the floor for the pills I drop there’s 
not much going on. I have a few medical procedures 
scheduled which kind of frighten me but I can handle 
that. What is troubling is that the procedures require 
that I travel to Hollywood which is a pretty long drive for 
me. Already my wife and daughter do not trust me to drive and require me 
to drive with them or drive alone. Also my car is a problem. My mechanic 
at the local gas station (remember when you could justifiably call them 
service stations) has already told me that my transmission is about to go 
and that getting a new transmission will cost thousands of dollars. This is 
more than I paid for it a couple of years so I have decided to just drive the 
car until it dies.

 In a way the car and I are in the same position, whether I like to 
think about it or not, we’re just waiting around to die. One thing I wanted 
to accomplish was to compile all of my weekly articles written beginning 
in November 2007 into a book so that my four year old granddaughter 
could read them in about ten years or so assuming she might be interested. 
It would be nice but it’s kind of doubtful. My wife found an old 
letter perhaps written by father, at least signed by him, on the occasion 
of his grandchildren’s, my children, birthday which was yesterday. They 
were born on the same day and when people ask me how did that happen 
I always kiddingly respond that this is what occurs if you do it only once 
a year whether you want to or not. This is my idea of a joke which no one 
but me laughs at

 The letter was signed by my father and is written on bland paper 
with the lines not really being very close to horizontal across the page. My 
Dad have this sort of a wire guide with spaces between the edges which 
was supposed to help me as he navigated across the page. Probably my 
mom helped him and he undoubtedly wanted to do it by himself as best as 
he could. In 1975 he had already been pretty much blind for about fifteen 
years but had continued to work every day as a salesman meeting with different 
customers with my mom as his assistant and driver. I’m sure this 
was very traumatic for both of them but in our family nobody complained 
very much about anything and just kind of accepted whatever happened as 
part of the game of life.

 I’m probably being simplistic and I am sure that my mom was 
pretty disappointed since when they first got together during wartime my 
father had a very successful jewelry business with an office downtown on 
Wabash in Chicago. After the war the business fell apart I guess partly 
because the Soldiers were no longer overseas and had less need to but presents 
to be remembered. She certainly did not expect to become by father’s 
caretaker which is what she was forced to become much like my wife has 
become my caretaker even though I hate the idea and resist it as much as I 

 This year the Colleges and the TV stations have decided to terminate 
the PAC 12 conference to my great displeasure. For something like 
25 years, I have had Season Tickets to all the Home UCLA games at the 
Rose Bowl and especially enjoyed conference games. Does that loss mean 
anything to anyone else? As I have aged I noticed that other people have 
become less and less important to me and I complain about isolation for all 
I seem to do when I am around others is to tell them how to live their lives. 
Pretty annoying I guess; but maybe there should be some compassion for 
the elderly and old people should be encouraged to run for President and 
run the country so that a least a few of them will have something to do. 
Please forgive me, I am already pretty old and nothing makes much sense 
anymore. How are you feeling?

Don’t know if you knew this or not, but I hope to be a writer someday.

Good writer? Bad writer? That’s won’t be up to me. It’s up to you.

I am also a musician and a songwriter. And one of my favorite original 
songs is entitled, “I Lied”. It was about a friend of mine who lied at the DMV. Someday I’ll 
play it for you…a lie?

Singer/Songwriter Tom Waits said, “Most people don’t care if you’re telling them the truth 
or if you’re telling them a lie, as long as they’re entertained by it. You find that out really 

Are there ever good reasons to lie? Sometimes you don’t want to offend others by telling 
them what you really think about something. 80% of us humans admit to lying, (the rest 
are lying), 37% believe it’s never okay to lie. And 50% firmly believe honesty is the best 

And who knows…I could be lying right now about all these percentages and numbers.

I’ll leave you with usable excuses. Practice these in front of a mirror until you look totally 
believable. Uh, I’ve used them all.

1. Grandma tried to poison me…again

2. I had to attend the funeral of a friend’s pet

3. My false teeth flew out the window driving to work

4. My fish was sick

5. I was bitten by a duck 

6. I accidentally drove to my former job

7. My uniform caught fire drying it in the microwave

8. I woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.

9. My kid stuck a mint up his nose. We’re at the ER

10. A cow broke into my house. Waiting for the insurance man

11. My employee forgot he had been hired for the job

12. I just couldn’t decide what to wear

13. I caught a cold from my puppy

14. I forgot it wasn’t the weekend

15. My mother-in-law wouldn’t stop talking

16. I would never lie…to you

17. The dog ate my work schedule

18. I’m at the office. I fell asleep in the car

19. The universe was telling me to take the day off

And my favorite: “You call that an excuse?”

The magnificent Doo Drops are returning to Nano Café on December 9th. That’s Saturday 
night, 6:30-9:30pm. Their music is sensational, highlighting a 5 piece band, and 4-5 sensational 
vocalists performing.

And JJ Jukebox is playing Saturday night, December 30th at Nano Café. Saturday night, 
regular 6:30 – 9:30.

Good dining, full bar, rock and roll, dancing. Call (626) 325-3334 to make reservations for 
both events.

Mountain Views News 
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Madre; in Court Case 
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Which grandma will receive the Final Rose - Theresa 70, 
the self-taught financier or Leslie 64, the physical fitness 
trainer? Gerry 72, the first “Golden Bachelor” on ABC’s hit 
reality series has upended the traditional view of seniors as 
aged, Tiger Balm scented door stops on the porch and offered 
us a look of what most adult children never want to 
see the prospect of grandpa/ma knocking boots together in the Fantasy Suite.

With the advance of medical knowledge and technology, coupled with personal 
mental and physical awareness, the last decade has seen an explosion of 
health-focused “older peoples” (the current government approved label), in the 
spotlight. Example No.1 - Martha Stewart who went from preparing the perfect 
bouillabaisse to rolling artisan blunts.

“Youth is wasted on the young” wrote George Bernard Shaw, good thing we can 
still crystallize it as our profile picture on Facebook, and dating apps SilverSingles, 
eharmony or OurTime. How many blind dates went askew when the 
couple unknowingly passed each other in the coffee shop, each one expecting 
someone a couple of decades younger and wondering,

“Is that an AirPod or a hearing aid?”

But as much as the Millennials and Generations X, Z scoff at the Baby Boomers 
primitive grasp of the evolving technological landscape, Boomers can do the 
very thing that is the Mt. Everest obstacle to their younger peers. 

Boomers have grown up at the knees of menus with only 3 items, a Large Coke 
topping out at 12 ounces, riding in the car without seatbelts, getting off the 
couch to change the TV channel and sharing the one phone line with all their 
family members (no long distance calls until after the 8 pm discounted rate). 
Boomers know how to chi ku. Literally “to eat bitterness” in Chinese. It’s an 
idiom and virtue defined as persevering through hardship without complaint. 
What’s hardship for under 60’s? Drinking water. 

Drinking water today is filtered, fruity, foreign sourced, front loaded with vitamins, 
probiotics, electrolytes and health-trendy fillers, but look beyond that at 
the containers. Half gallon status statements that are influencer branded, BPA 
free, insulated, leak-proof and a deal-breaker unless it’s dishwasher safe. 

What did Boomers do when they were thirsty and outdoors? Grabbed the nearest 
garden hose. Ahh, the memory of hot, sun baked, water gushing out from a 
green and yellow striped hose. I miss that light, lingering aftertaste of industrial 

For those who grew up with on-demand entertainment vs network appointment 
television, all access telecommunications vs the rotary dial, Google vs the Encyclopedia 
Brittanica, jeggings vs bell bottoms, computer-generated green screen 
Guardians of the Galaxy vs 10 foot sock puppet H.R. Pufnstuf (don’t ask, Google 
it), we say, “You can stay relevant too.”

In 30+ years, all you need to do is grab a pair of Top Gun aviator glasses and put 
yourself on the ballot.

Dinah Chong Watkins column appears every 1st and 3rd Saturday of the month. 
For more Close Encounters Of The Wrong Kind go to


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