Mountain View News June 20, 2026 


CHRISTOPHER NYERGES 

[Nyerges is the author of “Urban Survival Guide,” “ExtremeSimplicity,” and other books. Information about his books and 
classes is available at www.SchoolofSelf-Reliance.com] 

REMEMBERING MY FATHER 

When my father’s 80th birthday coincided with Father’s Day many years ago, Iwrote a pictorial booklet for my father which outlined key aspects of our life together. It was my way ofthanking my father. My wife and I went to his home after the wild cacophonous family gathering hadended. We didn’t want an audience in an atmosphere of laugher, sarcasm, and possibly ridicule. I onlywanted to share the thank you story with my father in a somewhat serious atmosphere. 

We brought some special foods, put on some music, and I began my short presentation beginning withmy earliest significant memories. I shared with him my memories of how he told me I would be anartist when I grew up. He always told me to put my bike and toys away, so "the boogeyman" wouldn’tsteal them. As I grew older, I learned that the world was indeed full of very real "boogeymen" and myfather attempted to provide me with ways to protect myself against these unsavory elements of life. 

I recalled to my father the birthday party adventures, getting hair cuts in the garage, and how my fathertolerated my interest in mycology and wild edibles. 

Everyone found the recounting amusing, even funny, but there were also tears mixed with the laughter.
As with most memories, some things my father recalled quite differently from me, and some he didn’trecall at all. Some things that I saw as life-and-death serious, he saw as humorous, and vice versa. 

But above it all, I felt I’d finally "connected" with him at age 80 in a way that I’d never managed to dobefore. My "fathers day card" wasn’t pre-made by a card company, but consisted of my own private andsecret memories that I shared with him. I managed to thank him for doing all the things that I took forgranted – a roof over my head, meals, an education, a relatively stable home. 

Of course, all our family members – "insiders" – knew that my father was no saint. But I was at leastacknowledging the good, and sincerely thanking him for it. 

My mother died two years later, and we all knew my father would be lost without her. They’d beenmarried over 50 years. His health and activities declined and he finally passed away on the Ides ofMarch a few years later. 

Though his death did not come as a surprise – I was nevertheless left feeling his absence. That earlySaturday morning when I learned of his death, I even felt parent-less. My view of the world changedand I was forced to acknowledge the limits of life and the futility of pursuing solely a material existence. 

After I learned of his death via a phone call, I walked out into the morning rain, in shock, crying,
thinking, remembering. I was not feeling cold or wet, and somehow I was protected by that uniquestate of mind that enshrouded me. 

During the next three days, I did as I had done with my mother when she died. I spent the next threedays reviewing my life with my father. 

At first I allowed the random memories and pain to wash over me. I talked to Frank constantly duringthose three days, inviting and allowing him to be with me as we did the life review together. I felt hispain, his frustration, his emptiness and loneliness in his last few years of life. I did nothing to stop thepain of this – I allowed myself to feel it all. 

I spoke to Frank as I’d speak to anyone living. I felt his presence and even his responses. I did this formyself as much as for Frank and his on-going journey.

 I began to see him as a young man, who met, fell in love, and married my mother. Somehow, this wasa major revelation to me. I had never seen my own father in that light before. He had simply been "myfather." Suddenly, he was a unique individual, with his own dreams, aspirations, and goals. Amazingly,
I’d never viewed him in this way during our life together.

 And then, after perhaps 12 hours of this, and miles of walking, I began a more chronological review ofmy life with my father, point by point by significant point. I saw his weaknesses and strengths, as well asmy own. As I did this review, I looked for all the things that I’d done right with my father, all the thingsI’d done wrong, and all the things that I could have done better. I wrote these down, and the "wrong"
list was shockingly long. The "right" list only contained a few items! 

I asked my father to forgive me, and I resolved to do certain things differently in order to change andimprove my character. I know I would not have imposed such a rigor upon myself had it not been forthe death of my father. 

A week later, when there was the funeral at the church, I felt that I’d come to know my father more thanI ever was able to do in life. I briefly shared to the congregation my three days of "being with" my father,
and learning what it was like to be Frank, in his shoes, and how we forgave one another. 

More importantly, I shared to family and friends gathered that day the importance of constantlyfinding the time to tell your living loved ones that you indeed love them, not waiting until they die tosay the things that you should be saying all along. 

I remember Frank now on Father’s Day, and continue to express my heart-felt thanks for all that he –
and my mother – gave to me. 


Sweet Dottie is a purr-fect kittyforever! Dottie is small, affectionate, 
and playful. She loves to snuggle withher brohers, but she’s quite a “girly 
girl,” known for her distinguishing 


Pet of the Week 
you meowingfor you to hurry with the food. It's adorable. 
Come meet Dottie and her siblings: Ollie, Rocky, or Sammy, attheir foster home. They will bless your life with love and fun.
Apply at https://www.lifelineforpets.org/mindys-kittens.html orscan the qr code.
eyebrows, which is definitely a "girlthing!" She loves to be brushed, and will quietly call you over to brush her on her favoritescratch mat, which will go with her when she's adopted, of course. petted. 

Dottie always greets you with a meow when you reach for her, and will purr quietly whenpetted. She also loves to eat, and will run from her eating spot to

 Regan is a lovable 4-year-old pit bull with anincredible personality and a big, wiggly smile.
She’s an affectionate, people-friendly girl whohappily accepts pets, takes treats gently, andalready knowns how to “sit” and “lie down”.
Regan enjoys getting out and exploring theworld, spending plenty of time sniffing alongher walks, and enjoying some time couch-sidewatching the World Cup.

 While she can be enthusiastic on leash, Reganhas shown she can walk calmly, handle newsituations well, and has quickly become a staffand volunteer favorite. With her sweet nature, 
happy energy, and loving heart, Regan is readyto find a family of her own. Come meet Reganand see why she’s impossible not to love!Theadoption fee for dogs is $150. All dog adoptionsinclude spay or neuter, microchip, and age-
appropriate vaccines. Walk-in adoptions are 
available every day from 9:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m. 

View photos of adoptable pets at 
pasadenahumane.org.New adopters will receive a complimentary health-and-wellness exam 
from VCA Animal Hospitals, as well as a goody bag filled with information about how to carefor your pet. Pets may not be available for adoption and cannot be held for potential adopters byphone calls or email. 


Mountain Views News 80 W Sierra Madre Blvd. No. 327 Sierra Madre, Ca. 91024 Office: 626.355.2737 Fax: 626.609.3285 Email: editor@mtnviewsnews.com Website: www.mtnviewsnews.com